These are actual excuse notes from parents (including spelling)

Snake Plissken

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Mar 21, 2000
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The Island of Manhattan
*My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
*Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
*Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.
*Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
*Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
*John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
*Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
*Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
*Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
*Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
*Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
*Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
*Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
*Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
*Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
*My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
*Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
*Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
*Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
*Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
*Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
 

AR182

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Nov 9, 2000
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Scottsdale,AZ
These are very funny ! I wonder if the parents should replace their kids in school when they are out sick.
 
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