Big lie

[GM]

Just curious...

What's the biggest secret a spouse / girlfriend ever kept from you? I mean the obvious one would be that she is cheating on you, or did in the past. But I'm not necessarily even talking about that.

What did you do when you found out? Did the relationship survive it? Also curious what your views are on a partner who lives a big lie. Can you forgive her for it....?

I've just been hit with a huge surprise. I'm no prude, but I don't care for drugs, and I'm not interested in anyone who does them regularly. Turns out my girl's been snorting coke for the entire time we've been together, and before that even. We party weekly, but she'd go off in the can and do a line, come back... and stupidly somehow I never caught on til I caught her this week. This has completely stunned me. I don't think I am a naive person, but now I'm wondering...maybe I am. I'm just not the type of person to snoop or not trust her. I never saw the signs. I'm now wondering who this person is that I've been with for over two years and how I could not have noticed it before this.

Looking for serious replies only. Thanks.

 

[Nick Douglas]

Geez, that is a pretty big one. My first instinct is to say that everyone keeps secrets from people. It is just human nature. Whether it's a little thing like eating twinkies when you are both supposed to be dieting or a big thing like this, it is still a secret.

Honestly the way I look at it is that she has to A) love you a lot and B) have a self-destructive personality in some way. If she didn't love you she wouldn't take such care to hide it because surely she was worried that you'd leave her if you found out. The other side of the coin is that if she knew you were an anti-drugs kind of guy and continued to do this, she has to have a self-destructive personality on some level. It's not that she loves the drugs more than you, it's more that her personality makes her do things that will ultimately cause her problems.

I'm no psychiatrist to maybe what I'm saying is just a bunch of crap. You asked for opinions, though, so there's mine. I hope you end up figuring this out and ending up happy.

 

[beantownjim]

HEY JACK WHAT THE F-CK IS GOING ON HERE THERE IS A MENS GAMBLING FORUM NOT DEAR ABBY.I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN NICK DOUGLAS WOULD RESPOND TO THIS NIT WIT THEY SEEM TO STICK TOGETHER.HEY GM YOU GOT A LOT OF BALLS COMING INTO THIS FORUM AND WASTING VALUABLE FORUM SPACE BECAUSE YOUR GIRL IS DOING COKE. LET HER HAVE SOME FUN AND LIVE A LITTLE AND WHY DONT YOU TRY AND JOIN THE PARTY YOU LITTLE FAG YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.GET HER HIGH ON COKE AND TELL HER YOU WANT TO BANG HER AND HER BEST FRIEND AT THE SAMETIME KID YOU ARE SITTING ON A GOLDMINE SO LOOSEN UP GM PICK OUT HER BEST FRIEND AND TELL THEM YOU HAVE A COUPLE OF GRAMS OF COKE AND TO COME ON BY THE HOUSE WHEN THEY ARRIVE YOU ARE STARK NAKED WITH A BONER AND 10 LINES ON A TRAY BELIEVE ME KID THEY WILL BOTH BE GRABBING YOUR MAGIC JOHNSON WITHIN MINUTES AS LONG AS YOU DONT RUN OUT OF COKE SO HAVE PLENTY JUST IN CASE:moon: GOOD LUCK KID AND REMEMBER IF YOU EVER NEED HELP WITH WOMEN IN THE FUTURE I AM ALWAYS AROUND

RE- CAPP FOR GM

STEP 1 LOCATE 2 OR 3 GRAMS OF COKE
STEP 2 INVITE YOUR GIRL AND FRIEND OVER HOUSE FOR COKE PARTY
STEP 3 SHOW UP AT THE DOOR IN THE BUFF WITH YOUR WEINER HANGING OUT THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF PACKAGE THE GIRLS WILL BE GRABBING FOR YOUR BONER INSTEAD OF THE COKE
STEP 4 BRING 2 CONDOMS IN CASE YOU BANG THEM BOTH THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE THE CONDOM WILL BREAK NO NO CHANCE ILL BET YOU ARE A NURD FAG WITH A PENCIL DICK SO YOU CAN GET BY WITH ONE CONDOM
STEP 5 DONT WASTE ALL THE COKE BECAUSE YOU WANT THE BROADS TO COME BACK AGAIN SO JUST USE WHAT YOU HAVE TO

YOU SEE NOW ISNT THIS BETTER ADVICE THAN THAN JERK OFF NICK DOUGLAS GAVE YOU (LET NICK PICK YOUR GAMES BUT LEAVE THE WOMEN TO BEANTOWNJIM I KNOW WHAT FEMALES WANT ) TO THINK THEY PAY PHYCHIATRIST THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR THE ADVICE I JUST GAVE FOR FREE

 

[beantownjim]

GM ONE OTHER THING IF YOU DO PULLL THIS OFF LET ME KNOW HUGH HEFNER GOT HIS START THE SAME WAY AND IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING FOR HIM SO JUST MAYBE GM YOU MIGHT BE THE NEXT HUGH HEFNER.GOODLUCK KID AND DONT FORGET I WANT TO KNOW HOW MY ADVICE WORKS OUT FOR YOU

ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR SISTA WAS DATING SHAWN KEMP,LEBRON JAMES,BEN WALLACE,OR TOM BRADY WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS

 

[TJBELL]

GM:

Here is an interesting link. Cocaine (Scroll down under symptoms)

I was addicted to it for years. Quit cold turkey 12 years ago in May. My signs to others were:

1) Licking my finger and wiping my nostrils frequently (Not wanting any cocaine to be seen up my nose)

2) Constantly licking my lips.

