Memo from Osama

[phar lap]

FROM: Bin Laden, Osama.
TO: All Al Qaeda Fighters.
SUBJECT: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
First of all: While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster - have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the Halal toaster/griller).
Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the hell out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wasssuuup' thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Bega cheese recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Today, two of my Bega slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. And Please - do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy. Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys there is a grey area).
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soliders in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore

 

[kosar]

Good laugh.

 

[Keith 1]

being from New York, and having lost more than one person that I knew in the 9/11 attacks, this does not seem particularly funny to me.

 

[kosar]

You don't have much of a sense of humor, do you, guy? First you whine about Beantown and get his post moved and him to leave and now this.

It's a parody and I don't think disrespectful to anybody.

Lighten up, Francis.

 

[Keith 1]

You don't have much of a sense of humor, do you, guy? First you whine about Beantown and get his post moved and him to leave and now this.

It's a parody and I don't think disrespectful to anybody.

Lighten up, Francis.

dude--NOTHING about 9/11 was or will ever be funny. Says something that you think it is.

As for Beantown, I just pointed out the obvious. I didn't get him banned, and I certainly didn't ask him to leave. He did that on his own. He wants to spew his ridiculous nonsense and you want to lap it up--be my guest.

 

[kosar]

dude--NOTHING about 9/11 was or will ever be funny. Says something that you think it is.

As for Beantown, I just pointed out the obvious. I didn't get him banned, and I certainly didn't ask him to leave. He did that on his own. He wants to spew his ridiculous nonsense and you want to lap it up--be my guest.

Oh, I didn't realize it was about 9/11, or even mentioned it. Sorry. I guess your blood pressure doubles whenever you see those joke pictures/videos/whatever of Bin Laden with his head super-imposed on whatever.

You got all excited that Beantown used the word 'Jew' and you equated it with the 'N' word. Isn't 'Jew' the normal way that Jewish people are referred to? If not, then i'd like to hear what is the proper way to refer to them.

You're just hyper-sensitive. No big deal.

 

[Keith 1]

Oh, I didn't realize it was about 9/11, or even mentioned it. Sorry. I guess your blood pressure doubles whenever you see those joke pictures/videos/whatever of Bin Laden with his head super-imposed on whatever.

You got all excited that Beantown used the word 'Jew' and you equated it with the 'N' word. Isn't 'Jew' the normal way that Jewish people are referred to? If not, then i'd like to hear what is the proper way to refer to them.

You're just hyper-sensitive. No big deal.

If you don't equate Osama Bin Laden with 9/11, I don't think there is anything I can say to change your mind.

As for Jim's comments, I wasn't gonna get into it, but you insist, so here goes. First of all, it was not the fact that he referred to someone who is Jewish as a Jew. What was offensive was how he REPEATEDLY went out of his way to emphasize how his JEW lawyer did this, and his JEW lawyer did that. What did his lawyer's religion have to do with him pulling some accident scam and him not being able to pull the wool over a Judge's eyes ? It was the JEW lawyer's fault that he took advances on his credit card (or that he was gonna lie to his wife about it) ???

The use of the word JEW as an adjective and in the pejorative and insulting sense that it was used was what was wrong with it--not the fact that someone who was Jewish was referred to as a JEW.

I haven't been on this site for as long as you--or many others here. I was not aware that this was apparently routine for Jim, and that people just sort of look the other way. I'm not going to apologize that I didn't. I will be sure however not to even bother going into any of his threads in the future (assuming he reverses his holier-than-thou and SELF-IMPOSED ban).

 

[kosar]

Jim is a retired steelworker from Local 714. He owns rental properties and dreams about having wild sex with a black lady someday. He has a lovely wife and he is good friends with Peter Gammons and also with the owner of Legal Seafood, Roger Berkowitz.

He feuds with his Russian neighbor Yuri about snow on his property and once got his lawnmower stolen by a young black gentleman.

Does that sound like someone who has a prejudiced bone in his body?

 

[GM]

You forgot to add....HE WILL NEVER FORGET THE TIME CASCADE RIPPED HIM OFF FOR 660 BUCKS. THANK GOD THOSE CROOKS ARE OUT OF BUSINESS.

Oh, and also don't forget, he ALWAYS SLEEPS WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE THE COVERS SO HE ISN'T TEMPTED TO TOUCH HIS WEINER.

If you're offended by this, let me assure you it will only get worse. :lol:

 

[Keith 1]

You forgot to add....HE WILL NEVER FORGET THE TIME CASCADE RIPPED HIM OFF FOR 660 BUCKS. THANK GOD THOSE CROOKS ARE OUT OF BUSINESS.

Oh, and also don't forget, he ALWAYS SLEEPS WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE THE COVERS SO HE ISN'T TEMPTED TO TOUCH HIS WEINER.

If you're offended by this, let me assure you it will only get worse. :lol:

all I can say is I had no idea as to the charachter we are dealing with. Now I know.

 

[phar lap]

being from New York, and having lost more than one person that I knew in the 9/11 attacks, this does not seem particularly funny to me.

Stop carrying on like a two bob watch. It was a gag about this idiot hiding in cave. Nothing else.

I have a few tsunami gags that would may be more to your taste (like the recent surfing competition that was won in contreversial circumstances by an Indonesian arriving on top of a sofa).

 

[MadJack]

like the recent surfing competition that was won in contreversial circumstances by an Indonesian arriving on top of a sofa).

:142smilie :142smilie

 

[Englishman]

Phar Lap - Very funny, do you have any more of them?

Hey Keith - I was injured at the WTC on 9/11 and lost a few very close friends.....that's makes the "victims of 9/11 outrage" even in this thread since I found the first post here very funny. Personally, if I could get hold of that hairy cunt OBL I'd like to watch you go and clean up after I'm finished with him. I meet with people nearly evey day to have to live with the enormity of his actions every day, and they would find this funny.

Plus, leave BTJ alone. If his posts offend you don't read them you ****ing twat!!!

 

[Keith 1]

Phar Lap - Very funny, do you have any more of them?

Hey Keith - I was injured at the WTC on 9/11 and lost a few very close friends.....that's makes the "victims of 9/11 outrage" even in this thread since I found the first post here very funny. Personally, if I could get hold of that hairy cunt OBL I'd like to watch you go and clean up after I'm finished with him. I meet with people nearly evey day to have to live with the enormity of his actions every day, and they would find this funny.

Plus, leave BTJ alone. If his posts offend you don't read them you ****ing twat!!!

Whoa--a rocket scientist here. "F" you too buddy.