Dog Question

M

marine

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Serious question for dog owners.

My shepard is almost 3 yrs old. Everytime I get down on the ground to play with him, play with my daughter, or just to reach under the couch to find the remote or a toy....
he INSISTS on mounting me from behind.

I mean, we are talking full blown whore in the cheap motel style doggystyle romping here.

Some times he gets pretty rambunctios and has left scratches on my back. And grosser... i have felt his chubby.

Any tips on how to get him to stop doing this to me? Usually I cuff him with a backhand and wrestle him down and some times I have even turned the tables and mounted him to show him how rude it is, but to no avail. Problem still occurs.
 
MadJack

MadJack

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i don't know about you, marine.
 
SixFive

SixFive

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get him down on the ground, growl at him, bite him on the muzzle, and then growl some more. If that doesn't work to prove your dominance over him, get him fixed. If he's already fixed, get a shock collar and shock him when he's doing that until he learns that is an unwanted behavior.

proving your dominance like in the first sentence works well when the dogs are puppies especially if you have an alpha male.
 
M

Mjolnir

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i totally agree with 65. i have a 10 yr old shepherd and never had this problem. at an early age i downed him a few times and growled when he thought he was the alpha and i have never had problems like that. i also had him fixed at a young age. if he is doing something i don't like i raise my voice and it is over instantly. he still does some things that irritate me, but they are mostly harmless. i wonder if this works when you have son's, cut their balls off and down them a few times.
lol
 
F

freelancc

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again... :sadwave: another thread i deeply regret opening.. :wall:

although i did like mama's comment..;)
 
M

marine

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yea yea yea, hardy hardy har...

He was fixed at an early age.
To be honest, he is a VERY docile well behaved dog except for this. Well behaved, obedient - well trained on both hand and verbal commands, heck he is even gentle with my lil 2 yr old daughter when she yanks on his tail and teases him with treats.
He just lays around the place like a big fat lazy turd until the old man bends over and WHAMMO.

I have "mounted" him from the front, from the side, from the rear... I have pulled his head down by his collar and put him down numerous times. and just laid on top of him and not let him up.
Slapped his nose, put him in "time out" the whole sha-bang.

Even when I had a second dog around the house, this one was always Beta - never, NEVER Alpha.

I will just say, one day I figured I would let him get it all out of his system and hump my back and hopefully it would lose its thrill and he wouldn't do it again.

I had no idea dog's weiners could get so big. Beantown, you need to tell all dogs to sleep with their paws over the covers.
 
C

Clem D

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put some peanut butter on your wiener and he'll lick your chubby.
We're you really a marine? I can't see any of the jarheads I've ever known getting mounted by their dogs. Dogs are an excellent judge of character. It looks like your dog new you were gay before you did. I was going to tell you awhile ago that you were a little fruity, as this is not your first post regarding man ass. Looks like we won't need to have that talk now buttercup.
 
saint

saint

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marine said:
I will just say, one day I figured I would let him get it all out of his system and hump my back and hopefully it would lose its thrill and he wouldn't do it again.

I had no idea dog's weiners could get so big. Beantown, you need to tell all dogs to sleep with their paws over the covers.
Click to expand...

I just had to quote that pearl to save it in case you took it down. That is some nasty shite! I hope when your daughter is old enough you don't let the first guy who courts her hump her brains out to "get it out of his system". LMAO :142lmao:
 
Blackman

Blackman

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When I opened this thread to read Marine's "Dog Question" I never dreamt this is what I would find.

Wish I could help but this one has left me speechless.
 
dogface

dogface

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Have you tried getting him some doggy porn and a nice little bottle of puppy lube!

It just might get his mind off your rear pillows!! :scared

D.G.


How is the new job going my friend, are you running the place yet!
 
M

marine

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Dogface,
The new job is coming along nicely. COming up on 1 full year with the new company shortly and have been bumped one slot up already (have my own building and staff in Wash DC now) and soon to be bumping up another slot. I, as well as my Director, already feel that I have made a tremendous impact. I have already outgrown the position I was brought in for.

I stress sometimes, and have found myself bringing work home with me, but I want to move up the ladder quick!

Best accomplishment... I was "instrumental" in landing a Global HR Solutions contract vehicle with the Army for our company. 5yr - $143 mill value!
 
M

marine

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I tell you what... all you little funny men and comedians out there.

You think I initiated this mess with my pooch? sheeet no! Just happened to reach under the entertainment center one day and BOOM he was on me like a fat kid on a snickers bar.
Hasn't stopped since. I have broken the habit of him jumping up on me (face to face) with a few well placed knees to his sternum. But I can't break this habit of his for the life of me. Maybe I should go to WWW.ASKJEEVES.COM or maybe I could take the mutt out to WWW.LEGALSEAFOODS.COM and bribe him.
ooooooooo maybe i could teach him to hump Squirrels!

But all you beastiality deranged perverts are truly sick. I come here looking for advice and guidance from the older, more experience crowd... and I am mocked.

Surely there must be some liberals here that can sympathize with me on topics like this.
 
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