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Fat Pat's Sports Humor
Condoleezza Rice, Grant Hill, Pete Rose?
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has ruled out the possibility of assuming the role of NFL Commissioner when Paul Tagliabue steps down. Rice is a noted football fan and has frequently stated her desire to eventually run the league. But with Tagliabue?s forthcoming departure, Condi suddenly got cold feet, apparently worried about the prospect of taking a job where she is actually forced to make decisions rather than just press statements. She also realized that there are already plenty of blacks in the NFL, so being a token-minority simply wouldn?t work.
Alfonso Soriano sat out what would have been his spring training debut with his new team, the Washington Nationals, because he wanted to play second base, rather than in the outfield where he had been positioned. Nationals skipper Frank Robinson was aggravated by Soriano?s stubbornness but it should have been anticipated based upon Soriano?s long history of struggling to adapt to changes. Soriano apparently refused to pee standing up until he was 12, would not stop picking and eating his boogers until he was 15, and still sleeps in his Superman pajamas and cape.
Grant Hill has just opened his own art exhibit in Duke?s Nasher Museum of Art. The exhibit holds 57 separate pieces, but 45 are drawings and designs Hill has inked on his various casts over the years.
President Bush will reportedly throw a ceremonial first pitch on April 3 at the Cincinnati Red?s season opener against the Chicago Cubs. Maybe Cincinnati is hoping George?s magic touch can do the same thing for their club as it did in nearly running the Texas Rangers organization into the ground a while back. Or maybe the Reds are simply considering the President as a possible part of their pitching rotation this year after last season?s dismal 73-89 record.
Disgraced Canadian running champ Ben Johnson is cashing in on his checkered past by endorsing the new ?Cheetah? Sports Drink. In similar moves, Pete Rose will be endorsing ?Bettah? Potato Chips, Barry Bonds will be endorsing ?Out-Roid-Geous? Snack Packs, and Doc Gooden will be endorsing ?The New Coke.?
Fat Pat's Sports Humor
Condoleezza Rice, Grant Hill, Pete Rose?
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has ruled out the possibility of assuming the role of NFL Commissioner when Paul Tagliabue steps down. Rice is a noted football fan and has frequently stated her desire to eventually run the league. But with Tagliabue?s forthcoming departure, Condi suddenly got cold feet, apparently worried about the prospect of taking a job where she is actually forced to make decisions rather than just press statements. She also realized that there are already plenty of blacks in the NFL, so being a token-minority simply wouldn?t work.
Alfonso Soriano sat out what would have been his spring training debut with his new team, the Washington Nationals, because he wanted to play second base, rather than in the outfield where he had been positioned. Nationals skipper Frank Robinson was aggravated by Soriano?s stubbornness but it should have been anticipated based upon Soriano?s long history of struggling to adapt to changes. Soriano apparently refused to pee standing up until he was 12, would not stop picking and eating his boogers until he was 15, and still sleeps in his Superman pajamas and cape.
Grant Hill has just opened his own art exhibit in Duke?s Nasher Museum of Art. The exhibit holds 57 separate pieces, but 45 are drawings and designs Hill has inked on his various casts over the years.
President Bush will reportedly throw a ceremonial first pitch on April 3 at the Cincinnati Red?s season opener against the Chicago Cubs. Maybe Cincinnati is hoping George?s magic touch can do the same thing for their club as it did in nearly running the Texas Rangers organization into the ground a while back. Or maybe the Reds are simply considering the President as a possible part of their pitching rotation this year after last season?s dismal 73-89 record.
Disgraced Canadian running champ Ben Johnson is cashing in on his checkered past by endorsing the new ?Cheetah? Sports Drink. In similar moves, Pete Rose will be endorsing ?Bettah? Potato Chips, Barry Bonds will be endorsing ?Out-Roid-Geous? Snack Packs, and Doc Gooden will be endorsing ?The New Coke.?
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