Becoming a Better Man

[Woodson]

Getting married in less than 90 days and I still find myself looking to get to that next level in adulthood and leave behind the childish ways so to speak.

This thread is for the purposes of helping others here work together and provide direction to one another as MadJack Sports forum members.

I have joined a group of guys at a local chapter of Men's Fraternity. It is a series of three one-year-long studies, beginning with The Quest for Authentic Manhood, followed by Winning at Work and Home, and ends with The Great Adventure. Men's Fraternity provides men with an encouraging process that teaches them how to live lives of authentic manhood as modeled by Jesus Christ and directed by the Word of God.

If you have anything positive to add whether via email, through an experience, or book you read. I welcome you to add it here and contribute your experience to your fellow MadJack members.

Thanks for your time fellas. I know a large number of you are in your 40s and 50s and could help shed some light to the young adults looking to begin an Adult life and just starting there on families.

Thanks,

B

 

[Julene]

Woodson, I'll be divorced in about three weeks, so maybe I shouldn't say anything. After all, I don't know how to make it work.

But if you are going to get married make sure that your marriage is the most important relationship in your life, especially at first.

Good luck and God Bless.

My email is junebugbulene at hotmail dot com, if you want to write.

 

[jr11]

The only thing I could tell you is to embrace, cherish, and love it. She will be your soulmate now, and make her feel that way. Please tell her how you feel each and every day, because you just never know when one day it will be gone. Trust me when I say this, and it is from experience obviously as you know my situation, you might only get one chance at finding this therefore do it right. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my wife and would do just about anything to get her back, but unfortunately they tell me she is in a better place I just can't come to grips with that because the better place was with me. Good luck and be happy.

 

[UGA12]

Woodson, I'll be divorced in about three weeks, so maybe I shouldn't say anything. After all, I don't know how to make it work.

But if you are going to get married make sure that your marriage is the most important relationship in your life, especially at first.

Good luck and God Bless.

My email is junebugbulene at hotmail dot com, if you want to write.

I am no saint and have made my share of mistakes, but this should read always!

 

[Mully]

First of all, congrats. Sounds like you're taking a big step in your life. I remember the time leading up to my wedding. I was with my wife for 7 years before we tied the knot. My parents divorced when I was 3, so my childhood pretty much sucked. I guess that's why it took me so long to make the final commitment. I guess I always knew I'd have at least one child of my own and I would never put him through that. I told my wife to be (also from a broken home) that I only planed on doing this once. No matter what , we would share the rest of our lives together. We would enjoy the good times and work as a team to get through the bad ones. Marriage is a full time job that only gets harder when you have children. The key is to grow with each other and love one another unconditionally. For me, divorce is not an option and I made that very clear to her before we walked down the isle. Coming up on 10 years (seems much longer as I've been with her for 17). I'm blessed to have found my soul mate. Believe me, I've put this gal through some shit, but we love each other now more than ever. Marriage is something you have to work on every day. As far as leaving behind your childish ways, I can tell you I'm getting older , but not growing older. Stay young at heart and you will have a long wonderful life.

Congrats again, and God Bless you both.

 

[I LOVE WR]

I love Mullys reply. Very honest and good advice. Then you see he has a girl sticking her ass out in his avatar. classy

JR11 put it so eloquently. Id love to hear your story but not in this mans thread (pm me if you'd like to talk). My heart goes out to you.

Woodson this line you wrote scares me:

Men's Fraternity provides men with an encouraging process that teaches them how to live lives of authentic manhood as modeled by Jesus Christ and directed by the Word of God.

Dont model your life around anything except what you know is right in your heart. Dont let others tell you how you should live. When religous folk try to encourage you to live the way they feel you should I get concerned.

Be honest to yourself and your soon to be wife. Be a good guy when you need to and be a badboy when you need to. But always be honest and dont cheat on her.

You almost sound as if you dont think you are ready to get married. Why all the self doubt and lack of confidence.

Buck up and give it your all

 

[Woodson]

Woodson, I'll be divorced in about three weeks, so maybe I shouldn't say anything. After all, I don't know how to make it work.

But if you are going to get married make sure that your marriage is the most important relationship in your life, especially at first.

Good luck and God Bless.

My email is junebugbulene at hotmail dot com, if you want to write.

Julene,

Thanks for a response. I am sure I will be writing you an email in the near future.

Thanks again.

Bryan

 

[Woodson]

The only thing I could tell you is to embrace, cherish, and love it. She will be your soulmate now, and make her feel that way. Please tell her how you feel each and every day, because you just never know when one day it will be gone. Trust me when I say this, and it is from experience obviously as you know my situation, you might only get one chance at finding this therefore do it right. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my wife and would do just about anything to get her back, but unfortunately they tell me she is in a better place I just can't come to grips with that because the better place was with me. Good luck and be happy.

Jr,

Thank you for your adding your personal point of view. It goes without saying that most people do not think about the inevitable and I have prayed for you for some time. Thanks for the insight and can't wait to swing the clubs with you at the next event!

