>
>
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
>
>Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according
> to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the
>way cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
>Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain
>and whine about getting fat. Get in shower.
>Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
>pumice stone.
>Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
>vitamins.
>Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
>vitamins.
>Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
>natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
>Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
>raw.
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that
>it's all come off.
>Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and
>turns red hot.
>Turn off shower.
>Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash bathroom
>spray.
>Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
>Wrap hair in super absorbant second towel.
>Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails or
>tweezers if found.
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If
>husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend
>half an
>hour getting dressed.
>
>
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>
>Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on floor.
>Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "Woo"
>sound.
>Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have
>pecs
>(no).
>Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for
>one last whiff.
>Get in shower.
>Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
>Wash face
>Wash armpits
>Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.
>Wash privates and the surrounding area
>Wash butt, leaving hair on soap
>Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner
>Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror
>Pee (in shower)
>Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because
>shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
>Partially dry off
>Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of
>knob(again)
>Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor
>Leave bathroom light and fan on
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
>towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
>Put on yesterdays clothes.
"Woo; yeah baby"
>
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
>
>Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according
> to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the
>way cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
>Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain
>and whine about getting fat. Get in shower.
>Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
>pumice stone.
>Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
>vitamins.
>Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
>vitamins.
>Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with enhanced
>natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
>Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
>raw.
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that
>it's all come off.
>Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and
>turns red hot.
>Turn off shower.
>Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash bathroom
>spray.
>Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
>Wrap hair in super absorbant second towel.
>Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails or
>tweezers if found.
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If
>husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend
>half an
>hour getting dressed.
>
>
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
>
>Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on floor.
>Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "Woo"
>sound.
>Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have
>pecs
>(no).
>Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for
>one last whiff.
>Get in shower.
>Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
>Wash face
>Wash armpits
>Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.
>Wash privates and the surrounding area
>Wash butt, leaving hair on soap
>Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner
>Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror
>Pee (in shower)
>Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because
>shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
>Partially dry off
>Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of
>knob(again)
>Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor
>Leave bathroom light and fan on
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
>towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
>Put on yesterdays clothes.
"Woo; yeah baby"
