Dear Kind-hearted Friends...
> > >
> > > Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into your heart to
> > > help those in need. Enron executives in our very own country are
> > > living at or just below the seven-figure salary level.
> > >
> > > And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of it as a
> > > result of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation.
> > >
> > > But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day
> > > (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can
> > > help an Enron executive remain economically viable during his time of
> > > need.
> > >
> > > This contribution by no means solves the problem, but it's a start!
> > >
> > > Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an Enron
> > > exec it could mean the difference between a vacation spent sucking ass
> > > in DC, golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven
> > > hundred dollars is nothing more than rent, a car note or mortgage
> > > payments. But to an Enron exec $700 will almost replace his per diem.
> > >
> > > Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an Enron exec to
> > > buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a
> > > new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
> > >
> > > HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
> > > Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the exec
> > > you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
> > > estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
> > > You'll also get information on how he plans to invest his golden
> > > parachute.
> > >
> > > Imagine the joy as you watch your executive's portfolio double or
> > > triple!
> > >
> > > Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive a photo of the
> > > exec (unsigned-- for a signed photo, please include an additional
> > > $50.00). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other
> > > peoples' suffering.
> > >
> > > HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
> > > Your Enron exec will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
> > > wants to help in a time of need. Although the exec won't know your
> > > name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special
> > > operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected
> > > expenses.
> > >
> > > YES, I WANT TO HELP!
> > > I would like to sponsor an Enron executive. My preference is checked
> > > below:
> > >
> > > [ ] Mid-level Manager [ ] Director [ ] Vice President (Higher cost;
> > > please specify which department) [ ] President (Even higher cost;
> > > please specify which department) [ ] CEO (Contribution:: Average Enron
> > > janitor monthly salary x 700) [ ] Entire Company [ ] I'll sponsor an
> > > Exec most in need. Please select one for me.
> > >
> > > *It's just that easy so do it now!*
> > >
> > > Please charge the account listed below ___________ per day and send me
> > > a picture of the Enron executive I have sponsored, along with my very
> > > own Enron "Keep America Strong; Sponsor an Enron Exec: Ask Me How!"
> > > t-shirt to wear proudly.
> > >
> > > Your Name: _______________________
> > > Telephone
> > > Number:_______________________
> > > Account Number: _______________________
> > > Exp.Date:_______ [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ]
> >Discover
> > > Signature: _______________________
> > >
> > > Mail completed form to "The Invisible Hand" or call 1-900-2MUCH now to
> > > enroll by phone. Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the
> > > executive they have sponsored, either in person or by other means
> > > including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or
> > > third parties. Keep in mind that the executive you have sponsored will
> > > be much too busy enjoying his free time, thanks to your generous
> > > donations.
> > >
> > > Contributions are not tax-deductible
