There's no "I" in "team", but there are three "I's" in "multiple personality disorder." 
I bet the guy who came up with that "stuck between a rock and a hard place" saying probably had plenty of time to come up with a bunch of other stupid cliches, too.
If the CIA were smart, they'd give secret operations names like "ARRRRRGH!", so when agents were captured and tortured, the enemy would never figure it out....
I had a dream last night that I drank the largest Margarita in Texas. When I woke up, there was salt on the toilet lid and rim. Sure, it sounds gross, but at least now I have an explanation for the blue tongue....
I was riding Amtrak the other day, and the girl sitting next to me asked if I'd like to join the "Hundred and Thirty Mile-an-Hour Club." Ha! The joke's on her -- those babies can do 125, tops....
Here's a money-saving tip: Don't spit your mouthwash down the drain when you've finished gargling. Instead, spit it back into the bottle. That stuff's supposed to kill germs, isn't it? :shrug:
I did some math on my salary today, and it turns out I get a penny every six seconds. But I'm kinda glad they save it all for the end of the week, though....
If I had one wish and I couldn't wish for more wishes, I'd wish for fewer wishes. That'd really screw the genie up, 'cause you can't have less than one wish.
I bet the guy who came up with that "stuck between a rock and a hard place" saying probably had plenty of time to come up with a bunch of other stupid cliches, too.
If the CIA were smart, they'd give secret operations names like "ARRRRRGH!", so when agents were captured and tortured, the enemy would never figure it out....
I had a dream last night that I drank the largest Margarita in Texas. When I woke up, there was salt on the toilet lid and rim. Sure, it sounds gross, but at least now I have an explanation for the blue tongue....
I was riding Amtrak the other day, and the girl sitting next to me asked if I'd like to join the "Hundred and Thirty Mile-an-Hour Club." Ha! The joke's on her -- those babies can do 125, tops....
Here's a money-saving tip: Don't spit your mouthwash down the drain when you've finished gargling. Instead, spit it back into the bottle. That stuff's supposed to kill germs, isn't it? :shrug:
I did some math on my salary today, and it turns out I get a penny every six seconds. But I'm kinda glad they save it all for the end of the week, though....
If I had one wish and I couldn't wish for more wishes, I'd wish for fewer wishes. That'd really screw the genie up, 'cause you can't have less than one wish.
