Bud Shaw- Cleveland Plain Dealer
The new Olympics: Chasing the grousing gold
02/22/02
Salt Lake City - The Russians are going? The Russians are going?
Godspeed.
Actually, that shouldn't be a problem.
With only 14 medals, it's not as if it will take the Russians long to get through the hand check of bags at airport security.
They aren't the only unhappy campers. The Koreans have a better understanding of how America works. They have hired an attorney to pursue their claim - rejected late last night by skating officials - that they were robbed of the short track speedskating gold medal won by American Apolo Anton Ohno Wednesday night.
Still, the Russians make the Koreans look like good sports who are living the "light the fire within" credo for only threatening to boycott the closing ceremony.
Think of the world as one big room. Can't you feel the love in it?
These Winter Games are proof you can hold the Olympics during wartime without the threat of a boycott. But not a women's 4x5 kilometer cross country relay. Heavens, no.
That is the really big war for the Russians after their relay team was forced to withdraw because its star skier had a high hemoglobin level in a pre-race "health test."
Threatening to leave Salt Lake City unless order is restored in their world view, they really aren't asking for much. Just a double gold medal for a race they didn't run.
Or a rerun of the race tomorrow.
And a letter of explanation to Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Showing they aren't being unreasonable, they seem willing to forgo demanding an official declaration of victory for their defeat in the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The proximity of the protest to Russian Irina Slutskaya's long program last night and today's U.S.-Russian hockey game might suggest a hidden motive. Nyet, the Russians say.
"Without Russia, the Olympic Games would be lost," said Vitaly Smirnov, vice president of the IOC.
No offense to our comrades. But the loss of Smirnov vodka would be a bigger hit to competing countries.
"We are greatly unappreciated," said Leonid Tyagachev, president of the Russian Olympic Committee.
The Russians are feeling blue. It's a shame B.B. King didn't make it to the medals plaza to sing their song.
It's one thing to demand a clarification and lodge a protest. Secretary General Francois Carrard - the IOC's answer to Peter Sellers - could not adequately explain the difference between a doping test and a "health test," but maintained there was one.
But the Russians are also crying about the officiating in a 1-0 hockey win over the Czech Republic. And, of course, while the Olympics are supposedly all about sharing, they aren't happy about sharing gold in pairs skating with Canadians Jamie Sale and David Pelletier.
One could work up an eyedropper full of sympathy for the IOC and new president Jacques Rogge had they not created this kettle of borscht by handing out two gold medals in the pairs fiasco.
Can of worms? These Olympics are beginning to look and sound like a snake pit.
The Russians want a gold because their 4x5K women's team has been dominant for so long. Sure thing. Makes perfect sense.
In a letter of appeal, the Koreans asked the IOC to award an Olympic gold medal to skater Kim Dong-sung "who truly won the race" against Ohno
Change that XIX Winter Games credo to "Fight the Liar Within."
The Russians say they might not stick around to play the U.S. in hockey today. Anybody mind a forfeit win?
Who knows how long the Russians will stay? Sarah Hughes, in a stunning surprise, jumped over Michelle Kwan, Sasha Cohen and Slutskaya for the figure-skating gold last night.
That rumbling in the sky over Salt Lake City last night might have been the engines of Aeroflot.
The new Olympics: Chasing the grousing gold
02/22/02
Salt Lake City - The Russians are going? The Russians are going?
Godspeed.
Actually, that shouldn't be a problem.
With only 14 medals, it's not as if it will take the Russians long to get through the hand check of bags at airport security.
They aren't the only unhappy campers. The Koreans have a better understanding of how America works. They have hired an attorney to pursue their claim - rejected late last night by skating officials - that they were robbed of the short track speedskating gold medal won by American Apolo Anton Ohno Wednesday night.
Still, the Russians make the Koreans look like good sports who are living the "light the fire within" credo for only threatening to boycott the closing ceremony.
Think of the world as one big room. Can't you feel the love in it?
These Winter Games are proof you can hold the Olympics during wartime without the threat of a boycott. But not a women's 4x5 kilometer cross country relay. Heavens, no.
That is the really big war for the Russians after their relay team was forced to withdraw because its star skier had a high hemoglobin level in a pre-race "health test."
Threatening to leave Salt Lake City unless order is restored in their world view, they really aren't asking for much. Just a double gold medal for a race they didn't run.
Or a rerun of the race tomorrow.
And a letter of explanation to Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Showing they aren't being unreasonable, they seem willing to forgo demanding an official declaration of victory for their defeat in the Cuban Missile Crisis.
The proximity of the protest to Russian Irina Slutskaya's long program last night and today's U.S.-Russian hockey game might suggest a hidden motive. Nyet, the Russians say.
"Without Russia, the Olympic Games would be lost," said Vitaly Smirnov, vice president of the IOC.
No offense to our comrades. But the loss of Smirnov vodka would be a bigger hit to competing countries.
"We are greatly unappreciated," said Leonid Tyagachev, president of the Russian Olympic Committee.
The Russians are feeling blue. It's a shame B.B. King didn't make it to the medals plaza to sing their song.
It's one thing to demand a clarification and lodge a protest. Secretary General Francois Carrard - the IOC's answer to Peter Sellers - could not adequately explain the difference between a doping test and a "health test," but maintained there was one.
But the Russians are also crying about the officiating in a 1-0 hockey win over the Czech Republic. And, of course, while the Olympics are supposedly all about sharing, they aren't happy about sharing gold in pairs skating with Canadians Jamie Sale and David Pelletier.
One could work up an eyedropper full of sympathy for the IOC and new president Jacques Rogge had they not created this kettle of borscht by handing out two gold medals in the pairs fiasco.
Can of worms? These Olympics are beginning to look and sound like a snake pit.
The Russians want a gold because their 4x5K women's team has been dominant for so long. Sure thing. Makes perfect sense.
In a letter of appeal, the Koreans asked the IOC to award an Olympic gold medal to skater Kim Dong-sung "who truly won the race" against Ohno
Change that XIX Winter Games credo to "Fight the Liar Within."
The Russians say they might not stick around to play the U.S. in hockey today. Anybody mind a forfeit win?
Who knows how long the Russians will stay? Sarah Hughes, in a stunning surprise, jumped over Michelle Kwan, Sasha Cohen and Slutskaya for the figure-skating gold last night.
That rumbling in the sky over Salt Lake City last night might have been the engines of Aeroflot.
