the prehistoric goose of death....

[gardenweasel]

the economy may be melting down, and iran may be on the brink of nuclear weapons, but at least we don?t have gigantic geese the size of small planes with mouths full of razor sharp teeth....

Andrea Thompson
Senior Writer
LiveScience.com

""Scientists have found a new huge and well-preserved fossil of a goose and duck relative that swam around what is now England 50 million years ago flashing sharp, toothy smiles.

The skull, discovered on the Isle of Sheppey off the southeast coast of England in the Thames Estuary, belonged to a huge ancient bird in the extinct genus Dasornis, which had a whopping 16-foot (5-meter) wingspan.

?Imagine a bird like an ocean-going goose almost the size of a small plane!? said Gerald Mayr of the Senckenberg Research Institute in Germany and a member of the team that studied the skull. ?By today?s standards, these were pretty bizarre animals, but perhaps the strangest thing about them is that they had sharp, tooth-like projections along the cutting edges of the beak.?


wow ..man eating ducks with teeth and chinese melamine in my milk....

wash that down with a bowl of genetically enhanced wheat flakes and a sip of gene modified tomato juice......

jump in my lead-free car and head off to my non-paying job.

welcome to the 21st century guys .. its a blast....



/btw...they say it tasted just like chicken.

 

[gardenweasel]

i think this is where the expression "DUCK!" came from....it may have been our ancestor's first word......:idea:

 

[gardenweasel]

a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ?has my brother been in here??...


the bartender responds, ?what does he look like??.....



:rimshot

 

[gardenweasel]

three guys get to heaven,bob, larry and spongy, and before they enter st. peter warns them "whatever you do don`t ever, ever, step on a duck...once one quacks, they all do, and they make a terrible racket"...

bob enters heaven and immediately steps on a duck....so an angel comes up to him and chains a large hairy ugly woman to him for eternity, and says " i told you not to step on a duck"....

the next week larry steps on a duck....an angel comes to him and chains a very ugly woman to him for eternity and says "i told you not to step on a duck".....

spongy hadn`t stepped on a duck since he had gotten into heaven, then one day an angel comes up to him and chains a beautiful supermodel to him....

he asked the model why she was there and she turned to him and said, " i don`t know what you did, but i stepped on a duck."......

 

[gardenweasel]

i was hunting one day near a local lake when i heard voices coming from beyond a sand hill......i climbed up the dune, and looking arround saw three ducks on the water below. ...a moment later, i again heard the voices and realized the ducks were talking...


amazed, i blurted out " you guys can talk?"..

one of the ducks looked up, and with a sigh said" yes, we are capable of intelligent conversation."..

"so, what are your names? what do you do?"iI asked.

the nearest duck said, "my name is 'quack',..i swim around on this lake all day...occasionally i dive under the water and blow bubbles."..

the second duck then said my name is 'quack quack'...i swim arround on this lake all day... occasionally i also dive under the water and blow bubbles."..

turning to the third duck, i asked, " are you 'quack quack quack?"..


"no," he replied, "i'm 'bubbles'."

 

[LetsMakeMoney]

have you been drinking GW lol :mj06:

 

[gardenweasel]

it`s 11:30....and i just got up.....


that says it all...

 

[Jabberwocky]

i was hunting one day near a local lake when i heard voices coming from beyond a sand hill......i climbed up the dune, and looking arround saw three ducks on the water below. ...a moment later, i again heard the voices and realized the ducks were talking...


amazed, i blurted out " you guys can talk?"..

one of the ducks looked up, and with a sigh said" yes, we are capable of intelligent conversation."..

"so, what are your names? what do you do?"iI asked.

the nearest duck said, "my name is 'quack',..i swim around on this lake all day...occasionally i dive under the water and blow bubbles."..

the second duck then said my name is 'quack quack'...i swim arround on this lake all day... occasionally i also dive under the water and blow bubbles."..

turning to the third duck, i asked, " are you 'quack quack quack?"..


"no," he replied, "i'm 'bubbles'."

the wife got a good laugh out of that one gw.

 

[IntenseOperator]

Procedure of Flash Fabrica Game:

1. Touch 'start'

2. Wait for 3, 2, 1.

3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number.

4. At the end of game, computer will tell you how old your brain is.

Good luck!

Let me know how old YOUR brain is!

:shrug:

http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

 

[IntenseOperator]

http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?vi...se_get_video_info=1&load_modules=1&autoplay=1

:director:

 

[MadJack]

Procedure of Flash Fabrica Game:

1. Touch 'start'

2. Wait for 3, 2, 1.

3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number.

4. At the end of game, computer will tell you how old your brain is.

Good luck!

Let me know how old YOUR brain is!

:shrug:

http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

33 :shrug:

 

[IntenseOperator]

Cannibal Restaurant


A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he walked in, sat down
and looked over the menu...

Raw Tourist: $5
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The guy called his Friend over and asked, 'Why such
a huge price difference for the politicians?

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."

 

[IntenseOperator]

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been
married.
She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint
sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut -glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a
condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer
resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about
this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking
through the Park a few months ago a and I found this little package on the
ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

 

[gardenweasel]

Procedure of Flash Fabrica Game:

1. Touch 'start'

2. Wait for 3, 2, 1.

3. Memorize the number's position on the screen, then click the circle from the smallest number to the biggest number.

4. At the end of game, computer will tell you how old your brain is.

Good luck!

Let me know how old YOUR brain is!

:shrug:

http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

older than the beatles(the lifeform,not the group).....