3) Widening of the eyes.

4) Sudden bursts of energy.

5) Dollar bills that when taken from my pocket/wallet would suddenly roll up into a straw like form.

6) Loose razor blades lying around.

7) Residue on hand mirrors.

8) Snorting more than normal. Tried to keep it at a low level as not to let anyone notice!

Some people develope a paranoia. I didn't. A few beers and a few lines and I had more cahones than you would imagine!!

These were the signs that either I know or were told to me AFTER I quit. My girlfriend at the time was always wondering why I was licking my lips and or snorting all the time.

Hope this helps. a VERY strong and powerful drug. Right before I quit, another girl I was dating at the time went to smoking it and finally shooting it. Each being more ephoric than the other. I knew I was addicted so I never did anything other than snort it. If it goes to smoking it as a next step, watch out.

Good luck in whatever you do!!

TOM

 

[TJBELL]

Also forgot to add serious loss of APETITE!!!!!!

 

[skulldog]

Beanbag, your an asshole!! GM appears to sincere and was asking for for advice, and you start your shit:nono: :moon:

Tbell- congrats on kicking the habit. Gm- If you despise drugs, then you have no choice but to dump her and move on(You might want to assist her in getting help, as a friend would) you will not be able to trust her again and w/out that it will never work.

GL

PS Beanga:thefinger

 

[HighRoller]

Jack,

Why do you continue to allow this piece of shit beantownjim to post here. I would have to say that GM coming into the forum and posting such a personal topic about his own girlfriend and the seriousness of the issue must have been very difficult for him. It makes me sick that BTJ would have inhumane reasoning to respond like that. We have seen these kind of responses many times! Why is he allowed to continue to post ? He is a racist and degrading pig.

Do the right thing here jack.

HR.

 

[Zoso]

No big deal, unless she starts smoking it...Next time your partying, tell her you want to try some, it leads to incredible

 

[loungelizard]

I don't know if she lied, did you ask her and she deny it? just wondering, cause we all have things that we dance around if asked, have you sat down and talked to her about it. God knows i have had my problems, but a loving partner has helped me, to easy these days just to say ah screw it and jump ship, if you really care for this gal, give it all you got, and then a little bit more, then u can say you did your best, and hopefully things will work out for you.

Best of luck,
Peace,
LL

 

[slick willy 17]

It surprised me when I read that you've been together for two years. Not to get too personal, but I'd be willing to bet she has plenty of other secrets, too. Had a similar situation, turned a blind eye to an obvious problem an ex-girlfriend had. I like to go out and party a lot, but don't touch that shit. Completely uninformed advice here. Never met you or her, don't know the sutuation, but I'd strongly consider ending it. Don't know how severe it is, though. GL whatever you decide to do.





I will never forget the great cascade sportsbook robbery of 2003. BTJ, may you eat the fattest of C*CKS:thefinger


GL everyone else,


Willy

 

[TJBELL]

Beanbag, your an asshole!! GM appears to sincere and was asking for for advice, and you start your shit:nono: :moon:

PS Beanga:thefinger

That was rude. God forbid you need advise in the future! :nono:

 

[THE KOD]

GM

beantownjim is a dipstick and I think you know that.

I had a female employee that was able to hide coke use for a long time while under my direct supervision. I worked with her every day.

She was doing it on the job. Its amazing the lengths someone will go to hide this drug use.

When I finally found out I was amazed that she could have hid this from me and I didnt notice any signs. I do remember one day seeing white powder on her nose after she came out of the womans room. I reached over and brushed it off thinking she
was using powder on her face.

Geezz Louise

After about two years she finally wasted out, missed alot of work and then went to rehab. I was involved in setting up the program and all that. At that level it is very difficult to quit on your own.

good luck. If you choose to stay in the relationship, it will be a very difficult road.

KOD

 

[skulldog]

Zoso, another fawcking idiot
:moon: :shrug: Jack what the hell is going on here?

A member who adds alot of value to the forum comes in and asks for some serious advice and beanshit slaps him around like that, is bullshit. It's not like BtJ started the thread and we could aviod him, he's a pain in the ass. I hate to admit but sometimes he's funny, but most of the time he's a scumbag.

Good Luck GM

 

[Trampled Underfoot]

I do agree this is a serious problem but I must admit that BTJ doesnt have a bad idea IMO.

