Smoke & Mirrors - November 30th, 2005
The question you?ve got to ask yourself is: Do you care if a talking head smokes pot? If you do ? and if there are lots like you - then Michael Irvin is in deep hemp.
If you don?t ? and I suspect that you are like most folks out there ? it kinda explains a thing or two about why he sounds the way he does.
The Hall of Fame announced that it is considering allowing Irvin admittance to its hallowed halls. The former Dallas Cowboy?s star and current media maven is making a positive vote difficult due to this past week.
Maybe he was celebrating being selected as a semifinalist for the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2006, ?cause shortly there afterwards, he was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.
Add this to the potential Hall of Famer?s resume. In 1996, Irvin eventually pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession after getting caught in a hotel room with drugs and strippers. He tried denying that one at first, but the evidence was both overwhelming and, underdressed.
A few years later he was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession after he and a 21-year-old female were busted in a North Dallas apartment. Charges were later dropped, but that incident cost him his brand new, (he hadn?t even started yet), analyst job with Fox.
Now he?s on ESPN, giving us his vision of the NFL on a weekly basis. Indications of his being stoned sure would clear up a few things for me personally. Known for his finger point-filled rants, those out of context eruptions suddenly make sense if you consider his mind being partially disconnected from the reality of his surroundings. I?m just hoping that?s his excuse.
There?s corroborating evidence that it could be something else however. Irvin is claiming the pot pipe wasn?t his, but instead it belonged to a drug addicted friend of 17 years, and his only crime he insists is trying to help others.
?I know the type of demons they have to fight and I am going to help them, because it?s the only way I can keep them from getting to my family,? Irvin told the Associated Press.
?I have to clean up my friends because they are around my boys. It?s upsetting.?
Now anyway. But I?m wondering why, if he didn?t want his kids exposed to drugs, then how come the old friend was ?around? in the first place?
Well, that?s because Irvin invited him that?s why. And in what has got to be the strangest Thanksgiving day tradition, Irvin frisked him before allowing him entrance to his house.
Michael claims that after finding the pipe, (hopefully in not too nasty a place), he put it in the car so his children wouldn?t see it. Then, due to a too-much-turkey induced stupor, he fell asleep before he could dispose of the incriminating bong.
Unfortunately he was caught speeding two days later, and after first refusing to allow his car to be searched, was caught, cuffed and then had his happy smiling face immortalized in a mug shot.
All of this happened before his Sunday appearance in ESPN for their football pre and post-game shows. You may think the broadcaster is getting kinda liberal with its employees, but in this case, they didn?t know about the arrest. Irvin didn?t tell them.
The network says now it is monitoring the situation. As are we. Should a drug conviction cost an ex-player the Hall of Fame. No. You can murder two people and still have a spot in there. Should a sports broadcaster can a guy for smoking up on occasion? Having spent a decade in that industry, I?d suggest no network would want to set that precedent. They?d have to tie the can to most of their staff if that was the case.
So ? what?s are we supposed to think about the well-suited one?
There are two possibilities here. Either he?s a liar or he?s not.
If he?s lying, who cares? Nothing?s changed. He?s always been a moron.
And if he's telling the truth then Michael Irvin is still a complete moron.
Cheers ? Gavin McDougald ? AKA Couch
Remember to drop us a line at rants@betED.com to voice your opinion on one of McDougald's articles or on anything else you read at betED.com!
The question you?ve got to ask yourself is: Do you care if a talking head smokes pot? If you do ? and if there are lots like you - then Michael Irvin is in deep hemp.
If you don?t ? and I suspect that you are like most folks out there ? it kinda explains a thing or two about why he sounds the way he does.
The Hall of Fame announced that it is considering allowing Irvin admittance to its hallowed halls. The former Dallas Cowboy?s star and current media maven is making a positive vote difficult due to this past week.
Maybe he was celebrating being selected as a semifinalist for the Pro Football Hall of Fame's Class of 2006, ?cause shortly there afterwards, he was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.
Add this to the potential Hall of Famer?s resume. In 1996, Irvin eventually pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession after getting caught in a hotel room with drugs and strippers. He tried denying that one at first, but the evidence was both overwhelming and, underdressed.
A few years later he was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession after he and a 21-year-old female were busted in a North Dallas apartment. Charges were later dropped, but that incident cost him his brand new, (he hadn?t even started yet), analyst job with Fox.
Now he?s on ESPN, giving us his vision of the NFL on a weekly basis. Indications of his being stoned sure would clear up a few things for me personally. Known for his finger point-filled rants, those out of context eruptions suddenly make sense if you consider his mind being partially disconnected from the reality of his surroundings. I?m just hoping that?s his excuse.
There?s corroborating evidence that it could be something else however. Irvin is claiming the pot pipe wasn?t his, but instead it belonged to a drug addicted friend of 17 years, and his only crime he insists is trying to help others.
?I know the type of demons they have to fight and I am going to help them, because it?s the only way I can keep them from getting to my family,? Irvin told the Associated Press.
?I have to clean up my friends because they are around my boys. It?s upsetting.?
Now anyway. But I?m wondering why, if he didn?t want his kids exposed to drugs, then how come the old friend was ?around? in the first place?
Well, that?s because Irvin invited him that?s why. And in what has got to be the strangest Thanksgiving day tradition, Irvin frisked him before allowing him entrance to his house.
Michael claims that after finding the pipe, (hopefully in not too nasty a place), he put it in the car so his children wouldn?t see it. Then, due to a too-much-turkey induced stupor, he fell asleep before he could dispose of the incriminating bong.
Unfortunately he was caught speeding two days later, and after first refusing to allow his car to be searched, was caught, cuffed and then had his happy smiling face immortalized in a mug shot.
All of this happened before his Sunday appearance in ESPN for their football pre and post-game shows. You may think the broadcaster is getting kinda liberal with its employees, but in this case, they didn?t know about the arrest. Irvin didn?t tell them.
The network says now it is monitoring the situation. As are we. Should a drug conviction cost an ex-player the Hall of Fame. No. You can murder two people and still have a spot in there. Should a sports broadcaster can a guy for smoking up on occasion? Having spent a decade in that industry, I?d suggest no network would want to set that precedent. They?d have to tie the can to most of their staff if that was the case.
So ? what?s are we supposed to think about the well-suited one?
There are two possibilities here. Either he?s a liar or he?s not.
If he?s lying, who cares? Nothing?s changed. He?s always been a moron.
And if he's telling the truth then Michael Irvin is still a complete moron.
Cheers ? Gavin McDougald ? AKA Couch
Remember to drop us a line at rants@betED.com to voice your opinion on one of McDougald's articles or on anything else you read at betED.com!
