Usually I'm not a fan of Tony KornDog, but this tidbit off the Washington post got my funny bone:
At Camp Marty, What a Difference A Year Makes
By Tony Kornheiser (Washington Post)
Last year at this time there was so much buzz around the Redskins that The Danny showed up at practice wearing a beekeeper's hat. Okay, that's not quite true -- he made Vinny Cerrato wear the beekeeper's hat. Okay, that isn't true, either. I just said it to remind you of the good, old days of 2000, when practice cost 10 bucks a head, and parking cost 10 bucks a car and Dan Snyder attempted to bring you The Greatest Show On Earth.
Snyder rolled out the burgundy and gold carpet for Deion Sanders (who actually had part of the carpet crafted into a suit), Mark Carrier, Adrian Murrell, Jeff George and Bruce Smith in a glorious, quixotic charge to bring the Super Bowl to Washington quick -- before all those guys became AARP members. Last year, The Danny had everyone in town, beginning with Wilbon, talking Super Bowl. Unfortunately, it was all talk and no walk. Oh, sure, some people walked. But it was out the door.
This year, the Redskins couldn't be more low-key if they lived in a basement apartment. All the buzz in town is about Jagr and Jordan playing on alternate nights at MCI Center; the only big-deal Redskins story lately was negative -- Deion's "retirement." (This has to be killing The Danny. He loves ink. Whenever there's a lull in Yankees stories in the New York papers, George Steinbrenner does something dramatic, like fire his manager. Who can The Danny fire? Nobody. He's already fired everybody!) You know that slogan, "When you're out of town, you're out of town"? Well, the Redskins *are* out of town. The good news is, you can see them practice for free. The bad news is, you have to drive 130 miles to do it.
Let's say you do go to Carlisle to watch practice; you won't just need a scorecard to know the players, you'll need the NFL Encyclopedia. Radioactive uranium has been more stable than the Redskins. Look at this list of key players from last year's team who are gone now: Larry Centers, Keith Sims, Irving Fryar, Albert Connell, Brad Johnson, Tre Johnson, James Thrash, Mark Carrier, Skip Hicks, Adrian Murrell, Derek Smith, Dana Stubblefield, Ndukwe Kalu and My Man Deion. (And by the way, Deion absolutely murdered the Redskins. Talk about exit laughing, the only thing Deion didn't get on the way out was a pair of club seats and the blue parking. Deion pocketed $8 million for one season, and he'll go right into a broadcast booth. Plus, as time goes on, and the Redskins stew as they realize they've gotten nothing for Deion, they'll set him free for cash, and Deion will end up playing in the NFL again. Maybe even this season. My sense is that the Redskins will miss Deion more than! t! hey're inclined to admit now. He was no worse than their second-best cornerback behind Champ Bailey, and Bailey is a Pro Bowler. I know I'll miss My Man. Where am I going to find a gold-mine quote machine like Deion? Who on this team is going to talk like him and dress like him? Surely not the new coach. Marty, can we talk? That straw hat has to go. Seriously, you look like a tourist at Jurassic Park.)
Nowhere is the turnover more drastic than on the coaching staff. Marty Schottenheimer has employed so many friends and family I'm surprised they're not wearing "Schottenheimer Reunion 2001" shirts. Schottenheimer brought in his cronies from Cleveland and Kansas City: Jimmy Raye, Mike Stock, brother Kurt Schottenheimer, son Brian Schottenheimer, Joe Pendry, Richard Mann and Greg Manusky. (Apparently to help with execution, Marty hired Tony Soprano. Whoops, I'm sorry, I meant Tony Sparano.)
My point here is this is Camp Marty. He picked the coaches, he's picking the players, he's calling the shots. All power is concentrated in Marty's hands. All of us are on the outside looking in this year. Everyone knows the owner thought Norv Turner was wishy-washy, that Norv didn't take command, that he wasn't forceful enough. So the owner brought in a guy with a chest full of medals. And let the record show that so far that owner hasn't said boo, even as Marty has remade the Redskins into something generic and faceless.
There's no sizzle on this team yet; with Deion gone there's no glamourpuss. And judging by last year I'd have thought that wasn't The Danny's style. But in conversations I've had with Snyder over time, he has always proclaimed the utmost confidence in Schottenheimer. I'd express skepticism over releasing one guy or another, and Snyder would enthusiastically say, "We're going to surprise you and everyone else. You'll see. This guy is a great coach."
From a distance that seems to be what it's all about -- can Marty Schottenheimer make chicken salad here? If he puts in a defense like the one he had in Kansas City, LaVar Arrington could become a star in a hurry. Arrington is more powerful and as explosive as Derrick Thomas, and Schottenheimer's defense in Kansas City was designed to let Thomas roam free. Schottenheimer could say, "Champ, you cover the best receiver. LaVar, you get the quarterback. And the rest of you guys, help out." Hmmm, that might work.
History shows that on offense Schottenheimer prefers ball control. He likes to run often, and to throw short and medium passes. Stephen Davis and Stephen Alexander should benefit from that. (Schottenheimer has never been a "go long" guy, which makes sense here since the only veteran wide receiver, Michael Westbrook, has been unavailable so often, his uniform number should be unlisted.) The obvious question is whether Jeff George, who loves to throw deep, is the right quarterback for that system.
So the Redskins go into training camp an unknown quantity, with many more questions than answers. Just for fun, let me propose two records, 4-12 and 12-4, and ask you to choose the one you think will come closer to what the Redskins end up with this season. The fact is we're all just guessing. Right now nobody in this city, including Wilbon, knows which is a better bet.
