Magic Beer

[Shataken]

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking
> guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and
> asks him what he is drinking. Magic Beer he says.
> She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around
> the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else
> worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the
> bar and says, That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?
> Yes, I'll show you. He takes a drink of the beer,
> jumps out the window, flies around the building three
> times and comes back in the window. The lady can't
> believe it: I bet you can't do that again.
> He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window,
> flies round the building three times, and comes back
> in the window.
>
> She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer,
> so the guy says to the bartender, Give her one of
> what I'm having. She gets her drink, takes a gulp of
> the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories,
> breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender
> looks up at the guy and says, You know, Superman,
> you're a real a$$hole when you're drunk.

 

[IntenseOperator]

Melvin wakes up one Sunday morning, calls his guy Vinnie and says,
"Favre is on fire, and I just KNOW the Pack will KILL the Lions
today, even though they're playing in Detroit. Lemme lay the 7 1/2
with Green Bay, and I'll put five dimes on it." The Lions hang tough,
and lose by a field goal in OT.

Melvin calls Vinnie back and goes, "%$#! Forget football. The NCLS
is going on. What do you have on the Braves and Maddux?"

Vinnie says, "Maddux is +125 on the road against the Giants."

Melvin says, "That's found money. The Braves are a lock. Let me
get five dimes on Maddux, and I'll be more than even for the day."

The Braves lose 12-1.

"%$#! I can't believe this. I gotta Vinnie back to get even. I know
it's only the second week of the season, but I'll bet some hoops"
So he calls Vinnie back and says, "Let me get the Lakers minus the
3 1/2 against Sacramento for ten dimes. The Lakers always kill Sac
at home." The Lakers run the clock out and win by three.

Melvin calls Vinnie after the Laker game. "I need a bailout game. You got anything going late?"

Vinny tells him, "The Canucks and Stars will be playing in thirty minutes."

Melvin says, "Hockey? What in the hell do I know about Hockey?"