Class reunions

[marine]

Hey guys,
I have my ten year reunion coming up this summer and I am looking for some good career choices to portray myself as so people will think I really succeeded in life and am doing great. Any input or ideas would be helpful so I can narrow them down and make the right choice.
Here is what I have so far:

Golf caddy - not some PGA tours guy either.. a real live country club! Complete with soda machines and snack machines! My duties would entail polishing shafts, rubbing down heads of the shafts, washing balls, and the ever important floor sweeper and soda machine refiller

Rodeo clown - yes, I dance around bulls and step in sh*t. I even wear make up/face paint and run around like an idiot.

Cross dresser - I compete in the transgender beauty pageants and usually place in the top ten. Occasionaly make the trek to vegas to dance in some of the shows.

Hot dog cart vendor - I own my hot dog cart after years of paying monthly installments to call it my own. I can make 6 hot dogs at the same time and have a line of 3-4 people constantly throughout the day they love my weiners so much.

Sperm bank employee - self explanatory

Slumlord/Trailer park manager - every month i beat down doors and take people's last bit of welfar and social security so I can make that extra payment on my 'vette

any other ideas? please help. I want to make this a memorable reunion for everyone there.

Also, if anyone has any small children they would loan me for it, I would be most appreciative. I would love nothing more than to walk in ther with 14 kids and claim they all have different mothers.

 

[sooner5]

:lol2

 

[DR STRANGELOVE]

porn star

 

[RAZ]

port-a-johnny repairman, although they have no moving parts, you stop by them all once a week stick your hand and move the blue fluid around, offer them a big handshake w/blue dye on your hand

 

[Franky Wright]

:lol2 LMAO
Raz,
Dont know if it's my own visual techniques, but that one had me on the Floor...Tanx!!!!

Strange,
Were'nt you in the porn business at one time? LOL. Keep wondering where all that MOJO comes from!!!

 

[AR182]

funny thread !

marine:"I have my ten year reunion coming up this summer and I am looking for some good career choices to portray myself as so people will think I really succeeded in life and am doing great."

i have found that people react very positively with my choice of career when i tell them that i am a "javlin catcher". they usually walk away shaking their head & i take it that they are very impressed.

 

[marine]

I like that port-a-crapper one!

Another one I dreamed up is

Roadie for Pearl Jam/any band- I am the guy you see crouched down running around and unwinding cords, picking up mike stands, tuning guitars.. check 1-2, check checkcheck 2 3 4

I figure if I stop bathing and shaving now, I should be in prime apparrel for this position by late summer.

 

[RAZ]

I.U.D. tester, bring a curl bar w/you to the reunion, tell everyone it it Oprah 's I.U.D. and all the dents and bends are your work!!

You could also bring a hula hoop, tell them you got promoted to diaphragms, and that this one you tested for Nell Carter, it failed, LOL!!

 

[Bluemound Freak]

I always give em the old........." Yeah I have been prize fighting for about 8 years now, hey did'nt you used to pick on me in high school? Yeah I thought so! " Gig and that usually gets a good stare!

I had some girls going on the premise that I was a UFC Fighter and that I had just gotten back from a fight.........Yes they were blonde!

 

[TBONEZ0295]

FUNNY STUFF

 

[mb]

Marine,

The only job you left out of that group is a lawyer.

MB

 

[vinnyhockey]

Marine,

Go up to the best looking chicks in the class and say you are an Anaesthesiologist and you need to numb their area, numb, numb numb, numb.

Should work great!!!!!!!

Vinny

 

[boilermaker]

How bout mop man at the porno peep show booth.

 

[beantownjim]

MARINE I HAVE THE PERFECT PROFFESION FOR YOU TELL YOUR OLD CLASS MATES YOU ARE A (GROIN-ACOLOGIST) YOU STUDY MENS GROINS AND GIVE THEM MASSAGE THERAPY.HEY WHAT THE F-CK MARINE ITS HONEST WORK AND SOME HOMOSEXUAL HAS TO DO IT SO IT MIGHT AS WELL BE YOU:moon: ENJOY THE REUNION GOOD BUDDY,YOUR PAL BEANTOWNJIM

ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR SISTER WAS DATING BEN WALLACE,KEVIN GARNETT,PATRICK EWING,OR TOM BRADY WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS

 

[NickiD]

Funny stuff....

I guess I could go and be you could tell people "She's one of my babie's momas"

 

[BADTODABONE]

If you are not married, use 'I'm dating the Govenor's daughter '. Be sure to know the name of the GOV. and STATE. Used it once many years ago and not one person asked me what the 'Govenor's daughters name was. We even went out to dinner by helicopter from the STATE HOUSE...as the story goes...