Is everyone chompin' at the bit and rarin' to go? I am so thought I'd share the following in order to get you guys ready for the new football season.
#1 It has been studied & determined that the most often used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up & begs while the wife rolls over & plays dead.
#2 A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, while softely stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no." the bartender replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she sexily whispers, "There is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
All right, all right fellahs. Now that you've had your laugh, let's go beat the "man" this weekend. Good luck to all.
GM
#1 It has been studied & determined that the most often used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up & begs while the wife rolls over & plays dead.
#2 A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.
When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, while softely stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no." the bartender replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she sexily whispers, "There is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
All right, all right fellahs. Now that you've had your laugh, let's go beat the "man" this weekend. Good luck to all.
GM
