(mans best friend,my arse)

beantownjim

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who ever said that mans best friend is his dog hasnt met my little cocker spanial poodle mix.this dog is 20 pounds of trouble and if my wife wasnt such a good catholic i think i might be packing my bags and getting a divorce by now.this dog is trying to ruin me and my relationship with my wife he wants her attention all the time.guys dont get me wrong i like this dog when we are alone but as soon as my wife gets home its like there married im watching t.v. in the other room and i hear hi puppy mommys home are you hungry boy let mommy get you something to eat i love you and shes not talking to me after that i say dear can i have that piece of steak and some mashed potatoes from last night she says no i gave it to the dog all i have for you is a 6 month old t.v. dinner.i havnt had a t.v. dinner in 20 years now that we have the dog im eating them 3 days a week while my dog eats gourmet meals im being treated like the dog in this family.this dog is taking over as head of the house you will love this one boys my wife always goes to bed early she works in the mornings i usually stay up late and watch howard stern so when i go to bed at midnight the dog is always sleeping next to her on my pillow i say what the f-ck is going on here so i go to move mans best friend and he starts to growl at me and hes pissed because i woke him up guys my lovely wife of 10 years wakes up while we are fighting and sides with the dog she tells me to go sleep on the couch can you believe this bullshit.our sex life is down to nothing my wife says she cant do anything with the dog in the room watching now im not like hugh hefner i dont need sex all the time but once every 10 days or so would be nice.i can live with this dog eating my steak and ruining my sex life but what he does when im watching t.v. i cant handle and i might snap real soon do you know what this little shit does i love to channel surf and look for shows i like this little bastard grabs the remote controll and runs under the couch and hides when i get close to him to grab the remote he bolts to the bedroom and my lovely wife yells at me for waking her up.i know this dog is trying to get me thrown out of the house so he can have my wife to himself but its not going to work because as of tomorrow im going to put my foot down with this little bastard they call mans best friend.yes im going to give him a good kick in his :moon: you got it boys a kick in the arse.BEANTOWNJIM
 

buddy

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Beaner,

Talk to "chopsticks."

I think he has a solution to your problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Beaner,

Also want you to know I was the first person to vote in "The BeantownJim Challenge" and I voted that you would have a winning % after 60 games.

Now with this Fido thing, I don't want any excuses like, "I had Peter Gammons on the phone and just as he was about to give me two winners, Fido started barking and I couldn't hear what Peter was saying. All I heard was, "Goodbye, Jim. Good Luck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't want any lame excuses because of Fido.
 

THE KOD

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bean

you sound to me like you are really f....king with that dogs life. Havnt you ever heard of cruelty to animals ?


Scott-Atlanta
 
B

Billy

Guest
I bet if you take little Fe Fe down to the vet and have his nuts
removed..........his attitude may change somewhat.......and who
knows, the old lady may want a new dog......:shrug:
 

NickiD

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What u can learn from a Dog...

What u can learn from a Dog...

Maybe these thoughts will help you move up to at least the same status as your pooch... :D


Dogs were put on this earth to remind us how humans, in the best of all possible worlds, should behave.Dogs exhibit qualities that we can only aspire to: beaty, grace, simplicity, athleticism, good humor, and kindness; True they will roll in the corpse of a rotting dead frog it that frog presents itself, but nobody's perfect.

9 Things we can learn from Dogs.

1. It doesn't matter if you saw your friend 5 years or 5 minutes ago. Greet him with the same degree of enthusiasm.

2. When you've done something wrong, have the decency to at least look guilty.

3. If you are going to eat a slice, you might as well eat the whole cake.

4. The correct answer to "Want to go out?" is always "yes".

5. There is no such thing as garbage.

6. If someone who usually treats you well shouts at you now and again, don't sulk to long.

7. Checking out the butts of others, not so wrong.

8. Do everything like you mean it.

9. Always be prepared to fetch shoes for a loved one. Its the little favors in this world that people remember.
 

Chopsticks

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Feb 15, 2002
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beanman

beanman

buddy is right, let me have your dog. With many o' BBQs to be done this summer, I might have a place for your dog. It can either be basted with BBQ sauce or grilled with some lemon pepper. Either way, it'll be put to good use. Us Asians make the real "hot dogs." LOL!!!!
 

yyz

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Mar 16, 2000
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Re: What u can learn from a Dog...

Re: What u can learn from a Dog...

NickiD said:

Dogs were put on this earth to remind us how humans, in the best of all possible worlds, should behave.

Can I hump your leg?

.....and please. Don't yell at me when I lick my nuts!
 

NickiD

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What we can learn from dogs......

What we can learn from dogs......

AR182 - If you follow up #7 with #2 that will help keep you out of trouble........... (LOL)



YYZ ....if you CAN lick your ....... you are a talented man and might let you hump my leg...........
;)

Hope everybody has a great weekend!
 

parlayinn

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Mar 15, 2001
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hey beaner, put some peanut butter on your nutsack...man's best friend will lick it off and it'll feel real nice...hopefully it'll make up for the sex he's takin away from you, and he'll probably have more stamina than your "lovely wife" :)
 
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