This is a story about a couple who had been
> > happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was
> > the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
> > The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
> > and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to
> > stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
> > couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
> > see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts
> > out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
> > Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
> > was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
> > the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
> > A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
> > where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
> > covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
> > emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she
> > heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed
> > by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he
> > ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
> > rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of
> > torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty
> > minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
> > underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
> > asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All
> > these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What
> > do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
> > I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
> > But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think
> > I got most of them back in."
> > happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was
> > the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
> > The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
> > and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to
> > stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
> > couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
> > see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts
> > out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
> > Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
> > was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
> > the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
> > A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs
> > where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
> > covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
> > emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she
> > heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed
> > by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he
> > ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
> > rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of
> > torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty
> > minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
> > underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she
> > asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All
> > these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What
> > do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day
> > I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
> > But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think
> > I got most of them back in."