At Camp Marty, What a Difference A Year Makes
By Tony Kornheiser (Washington Post)
Last year at this time there was so much buzz around the Redskins that The Danny showed up at practice wearing a beekeeper's hat. Okay, that's not quite true -- he made Vinny Cerrato wear the beekeeper's hat. Okay, that isn't true, either. I just said it to remind you of the good, old days of 2000, when practice cost 10 bucks a head, and parking cost 10 bucks a car and Dan Snyder attempted to bring you The Greatest Show On Earth.
Snyder rolled out the burgundy and gold carpet for Deion Sanders (who actually had part of the carpet crafted into a suit), Mark Carrier, Adrian Murrell, Jeff George and Bruce Smith in a glorious, quixotic charge to bring the Super Bowl to Washington quick -- before all those guys became AARP members. Last year, The Danny had everyone in town, beginning with Wilbon, talking Super Bowl. Unfortunately, it was all talk and no walk. Oh, sure, some people walked. But it was out the door.
This year, the Redskins couldn't be more low-key if they lived in a basement apartment. All the buzz in town is about Jagr and Jordan playing on alternate nights at MCI Center; the only big-deal Redskins story lately was negative -- Deion's "retirement." (This has to be killing The Danny. He loves ink. Whenever there's a lull in Yankees stories in the New York papers, George Steinbrenner does something dramatic, like fire his manager. Who can The Danny fire? Nobody. He's already fired everybody!) You know that slogan, "When you're out of town, you're out of town"? Well, the Redskins *are* out of town. The good news is, you can see them practice for free. The bad news is, you have to drive 130 miles to do it.
Let's say you do go to Carlisle to watch practice; you won't just need a scorecard to know the players, you'll need the NFL Encyclopedia. Radioactive uranium has been more stable than the Redskins. Look at this list of key players from last year's team who are gone now: Larry Centers, Keith Sims, Irving Fryar, Albert Connell, Brad Johnson, Tre Johnson, James Thrash, Mark Carrier, Skip Hicks, Adrian Murrell, Derek Smith, Dana Stubblefield, Ndukwe Kalu and My Man Deion. (And by the way, Deion absolutely murdered the Redskins. Talk about exit laughing, the only thing Deion didn't get on the way out was a pair of club seats and the blue parking. Deion pocketed $8 million for one season, and he'll go right into a broadcast booth. Plus, as time goes on, and the Redskins stew as they realize they've gotten nothing for Deion, they'll set him free for cash, and Deion will end up playing in the NFL again. Maybe even this season. My sense is that the Redskins will miss Deion more than! t! hey're inclined to admit now. He was no worse than their second-best cornerback behind Champ Bailey, and Bailey is a Pro Bowler. I know I'll miss My Man. Where am I going to find a gold-mine quote machine like Deion? Who on this team is going to talk like him and dress like him? Surely not the new coach. Marty, can we talk? That straw hat has to go. Seriously, you look like a tourist at Jurassic Park.)
Nowhere is the turnover more drastic than on the coaching staff. Marty Schottenheimer has employed so many friends and family I'm surprised they're not wearing "Schottenheimer Reunion 2001" shirts. Schottenheimer brought in his cronies from Cleveland and Kansas City: Jimmy Raye, Mike Stock, brother Kurt Schottenheimer, son Brian Schottenheimer, Joe Pendry, Richard Mann and Greg Manusky. (Apparently to help with execution, Marty hired Tony Soprano. Whoops, I'm sorry, I meant Tony Sparano.)
My point here is this is Camp Marty. He picked the coaches, he's picking the players, he's calling the shots. All power is concentrated in Marty's hands. All of us are on the outside looking in this year. Everyone knows the owner thought Norv Turner was wishy-washy, that Norv didn't take command, that he wasn't forceful enough. So the owner brought in a guy with a chest full of medals. And let the record show that so far that owner hasn't said boo, even as Marty has remade the Redskins into something generic and faceless.
There's no sizzle on this team yet; with Deion gone there's no glamourpuss. And judging by last year I'd have thought that wasn't The Danny's style. But in conversations I've had with Snyder over time, he has always proclaimed the utmost confidence in Schottenheimer. I'd express skepticism over releasing one guy or another, and Snyder would enthusiastically say, "We're going to surprise you and everyone else. You'll see. This guy is a great coach."
From a distance that seems to be what it's all about -- can Marty Schottenheimer make chicken salad here? If he puts in a defense like the one he had in Kansas City, LaVar Arrington could become a star in a hurry. Arrington is more powerful and as explosive as Derrick Thomas, and Schottenheimer's defense in Kansas City was designed to let Thomas roam free. Schottenheimer could say, "Champ, you cover the best receiver. LaVar, you get the quarterback. And the rest of you guys, help out." Hmmm, that might work.
History shows that on offense Schottenheimer prefers ball control. He likes to run often, and to throw short and medium passes. Stephen Davis and Stephen Alexander should benefit from that. (Schottenheimer has never been a "go long" guy, which makes sense here since the only veteran wide receiver, Michael Westbrook, has been unavailable so often, his uniform number should be unlisted.) The obvious question is whether Jeff George, who loves to throw deep, is the right quarterback for that system.
So the Redskins go into training camp an unknown quantity, with many more questions than answers. Just for fun, let me propose two records, 4-12 and 12-4, and ask you to choose the one you think will come closer to what the Redskins end up with this season. The fact is we're all just guessing. Right now nobody in this city, including Wilbon, knows which is a better bet.
