I'm not Drunk...

taoist

The Sage
Forum Member
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cabinet and my girlfriend insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else.... After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank....

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank....

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank....

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank....

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass....

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour....

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.... :moon:
 

BreakaLeg

Registered User
Forum Member
Mar 19, 2002
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Funny stuff, it's actually easier to read when you're drunk.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
than a frontal lobotomy:rolleyes:
 

wareagle

World Traveler
Forum Member
Feb 27, 2001
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MEMPHIS, TN
www.dunavant.com
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drank I
feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about
the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and
dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver." --by Jack Handy
> >> > > > >
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake
up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all day. --Frank Sinatra
> >> > > > >
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk
to spend time with fools. --Ernest Hemingway
> >> > > > >
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading. --Henny Youngman
> >> > > > >
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
> >> > > > > --Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we
fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's
all get drunk and go to heaven! -- Brian O'Rourke
> >> > > > >
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy. --Benjamin Franklin (my favorite)
Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > > Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

> >> > > > > Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

> >> > > > > To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
 

Theboundbook

Registered User
Forum Member
Jan 16, 2002
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Salt Lake City, Utah
Breakaleg:

That's quoted from a "profound wizard" on "Exestential Blues", God thanks for the trip down memory lane of crazy shi* from Dr. Demento Show. Cool. :confused:
 
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