RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

Scrapman

Rollingdembones
Forum Member
Jan 6, 2013
5,928
110
63
south east PA
1.Two times a week my wife and I go out to a nice restaurant,

have a little beverage, good food and companionship.

She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. My wife and I sleep in separate beds.

Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.:lol:

3. I take my wife everywhere,

but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested the kitchen. xstop

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric

toaster and electric bread maker.

She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place

to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. :mj07:

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well

because there was water in the carburetor.

I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." :lol:

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late

for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". :lol:

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her

first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.

My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"

I said, "Dust!". :mj07:
 
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