Phrases Nearly Every Southerner Uses.

[buddy]

1. Smack dab: "There was a big ol' palmetto bug smack dab in the middle of my plate."

2. Holler at me: "Holler at me down at the garage if you need anything."

3. Fixing to: "I'm fixing to go down to the store. Need anything?"

4. Right pretty: "She's a right pretty gal alright."

5. Might could: "I might could fix your car if you'd reach me my tools."

6. "T'weren't nothin" -- the correct answer to any compliment given to you.

7. Sho' nuff: "I'm sho' nuff tired of them leftovers."

8. Fired up: "He's all fired up because his boss chewed him out."

9. I reckon: "I reckon I'll just fix me up a snack."

10. "Who drank the last Diet Coke?"

 

[taoist]

The South explained....

The South explained....

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
The South has mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses
The South has Waffle House
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has an ambulance,
The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

IN THE SOUTH -

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.
This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store.... Don't buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's"
is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child.
This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent
of saying "No!"

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying.
They can't understand you either.

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerner begin their Southern-influenced
dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this,"
you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the
last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required
at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need
anything or not. You just have to go there.

When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle
of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John
Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own
shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush
green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we
will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens
in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

 

[taoist]

The Top FORTY Things You Will NEVER Hear A Southern Man Say:

The Top FORTY Things You Will NEVER Hear A Southern Man Say:

> 40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
>
> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>
> 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
>
> 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
>
> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>
> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>
> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>
> 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
>
> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
>
> 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>
> 30. Wrestling's fake.
>
> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>
> 28. We're vegetarians.
>
> 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
>
> 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>
> 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>
> 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
>
> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>
> 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>
> 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
>
> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
>
> 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
>
> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>
> 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
>
> 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
>
> 15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
>
> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>
> 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>
> 12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>
> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>
> 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
>
> 9. Checkmate.
>
> 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>
> 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>
> 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>
> 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
>
> 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>
> 3. You All.
>
> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>
> And, the Number One thing you'll NEVER hear a Southern Man say:
>
> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight

 

[Bluemound Freak]

I love it I love it I love it! Gimme some more of em! I think I'll sit my ole rear end down ritchear and watch fer a spell! Right Smack dab behin my desk and listen to yall crack on us'ns! Go head.....Take yer best shot! BOYS!

 

[Felonious Monk]

Can someone please explain why buddy and taoist are exchanging all of this Southern ridicule? Did I miss something?

 

[acehistr8]

And it was the War of Northern Agression and to their mind, it is still ongoing and there is no clear winner. Though if you ask, they will probably brandish a weapon from somewhere on their person and offer to get it on

 

[taoist]

Monk, we're just having a little fun with each other.... Buddy posted something last night, so I followed suit and it went back and forth for a little while...but I can assure you that it's all in good fun.



acehistr8, I got mine right here................ :bigun:

here's buddy's..................................... :firing:

 

[acehistr8]

I've got two Civil War muskets hanging over the mantle of my parents house in NH. I would take those suckers in a one shot, 25 yard match any time over an uzi-esque weapon. Man that sheet leave a big hole coming out.

 

[buddy]

Monk,

I have a friend in Columbus, Georgia who I use to rib relentlessly about being from the South.

We both enjoyed poking fun at each other.

I then went to Borders and found a book titled the "Southerner's Book of Lists".

I now have more Yankee ammo than anyone in cyberspace.

Let me also say, that as a gift, she sent me a book titled, "The Seven Signs Of Southerness"...famous southerners on being southern.

