The Bear And The Atheist

[yyz]

The atheist was running through the forest, and he was running fast. A bear was chasing him and he was catching up. And the atheist ran faster, but the bear was still gaining. The man tripped and fell, and by the time he rolled over, the bear had one paw on his chest and the other raised for the killing blow. The atheist looked up to the sky and said, "God help me!". And the bear froze in place. And the leaves stopped rustling in the wind. And the river stopped flowing. A voice from the sky said. "You denied my existence all your life. You attribute my gorgeous creation to some cosmic accident, and you've taught others to believe as you do, and NOW you want me to save you??"
"Yeah, that would be kind of hypocritical", said the atheist. "Why don't you make the bear a Christian!" And POOF! The river began to flow, the leaves rustled in the wind, and the bear lowered its paw and put them together as he lowered his head;

"Thank you Lord for this food I am about to receive..."

 

[PerpetualCzech]

A Baptist minister was visiting the home of one of the local families when the son comes running in, all excited because his dog had just had her puppies.
"Don't interupt, Johnny," said the boy's mother.
"Oh, don't scold him, ma'am," said the minister. "Puppies are very exciting. Let's go have a look at those puppies."
So the boy led them to a cardboard box in the basement full of barely newborn puppies.
"And what kind of puppies are these, my boy?" asked the minister.
"They're Baptist puppies, sir."
The minister patted him on the head and left.
Several weeks later, the minister was walking down the street when he saw the little boy playing with one of the puppies in the yard.
"How are your Baptist puppies doing?" he asked jovially.
"They're atheist puppies," replied the boy.
"Atheist puppies! Why?"
"Well you see, sir, their eyes are open now."