I Have A Dilemna!

[fatdaddycool]

O.K. a quick background..a buddy of mine is getting married in july I think it is, anyway the bride isn't Catholic and he is. So he asked me to do a reading however ceremony is not at Catholic Church thereby cancelling said reading. Now we have decided, the Groom and I, that since I am such an important part of any celebration I should come up with something to add to their special day!
I am 37 years old, 5' 9'', about 230lbs, have all my hair, and in fairly good shape.....I have decided to go with an INTERPRETIVE DANCE at the reception. My dilemna is as follows;
I cannot decide on a song, BALL AND CHAIN by Janis Joplin is too long, PLEASE CALL HOME by the Allman Brothers is not quite right so I am in need of some help any ideas?
Also I need to know if any one has any of the following or know where to get them:

1. Pink leg warmers
2. XL Tutu
3. XXL Spandex Body suit
4. Blow up Doll.....nevermind I will get a new one..ick!
5. one of those streamers on a stick, suppose I could make that
6. Maracas
7. an old fedora
8. A big pair of tights kinda like the ones in the caption contest..lol

if anyone has any input let me know I have to get busy on this, it has to be spectacular!!!!

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Don't let that deal go down!

Grateful Dead!

Perfect wedding song

 

[MadJack]

"nice day for a white wedding"

dress in white, of course

billy idol

 

[fatdaddycool]

good call on both songs, how bout tights? Jack, Freak,??? leg warmers ???? need to dress to impress

 

[BreakaLeg]

Fatdaddy, How about Color My World by Chicago, it's slow enough to really ham it up and get your special message across. No help with ensemble but break a leg!

 

[AR182]

I always found Dylan's "Every Day Woman--Every Body Must Get Stoned" always to be a crowd pleaser at weddings.Now while you are singing this song,have your assistant pass out samples of the stuff along with pipes.You must make sure that the parents of the bride & groom get the first tokes.Then clear out of the way when there is a mass rush to the dessert table.It can't miss.

Don't know if they will fit you because I am a little taller but you can borrow my pink leggings.But I required that you give me money as collateral for the leggings.I figure $4.99 should do.You get the money back,provided they are returned in the same condition when you borrowed them.
I am not sure but I think my friend has a XL tutu.I will ask him once he finishes his shift with the NYPD.
I think it is pretty easy for you to get the maracas.Just go down to the Mexican border & ask the border guards.I am sure they could help you.
Let me know if I could help.

 

[fatdaddycool]

yyyyyyeeeeeessssssssss

 

[marine]

Jimmy Buffett's "Why dont we get drunk and screw" might be a nice song to do it to as well.

 

[Myron]

Actually how about a nice polka. Get an acordion play The Too Fat Polka and dress in some kind of Polish or German outfit. Catholic mothers love it.

BTW, here's a joke you can tell also.

A virgin Italian girl just gets married to a guy and when it is time to consumate the wedding she is nervous. While the reception continues they go up to the room to do the deed. The guy takes off his shirt and he is incredibly hairy so the girl runs down to the reception and cries to her mother
"Mama he take off his a shirt and he's gotta hair all over his body."
"That no matter," the mother replies, "you go back up and a please your man."

So the girl goes back up to the room. He then removes his pants and she notices a tatoo on his hip. So again the girl runs back down and says
"Mama he just a took off his pants and he's gotta tattoo on his a hip."
"That no matter," the mother replies, "you go back up and a please your man."

So the girl goes back up to the room. He then removes his shoes and socks and she notices that one of his feet is deformed and is basically just a stub with no toes. So again the girl runs down to the mother and cries
"Mama he's got a foot and a half."

"All right," the mother answers, "you stay here and I'll go up and please a your man."

 

[TIME TO MAKE $$$]

CRIS,

Just wear a thong and the ladies shall be impressed????
Just make sure the men are all straight or else you might get a piece of wood up your :moon:

HAVE FUN

 

[fatdaddycool]

Just make sure the men are all straight or else you might get a piece of wood up your

lmao

if some gay dude finds me attractive then he has a lot more issues than just being a tailgunner....has taste issues also.......but I am not worried about anyone being gay at the wedding....the way I see it the only real way to tell if anyone is truly gay is if you are gay yourself otherwise how would you really know and since I still find myself attracted to women and I am, at the present time, a man.... I have to believe that I am heterosexual.....not that there is anything wrong with that!!!! Just don't like sharing underwear with my date, ya know. Plus, I have two ex-wives now...so that not only makes me straight but a real life practicing womanizer.....how about that !!!!

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Womanizer: A man who uses women promiscuiosly and then moves on to another woman to do the same. To use woman for merely sexual pleasure. To be at the top of your game and not get caught slipping. ie. see above for details ie. fatdaddycool, & bluemound Freak are prime examples.


I love it man, I really and truthfully deep down inside am not a womanizer but it sure is a nice fantasy world to visit every now and again don't you think?

 

[wareagle]

AR152, its actually called "Rainy Day Women #12 and 35" by Dylan. Although 12*35=420, that is just a coincidence...I don't think Rainy Day Women is really about getting stoned, although I think the chorus is a play on words so that I do think the chorus points to that reference obviously. Mainly, if you look at the lyrics closely, this song seems to me to be about criticism and persecution.

Written in 1966, most know what the country was like at that time- and most know the boldness of Dylan's writings as a political and social commentary. For me personally, and this may not even be accurate, but I've always looked at this song to point towards civil rights and segregation. The line "they'll stone you when you're trying to keep your seat" makes me think of Rosa Parks (even though that was about 10 years earlier)...
I never thought the literal meaning had to do with drugs. It's a
historical/Biblical term, right? Nobody else can "stone" someone with
drugs. Its accusation, judgement, punishment, right?
.02

 

[AR182]

Wow, Wareagle that is a very deep analysis of that song.To tell you the truth I never really listened to the exact words of any Dylan song.Most of the time I had trouble understanding what he was saying.All I know is that I had a friend who actually sung this song at weddings.He used to mumble all the words except the part about "everybody lets get stoned".And we took what Dylan meant was to get stoned.It was the late 60's,early 70's when most of my friends were getting married.That was a time when people were preaching sex,drugs,& rock and roll.

When FatDaddy was asking what he should do for his friends wedding,it brought back "the good old days".

BTW,you are probably right about your interpretation of the song.

 

[skulldog]

How about "I like my woman a little on the Trashy side ", I don't know who sings it though.

GL fat daddy

 

[Bluemound Freak]

How bout

I wanna be Sedated


The Ramones


It has nothing to do with a wedding or relatively anything else in life but damn it sure is fun to get Fuhked Up aint it?