I have been in touch with Senator Sherrod Brown, Al Franken, Nancy Pelosi, and several other DC big wigs. We will be announcing the new Golf Neutrality Bill. No longer will you have to wait for those old farts or the women slow playing in front of you. If you cant play 18 in 3.5 hours, you are banned from golf, for life.
Never played a private course? Worry not, no more private or semi private courses. Greens fees will be the same at every course. Do you normally pay 18.00 for a round at your local cow path public course, but cant even think about the 300+ to play Blackwolf? Well worry no more. Uncle Sammy has it covered. And playing conditions will be as pristine as ever of course, because we are the government. Cant afford the greens fees at Augusta, forget about it, we got it covered, Uncle Sammy will subsidize it for you. Ya know that old retiree you joined up with on # 2 that paid half of what you did just because he's old, well now he's fucked, he will pay what you do for 18, and if he cant keep up the pace, we'll have him thrown off the course for slow play. Old bastards drag their feet on the greens anyway.
So who else wants to open up a golf course, should be easy to compete with Uncle Sam right?
Never played a private course? Worry not, no more private or semi private courses. Greens fees will be the same at every course. Do you normally pay 18.00 for a round at your local cow path public course, but cant even think about the 300+ to play Blackwolf? Well worry no more. Uncle Sammy has it covered. And playing conditions will be as pristine as ever of course, because we are the government. Cant afford the greens fees at Augusta, forget about it, we got it covered, Uncle Sammy will subsidize it for you. Ya know that old retiree you joined up with on # 2 that paid half of what you did just because he's old, well now he's fucked, he will pay what you do for 18, and if he cant keep up the pace, we'll have him thrown off the course for slow play. Old bastards drag their feet on the greens anyway.
So who else wants to open up a golf course, should be easy to compete with Uncle Sam right?
