DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow & give it to your neighbor. You feel rightous, Barbra Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So??
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The gov't. seizes both & provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive & sour.
CAPITALISM/ AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, & build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY/AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The gov't. taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which is a gift from your gov't.
BUREAURACY/AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The gov't. takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, & then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself & do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized & are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow & produce 20X the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,give excellent quality milk, & run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You take a shot of vodka & count them & learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again & learn you have 42 cows. You count them again & learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows & open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5- year plan in 3 months. The mafia shows up & takes over however many cows you really have.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow & a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have 15 million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So??
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The gov't. seizes both & provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive & sour.
CAPITALISM/ AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, & build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY/AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The gov't. taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which is a gift from your gov't.
BUREAURACY/AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The gov't. takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, & then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself & do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized & are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow & produce 20X the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,give excellent quality milk, & run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You take a shot of vodka & count them & learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again & learn you have 42 cows. You count them again & learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows & open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5- year plan in 3 months. The mafia shows up & takes over however many cows you really have.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow & a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have 15 million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
