SEENAGER:
I am a Seenager. I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only
60 years later...
I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew.
have a driver's license and my own car.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don't have acne.
Life is great.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim".
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is...
"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights."
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself;
sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
remember their names.
I am a Seenager. I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only
60 years later...
I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew.
have a driver's license and my own car.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don't have acne.
Life is great.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim".
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is...
"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights."
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself;
sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
remember their names.
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