O.K. guys, let's face it, on February 14th, we perpetually get the shaft. Although booked as a celebration of "Love" the grand marketing and promotion machine in the Media centers of New York and Los Angeles has "morphed" this celebration into a day that celebrates all things female.
We are forced to display our undying affection for our "significant other" or "significant other de jour" by bestowing upon her the gifts of flowers, cards, jewelry, dinner, shows, clothing, spa et cetera, et cetera. Of course, we must navigate the perfume spraying kabuki matrons in the local mall with the "Grail"
in mind of satiating our "woman's" delights with coupled the knowledge that we must present at least two of the above listed items to her with a combined total suggested retail value of not less than $175.
We feel put upon, harried and left out. Yes, left out. There is no special holiday for men. Although we may be to proud to admit it, we need our own day.
Toward that end, an underground group of well wishing women and forward thinking men have proposed a new holiday be created on March 20th, 2002. (They picked the 3rd Wednesday in March so we would be able to miss "The West Wing" and "Law
and Order" and still get to watch most of the NCAA Basketball Tournament). That holiday is "Steak and Blowjob Day".
Elegant in its simplicity, flawless in execution and exceptionally self explanatory. This holiday has been created so the ladies of this world can have a simple, low stress hassle free way to show the men in their lives how much they love them. No cards, no flowers, no shopping. The name of the holiday says it all, a steak and a blowjob. That's it, nothing more. Now we have a "yin" to
their "yang" a balance. This will also allow going forward a reason for our excesses in February based on the promise of a really good steak and blowjob in March and will be self limiting because well, a blowjob is nice, but $500 nice?
The word is starting to spread and our focus group research tells us that within three years we will have much better success than Kwanzaa, and will be on twice as many calendars, but this is our first "go" date. Please let the world know, Wednesday March 20th is "Steak and Blowjob Day".
p.s. Sorry if I offended anyone....
We are forced to display our undying affection for our "significant other" or "significant other de jour" by bestowing upon her the gifts of flowers, cards, jewelry, dinner, shows, clothing, spa et cetera, et cetera. Of course, we must navigate the perfume spraying kabuki matrons in the local mall with the "Grail"
in mind of satiating our "woman's" delights with coupled the knowledge that we must present at least two of the above listed items to her with a combined total suggested retail value of not less than $175.
We feel put upon, harried and left out. Yes, left out. There is no special holiday for men. Although we may be to proud to admit it, we need our own day.
Toward that end, an underground group of well wishing women and forward thinking men have proposed a new holiday be created on March 20th, 2002. (They picked the 3rd Wednesday in March so we would be able to miss "The West Wing" and "Law
and Order" and still get to watch most of the NCAA Basketball Tournament). That holiday is "Steak and Blowjob Day".
Elegant in its simplicity, flawless in execution and exceptionally self explanatory. This holiday has been created so the ladies of this world can have a simple, low stress hassle free way to show the men in their lives how much they love them. No cards, no flowers, no shopping. The name of the holiday says it all, a steak and a blowjob. That's it, nothing more. Now we have a "yin" to
their "yang" a balance. This will also allow going forward a reason for our excesses in February based on the promise of a really good steak and blowjob in March and will be self limiting because well, a blowjob is nice, but $500 nice?
The word is starting to spread and our focus group research tells us that within three years we will have much better success than Kwanzaa, and will be on twice as many calendars, but this is our first "go" date. Please let the world know, Wednesday March 20th is "Steak and Blowjob Day".
p.s. Sorry if I offended anyone....