Bryan

 

[Woodson]

First of all, congrats. Sounds like you're taking a big step in your life. I remember the time leading up to my wedding. I was with my wife for 7 years before we tied the knot. My parents divorced when I was 3, so my childhood pretty much sucked. I guess that's why it took me so long to make the final commitment. I guess I always knew I'd have at least one child of my own and I would never put him through that. I told my wife to be (also from a broken home) that I only planed on doing this once. No matter what , we would share the rest of our lives together. We would enjoy the good times and work as a team to get through the bad ones. Marriage is a full time job that only gets harder when you have children. The key is to grow with each other and love one another unconditionally. For me, divorce is not an option and I made that very clear to her before we walked down the isle. Coming up on 10 years (seems much longer as I've been with her for 17). I'm blessed to have found my soul mate. Believe me, I've put this gal through some shit, but we love each other now more than ever. Marriage is something you have to work on every day. As far as leaving behind your childish ways, I can tell you I'm getting older , but not growing older. Stay young at heart and you will have a long wonderful life.

Congrats again, and God Bless you both.

Mully,

I think you have a knack for this as well. Wouldn't you believe that MJs is so diverse you would have three men respond each with three completely different stories but each their own tale. We have a similar background, so I know you understand when I say I believe it is something you work on daily. Thanks for your comments. You seem to have already traveled this road and done well.

Bryan

 

[Woodson]

I love Mullys reply. Very honest and good advice. Then you see he has a girl sticking her ass out in his avatar. classy

JR11 put it so eloquently. Id love to hear your story but not in this mans thread (pm me if you'd like to talk). My heart goes out to you.

Woodson this line you wrote scares me:

Men's Fraternity provides men with an encouraging process that teaches them how to live lives of authentic manhood as modeled by Jesus Christ and directed by the Word of God.

Dont model your life around anything except what you know is right in your heart. Dont let others tell you how you should live. When religous folk try to encourage you to live the way they feel you should I get concerned.

Be honest to yourself and your soon to be wife. Be a good guy when you need to and be a badboy when you need to. But always be honest and dont cheat on her.

You almost sound as if you dont think you are ready to get married. Why all the self doubt and lack of confidence.

Buck up and give it your all

Good advice as well, though its not that I'm scared, just looking for perspective and the Mens fraternity is faith based but not pressure. I took that one line (the one you were concerned about straight from their website) You make very good points as well.


Overall my point, I have excelled in my career, yet I do not have the confidence in other areas of my life. Its a public forum so we'll live it at that but I thank you all four for being strong/brave enough to add your thoughts so that others could see your points of view.

Thanks,

Bryan

 

[layinwood]

I could say a lot but I think this sums it up for me.

You have to work at having a good marriage, it doesn't just happen. The moment you stop working on it then you're in trouble.


The group you've joined sounds like a good idea. I've always thought you should have a group of friends that hold you accountable for your actions in your marriage. Too many guys have friends that are the opposite.

 

[ppabart]

Woodson....

Best advice I can give you is always be honest, even about the little things. Women have this annoying thing called intuition, and it bits a lot of men in the butt. Even though you may just not be telling her something because it seems inconsequential to you, that little thing may just blow up in your face. If she finds out that you aren't telling her something, then she'll begin to wonder just how much she is in the dark about things. Obviously I have learned this the hard way from past relationships. Its just so much easier to be open and honest about everything with the woman you love. Leave all the games behind you and be a good man to your woman. I'm sure she's wonderful, simply because you chose her. Best of luck, my friend!

Bart

 

[kosar]

Woody,

You're taking this marriage stuff WAY too seriously.

 

[NySportsfan]

the simple solution.....hang out with kosar and copy what he does when you live with your wife:mj07: in all honesty, good for you i guess for trying to be so mature and a "better man" i think it's a bit over the top...have to compromsie with marriage but also can't comrpomise yourself and who you are either

 

[Woodson]

Hey,

I'm simply asking the experts. It's not a question of is the water warm before swimming across the lake, but more of "preferred stroke while getting there"...

I expected a little more humor but I appreciate the genuine responses from you guys.

I haven't owned a plant in 7 years, and it sat it the same spot for another 3 before I tossed it.

Marriage scares me... the girl, now she's fun to hang out with but marriage... keep thinking of the oregon traill or trail of tears or something... :mj07:

Hey, now all that's left is to ask Agent for insurance advice. :sadwave:

 

[Morris]

Woodson, I don't think there are any "experts" out there that can give you advise. Go with what you feel every relationship is different. The two of you will figure it out as you move along.

 

[WhatsHisNuts]

Woodson, I love you brother. I'm glad to hear you are taking some positive steps to make yourself a better man. Make sure that you are making improvements and not wholesale changes. Your future wife is marrying you for who you are, don't be someone you're not bc you'll both end up resenting it.

Take care.

 

[Happy Hippo]

No offense intended Woodson, but like gm said - she is marrying you for who you are. I wouldn't go trying to be someone who you aren't.

Trust me, she will let you know (like any good wife) the areas in which you need improvement

Just listen to the woman, and everything will be fine.

good luck buddy

 

[The Sponge]

Trust me, she will let you know (like any good wife) the areas in which you need improvement

good lord u will be collecting social Security before u finish this job:SIB

 

[vinnie]

good lord u will be collecting social Security before u finish this job:SIB