 

[theGibber1]

how often does she do it?

once a month or so at a party?

if its every day.. then my friend you are dating an addict. This means trouble. Eventually it will get worse and thats all she will think about. All of her money will go towards her habbit. Then probably a little of yours. Most addicts have to hit bottom before they can straighten out. Then there is usually a lengthy recovery process, followed by anxiety, boredom, and depression..Do you love her enough to go through all this shit??? If not i would take off!

gl

 

[SixFive]

My first thought also was what other secrets is she hiding?

She'll need somebody that loves her to help her quit imo. I think she definitely has to right now. I think you should consider helping her out and seeing if she tries to stop. Heavy stuff, and I hope you have good fortune with her.

Back to not noticing habits, I was too stupid to notice MJ usage by an employee several years ago. I also learned after several years what sweating out the next day after a binge of alcohol smelled like. Live and learn, knowing these signs of use is not innate. Don't beat yourself up for not noticing sooner.

 

[GM]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the replies. Don't worry about BTJ. I actually got a bit of a laugh out of that, odd as it may seem. I've been pissed off for a couple days now and could use a laugh. I knew I'd get some of that but posted anyways. Whatever, I can handle that sort of a response to this; I couldn't care less.

Like I said, to me this is at least as much about lying as it is about a drug use problem. Of course the drug is a problem. Good question...what other sh*t is she hiding if she is hiding this. Now I don't really believe anything she says.

And yes I do consider it a lie, when your girlfriend goes to such extremes to hide it from right under your nose (excuse the pun). When she's got a friend who comes over to party with us, who would hide the coke in the bathroom so that I wouldn't see them exchanging anything. And the guy came over for over a year and hung out with us and didn't think there was anything wrong with going behind my back to do this. I've got a real problem with this. I'm looking forward to seeing him next time so he can experiment with snorting coke through a broken nose.

Ok, so I didn't come right out and ask her "Are you snorting coke?". Does that mean she is not lying?? Do I have to ask her everything? That's just a bullshit excuse. Even she admits she was not being honest with me from the start...so now that we agree on that at least... She knew from the start I wouldn't like it and took measures to do it but avoid having me see it. That's living a lie, whether it's verbal or not. I am in general a trusting person and I think it would be pretty sad if I had to chase her around and monitor everything she does. I guess that is what I will have to do though, if I stay with her.

She says she is sorry. Personally I don't feel she is sorry about anything except getting caught. If she was sorry she could have stopped six months ago, or a year ago. She could have stopped while she was pregnant and maybe the baby she miscarried would have had a chance. Do you think that would have been a good opportunity for her to let me in on her little secret if she was really sorry? I am not buying this "sorry" shit. If she'd do it all this time, then I have no doubt she will keep on doing it. I may be a bit naive, but I am not completely stupid.

Like I said, I am not a prude. We party weekly. I drink and on a rare occasion I'll smoke a joint...big deal. This is a bit more serious than that to me though. She claims she only does it on our party nights...but who knows if that is the truth either. I'm not there three nights a week, so anything could be going on.

Glad to hear you kicked the habit TJ. Also nice to see I am not the only one who was totally caught by surprise by something like this.

 

[beantownjim]

BOYS LETS NOT FORGET THIS IS A SPORTS FORUM NOT A F-CKING PHYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE IF THIS KID NEEDS ADVICE FROM A BUNCH OF REJECTS LIKE YOURSELVES HE HAS A MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM THAN I THOUGHT GROW UP GM AND BECOME A MAN YOU EITHER DEAL WITH HER OR YOU DUMP HER END OF STORY NOW GET SOME BALLS AND CONFRONT HER YOU CHICKEN SH-T ARE YOU AFFRAID SHE WILL CHOOSE THE COKE OVER YOU CLAIMING THE COKE IS BETTER IN BED,I AM DONE WITH THIS TOPIC I HAVE TO GO STUDY MY NBA CARD:fingerc: :ban: IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANY MORE PATHETIC STORIES LIKE THIS.

I WILL NEVER FORGET THE GREAT CASCADE ROBBERY OF 2003 THE DAY LENNY AND CASCADE SPORTSBOOK STOLE 660 DOLLARS FROM ME THEN CALLED ME A SUCKER:thefinger

 

[theGibber1]

If she was sorry she could have stopped six months ago, or a year ago. She could have stopped while she was pregnant and maybe the baby she miscarried would have had a chance.

run away! run away!

this Bitc....ok ill be polite... this girl has a serious problem.. if shes hurting herself thats one thing.. but if shes pregnant and still doing that shit.. youve got a serious problem on your hands..

what if she didnt miscarriage and your child came out deformed? thats some selfish bull shit and you dont need anyone like that.

my parents were married 25 yrs.. i was married and with the same woman for 7 yrs..

we all got over it.. we all survived.. its very hard at first. but do whats best for you and get the **** out.. dont wait till its too late and you are married and have kids..

gl

gib