Colonoscopies........Funny

[escarzamd]

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all..

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Now that is funny.

Eddie

 

[MadJack]

:142smilie :142smilie

 

[The Boys]

funny stuff :mj07:

 

[Blitz]

:mj07: :142smilie :moon: :00x5

 

[MadJack]

let me see how funny you guys think it is when *YOU* are being wheeled in for one :mj07:

i'm 2 years overdue :scared

 

[vinnie]

let me see how funny you guys think it is when *YOU* are being wheeled in for one :mj07:

........:s1:

 

[MadJack]

........:s1:

yeah, vinnie. you're due soon :SIB

 

[Morris]

let me see how funny you guys think it is when *YOU* are being wheeled in for one :mj07:

i'm 2 years overdue :scared

I thought you had one scheduled?:shrug:

 

[MadJack]

I thought you had one scheduled?:shrug:

postponed it

one of these days we'll get er taken care of :SIB

 

[VaNurse]

Jack, I'm ashamed of you! The indignity of the test is a hell of a lot less traumatic than the treatment for colon cancer. Stop being such a phobe and just get it done! That for should.

 

[MadJack]

why do women always encourage us guys to have that done :shrug:

what are the symptoms of colon cancer? nevermind, don't answer that.

i'll have it done one of these days. :SIB

 

[Morris]

Jack, it's no big deal. Just do it. You sleep through it all!

 

[VaNurse]

Ah, leave him alone, Morris. I'm sure he'd rather just wear a bag for the rest of his potentially shortened life than wake up with the thought that a small tube had been inserted up his bum.
:shrug:

 

[dunclock]

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

I used this one when I had mine last month:mj07:

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

let me see how funny you guys think it is when *YOU* are being wheeled in for one :mj07:

i'm 2 years overdue :scared

Talk about postponing--My DR has scheduled (I believe 3) since I turned 50--and have never had one done yet.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

The reality is, I think Wayne and Jack are afraid they might like the procedure.

Eddie

 

[dunclock]

Never knew a thing!

Rolled me into one room, gave me the stuff to knock me out

Woke up in another room a new man:scared

:142smilie :142smilie

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Next day Dunclock goes out for drinks and orders a champagne coolie.

Eddie

 

[dunclock]

Nah Ed, just started with your favorites, the blush wines:mj07: