It's their world, we're just along for the ride

[Chain Saw]

You want proof!

My wife's niece gave birth this past weekend to a healthy baby boy. :clap:

After the birth the nurses clean the kid up and present him to his mother to see if he'll breast feed.

He apparently wasn't ready for this so he didn't do anything. The nurse takes the child, lays him on his stomach and crams a rectal thermometer up his ass. moon1

Then she rolls him over, grabs his teeny balls to make sure they are okay. Apparently, this didn't go over very well with the little fellow. :cursin:

So this is how life starts. They pop a big boob in front of you, then snatch it away, stick you in the ass and then squeeze the nuts.

Get used to it kid. This won't be the last time it happens to you. :nutkick

 

[THE KOD]

:lol: :lol:

 

[Mjolnir]

sounds tough. for some people this is a daily ritual.

 

[IntenseOperator]

They say you know from birth if you are gay or not

 

[Fat & Sassy]

They say you know from birth if you are gay or not

:142lmao:

IO,

So what are you saying?.... :142lmao: :142lmao:

Just lay a 10" latex dildo in the boys crib and give up because he didn't immediately breast feed...

Give the young lade a chance... He's just spent 9 months up a woo woo...

 

[Chain Saw]

I wasn't trying to imply that the little guy was going to be a goober smoocher. The implication is that life can be cruel at times.

You go from having a boob in your face to being kicked in the groin.

I apologize for not doing a better job of expressing what I was trying to convey. :nutkick

 

[Chanman]

So this is how life starts. They pop a big boob in front of you, then snatch it away, stick you in the ass and then squeeze the nuts. :142lmao:
good post Chain Saw.

How would you feel if you won the lottery?


I mean a really big one, like 100 million or so?


Pretty good huh?


That's what I thought.

If you won 100 million that would undoubtedly make your day.
It won't make your life but I will admit, it will do a pretty
good job of making your day.

It would be hard to convince anyone that you weren't very
fortunate if you won a big lottery.


Which prize is greater, money or life?


Do you know how many sperm are released from the average male
during the act of procreation?

Approximately 300 million sperm are released.
Only one fertilizes the egg.
Each sperm will produce a different person with different
characteristics.

300 million sperm compete in a race to fertilize the egg.

The one that wins makes the baby.

You won.

Out of 300 million, you won.

You got life.

The lottery has odds of around fifty something million to one.
You won a race with odds of 300 million to one.

You won a greater prize than money in a race with greater odds
than the lottery.

You won life.

Studies have shown that most big lottery winners aren't as happy
five years later. I have a friend that knew two people who won
over 50 million dollar lotteries. I asked my friend, were your
friends happier before they won or now?

My friend paused in deep thought as they compared in their minds
their friends before and after their big win.

"They were happier before they won,"
my friend replied.

I know countless that have won the prize of life.

Unfortunately, they, like the big lottery winners,
often end up sad.

The thing about life. . .
Not only did you win the initial race,
each morning that you wake up you've won again.

Don't be like ! the typical big lottery winner.

Celebrate the win.

Celebrate the day.

Recognize the prize.

Each day.

 

[IntenseOperator]

Good post Chan :kiss:

But I have too ask...

Studies have shown that most big lottery winners aren't as happy
five years later. .

Where do I sign up? :idea:

 

[dawgball]

This thread is one of the funniest on this board in a while.

Great one liners!

I wasn't trying to imply that the little guy was going to be a goober smoocher.

:142lmao:

 

[Mjolnir]

I'm already unhappy, can i have my money now. what about reparations for 38 year old white guys from Texas.

 

[Chanman]

Yeah I know what you mean. It does sound like a crock. Wouldn't it be a b*tch to have to worry about life after winning the lottery? I always heard it said like this..."Life is a sh*t sandwich son. The more bread you have, the less sh*t you gotta eat!"