Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."
A thief broke into the local police station
and stole all the lavatory equipment.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying,
"We have absolutely nothing to go on."
An Indian chief was feeling very sick,
so he summoned the medicine man.
After a brief examination,
the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide
and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew
and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.
The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on....
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage
and found his name missing from the town register.
His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official
who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu
he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict." His order comes a while later
and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?"
The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
A young American couple, who recently bought a large house in London,
decided that their new home needed central heating. When they were told
it would be impossible to install a heating system, the wife sighed and said,
"I should have known that we couldn't have archaic and heat it too."
The other day I decided to bake a cake and so I set to work in the kitchen.
I discovered that I didn't have any butter, so I sent my dog to buy some.
On the way, he passed a bookstore and, being intrigued by a display in the window,
he went in and came home with a dog-eared book of poems.
The point of my story is:
Never send a literary dog to the grocery store because . . .
he'll get verse before he gets butter!"
However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,
"Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down.
You'll just have to be a little patient."
A thief broke into the local police station
and stole all the lavatory equipment.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying,
"We have absolutely nothing to go on."
An Indian chief was feeling very sick,
so he summoned the medicine man.
After a brief examination,
the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide
and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew
and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.
The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on....
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage
and found his name missing from the town register.
His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official
who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu
he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict." His order comes a while later
and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?"
The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
A young American couple, who recently bought a large house in London,
decided that their new home needed central heating. When they were told
it would be impossible to install a heating system, the wife sighed and said,
"I should have known that we couldn't have archaic and heat it too."
The other day I decided to bake a cake and so I set to work in the kitchen.
I discovered that I didn't have any butter, so I sent my dog to buy some.
On the way, he passed a bookstore and, being intrigued by a display in the window,
he went in and came home with a dog-eared book of poems.
The point of my story is:
Never send a literary dog to the grocery store because . . .
he'll get verse before he gets butter!"
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