> Subject: Andy Rooney on sex
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>> TOO bad he passed away; he was something else!
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>> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
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>> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
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>> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
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>> 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."
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>> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
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>> 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
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>> 7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
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>> 8. Virginity can be cured.
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>> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
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>> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
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>> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
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>> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
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>> 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
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>> 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
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>> 15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
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16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
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>
>>
>> TOO bad he passed away; he was something else!
>>
>>
>> 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.
>>
>>
>> 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
>>
>>
>> 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
>>
>>
>> 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."
>>
>>
>> 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
>>
>>
>> 6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
>>
>>
>> 7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
>>
>>
>> 8. Virginity can be cured.
>>
>>
>> 9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
>>
>>
>> 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
>>
>>
>> 11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
>>
>>
>> 12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
>>
>>
>> 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
>>
>>
>> 14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
>>
>>
>> 15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
>>> >
>>
16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
