Most embarassing thing you have done!

[TIME TO MAKE $$$]

a few years back Iwas running the 100m in gym. Well i went to the line at our track. waited. My coach yells GO, and just as I took off I ripped the loudest fart you will ever hear. Well it didn't help my time much but i claimed it as NO2, NOS for you car enthusiasts.!!

 

[BahamaMama]

can't think of anything i've ever done that has embarassed me that much....... cuz if it could be embarassing, i don't do it....LOL

but when i get back from the wonderful cub scout pinewood derby tonight, i'll post the most embarassing moment of my life

 

[BahamaMama]

OK, here comes story 1 of 2 (tie)

OK, here comes story 1 of 2 (tie)

the setting....a movie theatre about 3/4 full

the movie "The End" with Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise

the "characters": the rest of the audience, my mother, father, and husband at the time..........

the scene: Burt Reynolds goes to confession with Robby Benson playing the priest. He asks "Father Benson" if jerking off is still a sin.

the NEXT scene: my mother saying quite loudly

WHAT DOES JERKING OFF MEAN??

me - under the seat dying

my husband - under the seat also dying

my father smacking my mother on the leg and trying to DISCREETLY tell her that he'll tell her later, and my mother asking loudly again, WELL, WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

the rest of the audience laughing their butts off.....LOL

 

[BahamaMama]

Next.............

Next.............

the setting, an Iowa Hawkeye football game before the game started.

the people, my mom, aunt and i, and the entire rest of the dang stadium....

the *timing* ..... back in the days when toxic shock syndrom had just been either discovered or given a name.

the real *timing*.... ya know how loud a crowd is at a football game when the band is on the field and doing the pregame stuff, and then all of a sudden, the flags come out for the national anthem and things get almost instantly quiet?

well, while it's loud, you have to practiacally be screaming at the person right next to you in order to be heard, but as soon as it gets quiet, the nearby 50 rows can here you if you're still talking that loud........

anyway, mom was talking about everyday normal stuff while screaming in my ear, and decided to have a *thought* the minute the stadium goes quiet........

she YELLS ........ "YOU DON'T USE RELY TAMPONS, DO YOU?"

(and no seats to crawl under this time )

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

Was playing golf and had one of our 4some not show so they added a player that had came to course alone to our group.
When we finished we drove out to parking lot to unload our bags in our cars. As I approached my car I noticed a beat up truck parked inches from it that looked like it was out of demolision derby.I told the stranger who was riding with me that it never failed,where ever I parked some woodrow from skidrow would park the biggest junker in the lot inches from mine. I stopped to unload my clubs and at same time he put his clubs in the back of truck parked next to me and drove off.

 

[buddy]

Years ago, my girl and I went to a Halloween party.

Tarzan and Jane.

I'm wearing a skimpy loin cloth and have a wreath of grape leaves in my hair.

9:30 PM

I get a flat tire on Liberty Ave in Bloomfield, Pa.

No comment on the catcalls and passerby remarks.

 

[TexasBC6]

Setting: 5th grade - I am sitting on the bus waiting for it to leave from school.

I'm sitting there talking about nothing in particular to my friend Jonny. I see a person I don't recognize walking up along the sidewalk next to the bus. The person is wearing loose clothing, some sort of hat (I forget what kind) and big dark sunglasses. This person also has pretty short gray hair. Being the smartass, I turn to my friend Jonny and say, "Hey check it out, is that a man or a woman!?!?" His face turned bright red and his jaw immediately dropped. He turned to me and said, "that's my mom!"

 

[dr. freeze]

i was in 2nd grade and got in trouble for something and the teacher told me i had to stay in the classroom for recess

well, teacher left and i had to go to the bathroom......i was very obedient and sat there and watched the seconds tick by hoping with all hope i could hold it.....unfortunately, i didn't make it til the end of recess and had an accident......of course the teacher said that i could have gone to the bathroom when she got back and there i was in all my glory......

funny how i still remember this accident vividly.....embarrassing situations stay with us forever i think......lol

 

[djv]

The good news Dr Freeze you should now be out of second grade. However the bad news. That does not mean you won't do it again.

 

[dr. freeze]

fortunately for me DJV i can laugh at myself as can most people.....

 

[Kevin]

I have quite a few, I was a real rowdy back in high school and college...

We're at a ball game...a few rows in front of us is a very large lady waiving her arms back and forth yelling and screaming and she obviously knew nothing about the game. Well, after a couple innings this was getting very old. So I turn to this bone skinny kid next to me (very ironic he was skinny) and say I wish that $@@#$# @#$@#$ would shut the hell up...he looks at me and says dude, thats my mom. And was dead serious! I looked at him, laughed, and got up and moved LOL I had never been so embarassed!

