LENT

[hogman14]

A Catholic fellow and a Jewish fellow were discussing their religious traditions, specifically atonement and sacrifice, Yom Kippur versus Lent. The Jewish fellow asked the Catholic fellow what he?d given up for Lent that year.

The Catholic fellow said, ?This year, my wife and I agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice?we gave up sex.?

?Wow!? said the Jewish fellow, ?How did it go??

?The first week, we felt pretty good and holy about it,? replied the Catholic fellow. ?The second week was really hard, and by the third week?well, we didn?t make it. One morning, my wife bent over to pick up a grapefruit that had rolled onto the floor, and that was it. Right then and there.?

?Sounds serious,? said the Jewish fellow. ?Can you go back to church after something like that??

?Oh, there?s no problem going back to church,? answered the Catholic fellow. ?But I don?t think we?ll be returning to that particular Safeway.?

 

[hogman14]

This blond got married on Ash Wednesday. On the first day of their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Because it's Lent." Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to and for how long?"

 

[hogman14]

A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an
undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.

The guy says, "We'll ship her home."

The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."

The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't
take that chance."

 

[dunclock]

:mj07:

 

[Woodson]

When asked this morning in a neeting what I was giving up, I replied on a buddy returning a 9-iron...

 

[Nole]

When asked this morning in a meeting what I was giving up, I replied, "On a buddy returning a 9-iron"...

Cleaned it up for you Woody cuz that is some funny shit!!!


:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:


I laughed out loud here in the Denver lounge as I'm waiting for my flight to Reno. People just looked at me like, "WTF?"

Awesome!






.

 

[Woodson]

Cleaned it up for you Woody cuz that is some funny shit!!!


:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:


I laughed out loud here in the Denver lounge as I'm waiting for my flight to Reno. People just looked at me like, "WTF?"

Awesome!






.

Have a great time Chris.

 

[Nole]

Have a great time Chris.

10:30 here but 12:30 in Knoxville. Cocktail too early?


Naw............I don't think so!!!!

Road trip!!!


Man, beautiful day in Denver!


Hope Reno is this nice.


Thanks Woody. I needed this trip!


:toast:



.

 

[freelancc]

?Oh, there?s no problem going back to church,? answered the Catholic fellow. ?But I don?t think we?ll be returning to that particular Safeway.?

:lol: :lol:

 

[Another Steve]

Found some in my pocket