Like, moo

[Cow]

'Twas the night before Christmas
And I really think
That the only thing stirring
Was the straw in my drink

As I studied my numbers
For the next day's football
By the chimney a sweat sock
Hung alone on the wall

 

[Agent 0659]

HUH??
WTF??
:wall: :wall: :wall:

 

[The Judge]

Merry Christmas Cow. Good to see you're well!

 

[Agent 0659]

Jack is this you fuking around?

 

[Agent 0659]

This could be the best present in a long time!

 

[MadJack]

it's the real guy.

welcome back, unholyone!!

merry christmas

 

[IntenseOperator]

This is like the tease at the start of a concert :clap:

Lay it on us Cow!

 

[Agent 0659]

No fuking way!! And now I gotta go out of town till Monday :cursin: :cursin: :cursin: Cow is back and Im leaving :s4: Im gonna have to introduce the In-laws to Madjacks I guess

 

[BobbyBlueChip]

". . . unload on the Oregon Ducks"

 

[Cow]

A hooker named Vixen
Was asleep in my bed
She'd danced in my pants
Until Stanley was dead

When up on the roof
I heard a loud noise
I wondered was it a thief
Or was it one of the boys

 

[Cow]

Si I rushed toward the window
And looked up toward the sky
And what should I see but this freakin' fat guy

 

[Cow]

With a red suit and boots
That came up to his knees
I was boozed, but I swear it was Dom Deluise

 

[Cow]

He had a big sleigh bein' pulled by reindeer
He called one of 'em Dancer, so I assumed he was queer

 

[Cow]

Then all of a sudden it became clear to me
That son of a bitch planned to lift my TV

Over his shoulder he had a big sack
As he crept cross my roof I planned my attack
I patiently waited 'til the timing seemed ripe
Then Whack! On the head. Botta Bing with a pipe

He fell to the floor with a groan anda thud
I was kinda surprised that I didn't see blood
Instead, he rolled over, looked me in the eye
When I seen who I whacked, I near started to cry

Shit! Sorry Santa! Will you be all right?
He just call me some names and said, "This ain't my night."

I got lost outside Philly, damn near hit some nun
Got jacked near Detroit, Comet's got the runs

I've Been working all night, really bustin' my hump
Now I can't continue, feel the size of this lump!

 

[Cow]

He said, "I'll never make it. It's up to you now.
You've gotta take over, gotta be Santa Cow!"
I screamed, "You're effin' crazy! Find someone sober to ask!"
He just winked as he took a long pull off his flask
Then he made me an offer that I couldn't refuse,
He said, "Visit each house... except for the Jews."

 

[Cow]

Finally getting the message, I climbed into his suit,
Put my smokes in a pocket and a pint in a boot
I was off in a hurry, didn't wanna be late
While Nick spent the night hosin' my date

Yeah, that night I was Santa, bringin' kids joy and bliss
And if you don't believe me, hey! Jingle this!

Since then every Christmas, I'm out there in the cold
Riding shotgun with Santa, because he's fat and he's old.

 

[bohawk]

IT`s Xmas

IT`s Xmas

It`s Xmas "I Didn`t Miss It"! The "BEST OF THE
BEST" is Back! THE COW MAN Has Come Back
To Mad Jack. :mj14: :clap: :mj14: :clap:
Missed `ya COW

 

[Clem D]

Simply priceless

 

[bear]

Oh holy "Cow"
The stars are brightly shining
It is the dawn of the "Cow pie's"
Re birth........

Hey Cow........good to see ya back

bear

 

[Cow]

Yes, I'm Santa's assistant, his number one guy
So on this Christmas Eve don't you be surprised
If you hear a voice say in between some loud moos
"Merry Christmas to alllayuz... Hey! Where's my booze?"