This one was a thriller...Brandon and I had had a bunch of beers and headed down to a bar where Angie, an ol' friend of mine worked. She had wanted me to come see her dance and I promptly told her no way, your like my sister, so said I'd come meet her afterwards to go out...Well, I show up, first thing in the door, I hear this...."C'mon guys, leave me alone, I don't want any trouble"...well, there stands two lanky long haired fellas standing over a little guy sitting at a table. I stood there for a second (buzzing happily I might add) and sure as shit this little guy really wanted nothing to do with the long hairs so I tapped longhair number one on the shoulder.."excuse me, the fella doesn't want a problem, let it go"...well longhair number two says "Man, who the F are you?" well, I get all bold as most 22 yr olds would, kick off my slip on adidas sandles and tell him I'm a barefoot MF and I'm gonna kick his ass. Well, some bastard gets me in a bear hug from behind and I absolutely dropped this person with a double elbow drop...it turns out to be the bartender who was the second coming of a car crash dummy. Ida never done it but I thought I was getting attacked and had no idea it was a women. She didn't feel it anyway, she looked like she had a nice dose of heroin on her samich break.

So, I turn around in a defensive posture and the two long hairs are gone. The whole bar is pointing out the door so I run outside like a jerkoff looking for these two honeys. Ol' Joe was waiting outside cause he was too young...Let me tell ya, Joe was 18, and the biggest dufus when he's drunk. I'm like "Joe, did you see two longhairs? Joe says, yeah man, their in that car over there, why? I'm like get the F in the car...I pullout, reverse all the way across this very long parking lot and hit first gear and rammed this car while shifting into second gear. It was a nasty t-bone shot...I whipped the car around, got another run at it in reverse (we were drunk) and rammed them from behind as well. So I get out ready to do some boxing and theres nobody in this car. I'm like "Joe, you said they were in this car"...Joes like uh, I thought that was their car!

LOL

Oh man, to make matters worse this car/bar was on my delivery route. I had to drive by this thing every day for a month. It just sat there in the parking lot totalled. I did a double t-bone job on a guys car that couldn't even afford to have the thing towed outta the parking lot. I felt guilty as hell.

I did save the little guy from getting pummeled though. Hopefully that keeps me out of hell for this blunder on my part. LOL

 

[Felonious Monk]

Damn, I didn't see this thread until now.

In high school I once had a blind date with a friend of a friend of a .....etc.....you get the picture I'm sure.

Upon my arrival I was greeted at the door by her VERY hot mother. She escorted me in and introduced me to her husband, clearly stating that this was her daughter's stepfather.

The stepfather was sitting in his Lay-Z-Boy, with a brown liquid in his glass. Probably JD. All he did was grunt Hello.

About this time my date came into the room....H - O - T is the only description of this girl. I was very happy.

She immediately said, goodnight to her stepfather and grabbed my hand to lead me out the door.

At this point, the step father bolted from his chair, and intercepted us in the foyer. He then went into a drunken speech. He made it perfectly clear that if my hands went down into his daughter's pants he would hunt me down like a dog and hang me from the center beam in his living room by my balls.

My date then screamed FUHK YOU, YOU DRUNK PILE OF SHIT, and we left.

 

[fatdaddycool]

Was attending Pre-School,

Was attending Pre-School,

In chicago where I was born and raised. We had an indoor playground with a tile floor. Had to be brought to Hospital three times in first twoo months cuz I would keep laeaning back on the see saw, consequently the melon would hit the floor pretty hard. Sustained two concussions. Thus I was actually held back a year from attending Kindergarten, so I was a year older than everyone......sucked...

 

[buddy]

Don't think this will qualify in this category. Don't even know if this story is true, but it's funny as hell.

You know how you can get your fingers slammed in a car door?

Well, I worked with a guy one time who said his wife slammed the car door on his johnson.

(Jack, you can delete this part if you want)

For some reason, he was standing next to the car and had it out.

His wife was sitting in the car.

He was still exposed when his wife said, "I'm in a hurry" and slammed the door.

He said it hurt like hell but didn't damage anything.

Said for a few months it was shaped like the end of an allen wrench.

 

[djv]

Pitching base ball 20 years old. High hard One was the call. I did high and hard all right. Lets just say if it looks like chit and smells like chit. It is chit. Headed for the showers at once. Thought our manager was going to die form laughing. He still to this day can not tell story with out busting his cut. Next time we played this team. They had a sign. Dave throw the high hard one. Put a little mustard on it. Call it a hot dog.

 

[Stag]

the most embarassing thing I've ever done

the most embarassing thing I've ever done

put $10 on Winthrop (money-line) last week

 

[buddy]

Stag,

too funny!

 

[Blitz]

not me but funny

not me but funny

A Spanish man's desire for safe sex turned into an embarrassing ordeal
when his hand got stuck in a condom vending machine for four hours.

After a long night on the town with his girlfriend, unidentified
23-year-old man put some coins into a condom machine outside a pharmacy
on a popular beach in Cadiz, southern Spain. When nothing came out, the
man pounded impatiently on the machine, then stuck his hand in the
opening to try to pull the condom package out.

Two of his fingers became caught inside. For the next few hours he was
the brunt of humiliating comments from passers-by while he and his
girlfriend tried unsuccessfully to pry his hand loose.

The couple finally called firemen, who had to detach the machine from
the wall and bring it to the station - with the man's fingers still
inside - before they were able to set him free sometime after dawn.

 

[TIME TO MAKE $$$]

Re: the most embarassing thing I've ever done

Re: the most embarassing thing I've ever done

put $10 on Winthrop (money-line) last week

Not embarassing at all, if they won you would be laughing!