... Want My _ _ _ _ _
Hey! Howya dooin??
I was talkin? with Snacks last night and the subject rolled around to summa the guys what we don?t see no more. When out of the freakin? blue I go all goosepimply, ya see what I?m sayin?? I mean, I gotta huge whiffa that d?j? vu crap all of a sudden and frankly, I don?t dig on French stuff at all.
Now I ain?t no psycho therapist or nuthin? (although I was labeled ?Psycho the Rapist? once by a drunk Indian chick that had no proof whatsoever), but I think it has to do with repressed feelings regarding my inability to maintain them long-term relationships that you sometimes hear about. I mean, if you?ve known me for five years, you?re either family or you? well? if we?re still talkin?, you?re family. By the way, how long have we known each other, Jack? I notice you ain?t been very? never mind, man. I?m gettin? paranoid is all. But still?
"You know, Cow, it seems like people either love you or hate you." A guy named Pinky Roberts pointed out this great revelation to me several years ago. It was as obvious as steer horns on a Cadillac, but Pinky was the first person what ever said it to me out loud. Man, that guy loved me. He can?t stand me now, though.
So anyway, I?ve been thinkin? about it and I?ve come up with some ideas of a conclusionary nature. Basically, I think that the inevitable evolution of all my relationships, whether it be with guys or dolls, is a cyclical thing, which I figure can best be summed up with a simple five-point formula. To wit:
1) Cow's an asshole.
2) You know, once you get so you can understand him, he ain?t that bad.
3) I freakin' love that guy!
4) You know, I'm not too sure about him anymore.
5) Cow's an asshole.
So, like the shark, I?m constantly searching for new meat. In Bovinia, nothing is constant but change, ya savvy? Well, that and clich?s.
As you can see, all my life I've had to keep meeting new people, making new friends and finding new ?dates,? because the old ones always eventually turned on me. Fortunately, the world has conspired to make finding these new acquaintances easier for me. I mean, during the 70s, it was free love. And during the 80s? Personal ads were hot. The 90s acourse brought email and then in the new century it became... well? Hey! Howya dooin??
Them Personal Ads were the best, though. Even the name cracks me up -- Personal Ads. You got 30 to 200 words plastered over the most thoroughly read pages of any weekly newspaper in America, and it's called personal. They oughtta really be called Anonymous Ads, don?t ya think? Or maybe Public Ads. Pathetic Ads? Nah, we'll stick with irony. Personal Ads.
The best personal ad I ever read was in a local rag called the Willamette Week. Yuppies and wannabe artsy types read it. There ain?t no better place for personal ads than the Willamette Week. And for my dough, there ain?t no better personal ad than the following. Seriously, this was so good that I clipped it out and have saved it for the last 14 years. It was placed in the Men Seeking Women section. Check it out.
Since nobody don?t never go to the Pie Page no more, I?ve been forced to utilize this somewhat slimy method of coercing yuz back. Please go to http://www.madjacksports.com/COW.shtml if?n yuz wanna see the ad. Ciao.
BTW ? Thanks for the sleazy idea, Loophole, I think it?ll work. And to answer your question, No! I still ain?t interested in them bestiality sites, so please quit sending ?em to me.
Hey! Howya dooin??
I was talkin? with Snacks last night and the subject rolled around to summa the guys what we don?t see no more. When out of the freakin? blue I go all goosepimply, ya see what I?m sayin?? I mean, I gotta huge whiffa that d?j? vu crap all of a sudden and frankly, I don?t dig on French stuff at all.
Now I ain?t no psycho therapist or nuthin? (although I was labeled ?Psycho the Rapist? once by a drunk Indian chick that had no proof whatsoever), but I think it has to do with repressed feelings regarding my inability to maintain them long-term relationships that you sometimes hear about. I mean, if you?ve known me for five years, you?re either family or you? well? if we?re still talkin?, you?re family. By the way, how long have we known each other, Jack? I notice you ain?t been very? never mind, man. I?m gettin? paranoid is all. But still?
"You know, Cow, it seems like people either love you or hate you." A guy named Pinky Roberts pointed out this great revelation to me several years ago. It was as obvious as steer horns on a Cadillac, but Pinky was the first person what ever said it to me out loud. Man, that guy loved me. He can?t stand me now, though.
So anyway, I?ve been thinkin? about it and I?ve come up with some ideas of a conclusionary nature. Basically, I think that the inevitable evolution of all my relationships, whether it be with guys or dolls, is a cyclical thing, which I figure can best be summed up with a simple five-point formula. To wit:
1) Cow's an asshole.
2) You know, once you get so you can understand him, he ain?t that bad.
3) I freakin' love that guy!
4) You know, I'm not too sure about him anymore.
5) Cow's an asshole.
So, like the shark, I?m constantly searching for new meat. In Bovinia, nothing is constant but change, ya savvy? Well, that and clich?s.
As you can see, all my life I've had to keep meeting new people, making new friends and finding new ?dates,? because the old ones always eventually turned on me. Fortunately, the world has conspired to make finding these new acquaintances easier for me. I mean, during the 70s, it was free love. And during the 80s? Personal ads were hot. The 90s acourse brought email and then in the new century it became... well? Hey! Howya dooin??
Them Personal Ads were the best, though. Even the name cracks me up -- Personal Ads. You got 30 to 200 words plastered over the most thoroughly read pages of any weekly newspaper in America, and it's called personal. They oughtta really be called Anonymous Ads, don?t ya think? Or maybe Public Ads. Pathetic Ads? Nah, we'll stick with irony. Personal Ads.
The best personal ad I ever read was in a local rag called the Willamette Week. Yuppies and wannabe artsy types read it. There ain?t no better place for personal ads than the Willamette Week. And for my dough, there ain?t no better personal ad than the following. Seriously, this was so good that I clipped it out and have saved it for the last 14 years. It was placed in the Men Seeking Women section. Check it out.
Since nobody don?t never go to the Pie Page no more, I?ve been forced to utilize this somewhat slimy method of coercing yuz back. Please go to http://www.madjacksports.com/COW.shtml if?n yuz wanna see the ad. Ciao.
BTW ? Thanks for the sleazy idea, Loophole, I think it?ll work. And to answer your question, No! I still ain?t interested in them bestiality sites, so please quit sending ?em to me.
