Duck joke

[THE KOD]

Duck walks into a bar jumps up on the bar and asks the bartender .....Do you have any grapes ? Bartender says ......no we dont have grapes here. Duck walks out.


Duck walks into the bar the next day, Jumps up on the bar and asks the bartender got any grapes. Bartender says NO and if you ask me that again I am going to nail your duck feet to the bar you scrounging little bastid fowl.

Duck walks in next day jumps up on the bar. You got any nails ?
Barender says....no i dont have any nails.

Duck says..... Got any grapes ?


Willie Nelson - Playboy interview 2002


Scott-Atlanta

 

[TDP]

This professional burglar is in a grocery store in a upscale part of town when he over hears this family discussing the trip that they are taking for a few days leaving tonight. He carefully follows them home and decided to come back that night with intentions of robbing their house if they are gone. That night he returns and sure enough there is no sign of the family. He breaks in and quitely begins going thru the house. soon after he hears a voice that says "jesus is watching you". It startles him, but he is sure no one is home. Once again he here's "jesus is watching you". this time he shines his small flashlight in the general direction of the voice and see's a talking bird in a cage. Once again the bird says "jesus is watching you". The burglar laughs under his breathe and tells the bird if he don't shut up he will send him to jesus tonight. About that time he hears a low hair rasing growl. He shines his light in the general direction to find the meanest looking rotweiller you ever seen a few feet away about to tear him a new one. The bird then says "I told you jesus was watching you"...