These are some excerpts:

~~~~~~~~~~

"Truth be told my father had cured me of fishing and hunting by the time I had reached my teens...the man was serious, I'm telling you, serious about his hunting and his fishing.

And I just broke under the strain."

-- Michael Swindle in "Mulletheads"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Try to remember that, though ignorance becomes a southern gentleman, cowardice does not."

--Lillian Hellman--"Another Part Of The Planet."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The South is the future. It's the future right now. It will teach people to be much kinder to each other and more forgiving and more easygoing and more neighborly and simply more forbearing and genuinely more concerned about other people."

--James Dickey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The South still has a better chance of working out its problems than the more urbanized rest of the country, simply because more of us remember each other's names.'

--Will Campbell

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's all now you see. Yesterday won't be over until tomorrow, and tomorrow began ten thousand years ago."

--William Faulkner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Chopsticks]

LMFAO!!!!!! Residing in Texas, all those southern slang posted above, I've heard. Very entertaining stuff gentlemen!!!!!

 

[Bluemound Freak]

I counted and I have used everyone of those phrases today! Dangummit! I missed one!

 

[AzRusty]

Other not as common sayings

Other not as common sayings

My Dad is from deep East Texas (Greenville) and my Mom was from Atlanta. Me.. I was just along for the ride:

Other sayings less often heard

Well, whatever blows your dress up.

Well, I"ll be dipped!

I'm so broke that if it cost a nickel to ride to town all I could manage is "Ain't that cheap"!

In answer to a question as to how he's doin' "Middlin" ie OK

Or same question if the guy is doing great. "I'm doing so good that if I was at the County Fair I think I'd get a blue ribbon"\

My wife is a Valley Girl (3rd generation Japanese American) but still Southern California Coachella Desert Valley.. She constantly kids me about my proper English. I think she's just jealous.

When I'm really pissed after having a four or five teamer go down that proverbial shitter... I'll let out a longgggggg shit. She always says.. Definately TWO syllables.

My boys were down for their first visit here about three years ago. Kat and I have both been married before. As I was helping my 13 and 10 year old boys gather up their stuff to pack in their individual suitcases I asked... Is this ya'll's?

Kathy said what the hell is that? I said I'm asking if that book belongs to them. She said well.. yeah.. but ya'll's. Is that plural or what? I just laughed and said yeah.. it's plural possessive.

My boys and ex wife live between Dallas and Tyler 10 miles outside of Canton. My ex is an attorney. My divorcing an attorney was not one of my more brilliant brainstorms.
We've all heard the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." NO SHIT. Also .. her reaction brought new meaning to the saying "One call does it all". She represented herself pro se. And she played a variation of the old game telephone where one person calls another who calls andother etc etc.
She called an attorney who called an attorney who called and attorney who all called my attorney...all calls showed up on my attorney bill fawwwwwwwwwwwwwkkkk

The only thing that I really miss about me ex-wife is her custom deer rifle!

She is now running for district judge in Tyler or Van Zandt County. If having the biggest butt in three counties qualifies her I think she has a shot at it!

AzRusty
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-IT

 

[SixFive]

I use 4 of those routinely (1,2,3,&9), and I think the others are all garnered from the Andy Griffith show. Number 8 is one I use as well, but to me fired up means excited, or extremely ready, like, "I'm fired up about the game tonight!"

 

[fatdaddycool]

Buddy,
I do believe Ned Beatty in Deliverance made a few sarcastic comments about Southerners also, yea I am sure of it....it was right before they bent him over made him squeal like a pig, raped him and then killed him. ......cheers mate

p.s. I happen to say CHECKMATE quite often would be happy to give her a go on any online chess game if you are willing to get your..hold on need a sourtherner saying here..."dress blown up", "I reckon". Other than that, have a good day dude. (Yankee saying)

 

[taoist]

fdc,

i'm a long-time chess player myself.... maybe we can give it a go a little later. :shrug:

 

[TheShrimp]

I dated a girl from Pell City, AL.

She used to use the expression, "that needs cleaned" or "that needs fixed" instead of "that needs to be cleaned" or "that needs to be fixed".

She claimed it was a southern thing. I haven't heard it too much from anyone else though.

 

[boilermaker]

Hey Bluemound Freak, ya ever had'm hovered ,covered and smothered? mmmmmmmmmmm goooood.

 

[beantownjim]

I WAS HAVING SOME BEERS WITH GENTLEMAN FROM THE SOUTH WHO HAD A GORGOUS SISTER I SAID HEY GOOBER CAN YOU INTRODUCE ME TO HER .HE REPLIED SURE BEANTOWN AS SOON AS SHE COMES OUT OF THE TRAILOR HOME WITH UNCLE ERNIE.A LOT OF IMBREEDING GOING ON DOWN THERE.

JESUS SAVES,AND ESPOSITO SCORES ON THE REBOUND

 

[fatdaddycool]

there must be alot of "imbreeding" up north too Beanbag as it seems all the lousy spellers seem to be perpetuating the spelling bee dropouts....now I am just having a little fun ,albeit at your expense, but you couldn't have honestly believed you were a good speller, hell you aren't even a good .....................................?


And now a contest........fill in the appropriate blank I have left above, and get a free pick from the newest hot handicapper on the forum beantownjim.

 

[Felonious Monk]

....dihk sucker.