E-Z MONEY$$$: 9-1-1
BRONX OPERATOR: Hello and thank you for calling the bronx 911 emergency service. (recording) Due to the high call volume we are experience, you may experience a lengthy delay.
E-Z MONEY$$$: GOD DAMMIT, never a cop when you need one. (screaming to self) I cannot believe i won money on the moneyline and the over (unposted), but I still cannot let this runline go:
BRONX OPERATOR: (After 20 minutes of 50cent music) What can I do you for:
E-Z MONEY$$$: Yes, I'd like to report a burglary.
BRONX OPERATOR: What was burglarized.
E-Z MONEY$$$: My pocketbook, $200 was taken and that amounts to a $400 swing.
BRONX OPERATOR: Where did this occur?
E-Z MONEY$$$: I was on my couch screaming at the damn tv set.
BRONX OPERATOR: Did you get a look at the suspects?
E-Z MONEY$$$: Yeah, one was a 6'0" fraud impersonating a lefty pitcher who goes by the name of sterling.
BRONX OPERATOR: Sterling, is this some kind of gay joke??
E-Z MONEY$$$: He probably is, but thats not the point. There was also another guy who stole it. Some dude Mariano something or other. Used to be a real big shot in the community, but now should be cleaning up garbage. I can pick him out in a line-up, he has a dead arm.
BRONX OPERATOR: Was anyone else involved with this alleged crime?
E-Z MONEY$$$: First off, its not alleged, the crime was broadcast on espn today. Yeah, that fag who used to date mariah carey. Jeter or something or other. He was documented in sports illustrated about having the worst range at shortstop in the history of baseball.
BRONX OPERATOR: We will do everything in our power to try and find your money, but I'm sure that it is gone.
E-Z MONEY$$$: Yeah, probably, but I want you to arrest them anyway. Then use the firing squad on them. Except for hitchdick, he can be electrecuted. Thanks for your time.
BRONX OPERATOR: Word.............
