Friday's chuckles

[Woodson]

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says 6 Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible.
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and, there is that risk involved.
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian?

 

[ga_ben]

:mj07: Nice!

 

[Morris]

:mj07: :mj07:

 

[OAKAS]

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

Thanks Woodson

 

[Woodson]

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying flowers.

The redhead sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"

The redhead replies, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

 

[BUCSnotYUCKS]

both are good, but the 1st one is pretty damn funny! good stuff woodson!

 

[IntenseOperator]

10 RULES TO LIVE BY AND LIVE A LONGER LIFE



Here are 10 basic rules to follow, to ensure you will have a safe and Happy Halloween.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

6. If the appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out!

7. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around!

8. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. :mj07: It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. (This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.)

9. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

10. If ever running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also, note that despite the fact you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it?s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.