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This Week's Phunny Photo
So some umpires really are blind.
Fat Pat's Sports Humor
Kanye West, NASCAR, the Kentucky Derby?
The Reverend Jesse Jackson has condemned Major League Baseball security and the San Diego Police Dept., following an incident where a fan threw a needle-less syringe near Barry Bonds on the Padres? field. Jackson has similarly condemned the Masters Tournament security and the Augusta Police Dept., after golfer Tom Lehman?s ?06 Escalade was hit by a drive-by shooting. However, Jackson has placed some of the blame for this second incident on the current state of golf today. The Reverend has blasted the decaying culture of golf, as evidenced by the prevalence of Escalades and other ?gangsta cars?, the popularity of model Swedish wives who are completely objectified, and the common wearing of pastel colored Polos that have been popularized by controversial rapper Kanye West.
Olympic skier Bode Miller has lost one of his primary sponsors, Italian pasta maker Barilla, undoubtedly as a result of his lackluster Olympic performance that has sealed his reputation as the sport?s world-champion slacker. Bode responded by claiming he doesn?t really care about having sponsors or money, just as long as he gets to continue playing on elite bourgeoisie golf courses. He also added that he?s already made up for the loss by gaining more appropriate sponsorships from Barton?s Rum and High Times magazine.
Norwegian cross-country ski coach, Bjoernar Haakensmoen, has been rewarded for his sportsmanship in the Turin Winter Olympics with more than five tons of Canadian maple syrup sent from appreciative Canadian fans. During the Winter Games, Bjoernar offered a ski pole to a Candadian skier who had lost her own and she ended up winning a silver medal. Bjoernar remarked to the local Hakgjversjasdt press, ?I?m really thankful for all of the appreciation and all of the syrup, but what do those crazy Canucks really think one man can do with five TONS of syrup?! I would much rather just get a few six-packs, a bigger TV, and a replacement bumper for my Volkswagen. Plus, do these people have any idea what taxes are like here in Norway? This syrup may end up leaving me in debt.?
NASCAR has become outraged over an NBC ?Dateline? segment aimed to show intolerance among NASCAR fans towards Muslims. NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston claims the accusations are ridiculous. ?NASCAR fans are some of the most welcoming and tolerant people in the world,? claimed Poston. ?There hasn?t even been a lynching at a NASCAR event in two years.?
This year?s Kentucky Derby will offer a new way to waste money ? a mint julep priced at an exorbitant $1,000. The drink, which will include mint from Morocco and sugar from the South Pacific, is meant to symbolize the international nature of the Kentucky Derby, according to master distiller Chris Morris. Perhaps Morris means to symbolize multi-nationalism by illustrating that the price of this ridiculous drink could purchase a house, a wife, a half-dozen servants, and a farm to grow mint and sugar on in either Morocco or the South Pacific.
This Week's Phunny Photo
So some umpires really are blind.
Fat Pat's Sports Humor
Kanye West, NASCAR, the Kentucky Derby?
The Reverend Jesse Jackson has condemned Major League Baseball security and the San Diego Police Dept., following an incident where a fan threw a needle-less syringe near Barry Bonds on the Padres? field. Jackson has similarly condemned the Masters Tournament security and the Augusta Police Dept., after golfer Tom Lehman?s ?06 Escalade was hit by a drive-by shooting. However, Jackson has placed some of the blame for this second incident on the current state of golf today. The Reverend has blasted the decaying culture of golf, as evidenced by the prevalence of Escalades and other ?gangsta cars?, the popularity of model Swedish wives who are completely objectified, and the common wearing of pastel colored Polos that have been popularized by controversial rapper Kanye West.
Olympic skier Bode Miller has lost one of his primary sponsors, Italian pasta maker Barilla, undoubtedly as a result of his lackluster Olympic performance that has sealed his reputation as the sport?s world-champion slacker. Bode responded by claiming he doesn?t really care about having sponsors or money, just as long as he gets to continue playing on elite bourgeoisie golf courses. He also added that he?s already made up for the loss by gaining more appropriate sponsorships from Barton?s Rum and High Times magazine.
Norwegian cross-country ski coach, Bjoernar Haakensmoen, has been rewarded for his sportsmanship in the Turin Winter Olympics with more than five tons of Canadian maple syrup sent from appreciative Canadian fans. During the Winter Games, Bjoernar offered a ski pole to a Candadian skier who had lost her own and she ended up winning a silver medal. Bjoernar remarked to the local Hakgjversjasdt press, ?I?m really thankful for all of the appreciation and all of the syrup, but what do those crazy Canucks really think one man can do with five TONS of syrup?! I would much rather just get a few six-packs, a bigger TV, and a replacement bumper for my Volkswagen. Plus, do these people have any idea what taxes are like here in Norway? This syrup may end up leaving me in debt.?
NASCAR has become outraged over an NBC ?Dateline? segment aimed to show intolerance among NASCAR fans towards Muslims. NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston claims the accusations are ridiculous. ?NASCAR fans are some of the most welcoming and tolerant people in the world,? claimed Poston. ?There hasn?t even been a lynching at a NASCAR event in two years.?
This year?s Kentucky Derby will offer a new way to waste money ? a mint julep priced at an exorbitant $1,000. The drink, which will include mint from Morocco and sugar from the South Pacific, is meant to symbolize the international nature of the Kentucky Derby, according to master distiller Chris Morris. Perhaps Morris means to symbolize multi-nationalism by illustrating that the price of this ridiculous drink could purchase a house, a wife, a half-dozen servants, and a farm to grow mint and sugar on in either Morocco or the South Pacific.
