NAME THE BIGGEST ASS KISSER
- Thread starter RAYMOND
- Start date
(MY WIFE THINKS I AM A F-CK UP WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK
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BOYS MY WIFE IS REALLY UPSET WITH ME TODAY AND SHE ACTUALLY SWORE AT ME SHE CALLED ME A F-CK UP.I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE HEARD HER SWEAR IN 10 YEARS BUT MAYBE SHE HAS A POINT.BOYS I ALWAYS WATCH THIS OLD HOUSE AND ALL THESE OTHER PROGRAMS THE DO IT YOURSELF SHOWS AND THEY MAKE EVERYTHING LOOK SO EASY.SO I DECIDED YESTERDAY THAT I WAS GOING TO PUT DOWN A CERAMIC TILE FLOOR BY MYSELF PIECE OF CAKE RIGHT WRONG I F-CKED IT UP.THE GUY AT HOME DEPOT SAID LAYING A TILE FLOOR IS EASY HE COULD TRAIN 2 MONKEYS AT THE FRANKLIN PARK ZOO TO DO IT.SO I SAID FINE I WILL BUY A 300 DOLLAR WATER SAW MORTAR MIX GROUT AND DO THE JOB MYSELFBIG MISTAKE FELLAS.THE OLD FLOOR HAD THOSE CHEAP STICK ON TILES SO I SAID HEY F-CK IT I CAN FOLLOW THE OLD LINES IT LOOKS STRAIGHT TO ME WELL YOU GUESSED IT I DID 2-3 ROWS OF TOUGH WORK MIXING MORTAR AND LUGGING AROUND 13 X 13 TILES I SAID WHAT THE F-CK THESE LINES ARE NOT LINING UP IT WAS ABOUT A 1/4 OF AN INCH OFF.SO I FIGURED I COULD CHEAT A LITTLE WITH THE SPACING OH MAN NOW I AM F-CKED BY THE 4TH ROW I WAS 1/2 INCH OFF I WAS SCREWED I KNEW IT WOULD ONLY GET WORSE AS I GET TO THE 9TH ROW OF TILE SO I STOPPED.NOW MY WIFE IS BULLSH-T AT ME FOR F-CKING UP THE FLOOR IT WILL COST US AN ADDITIONAL 1000 DOLLARS TO HAVE SOMEBODY COME IN AND RIP UP MY MISTAKES AND START OVER.SO MUCH FOR THE MONKEY THEORY I AM THINKING OF GOING BACK TO HOME DEPOT AND PUNCHING OUT THE GUY THAT TOLD ME IT WAS A PIECE OF CAKE TO PUT IN A TILED FLOOR.IF I EVER RUN INTO THAT ARSEHOLE DEAN JOHNSON ON THE HOME IMPROVEMENTS STATION WHO ALSO ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO DO TILE ON THERE OWN I WILL SMACK HIM RIGHT IN THE MOUTH I NEVER LIKED THIS YUPPIE *** ANYWAY
BOYS HOW CAN I PROVE TO HONEY PIE THAT I AM NOT A F-CK UP AND BUILD HER CONFIDENCE IN ME AGAIN I NEED AN EASY DO IT YOURSELF JOB THAT SHE KNOWS I CAN HANDLE.
SHE ALSO MENTIONED THAT I COULDNT EVEN CUT THE LAWN WITHOUT F-CKING UP WHEN MY LAWNMOWER GOT STOLEN LAST YEAR SHE THINKS I AM A REAL LOSER RIGHT NOW AND I MUST REBUILD HER CONFIDENCE IN ME.ITS A TERRIBLE FEELING WHEN SOMEBODY THAT LOVES YOU HAS LOST FAITH WHEN SHE WALKED OUT THE DOOR THIS MORNING SHE SAID DONT TOUCH ANYTHING PLEASE YOU ARE AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN.THERE MUST BE SOMETHING I CAN DO TO RE-NEW HER FAITH IN ME EVEN BROWNIE MY DOG THINKS I AM A F-CK UP THE OTHER DAY I WAS WALKING HIM IN THE PARK AND HE WAS GOING HOME WITH ANOTHER PERSON EVEN THOUGH I WAS CALLING HIM
he'a a fvck up too :mj07:
well if people could understand a joke then i wouldnt need to fake-apologize :shrug: but another stupid thread to tally up
mike...
you will not meet a bigger sarcastic person than me..... but sarcasm is very hard to convey on the internet. that's why i behave myself here.
true AL, it doesnt go over well on here, I dont think people would appreciate it anyway maybe you would, but in fla anytime I tried making a joke I got looked at like I had 8 heads and it offended them b/c they thought I was serious, oh well, I think shutting up and being silent is the best option most cases
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thats because they saw you coming from a half mile away.:142smilie
Ny im not breaking ur balls here but is this the first site you have ever visited?
1st site of what, sports betting or the like? I dont really enjoy posting and the idiotic back/forth so I dont know why I post, I'd rather just read stuff when bored
