Like, moo.
The New Orleans Bowl wasn't exactly goin' my way, so I started riflin? through a box of Christmas crap what I got. Well, I came across this package of rubb... er... I mean, prophylactics, and they reminded me of an old friend. He sent ?em to me a coupla years back, along with tons of other cool crap because he lost a bet to me. A bet we made right here at Jack?s place. His handle was EyeBBad2, but yuz mightta known him as Squarecrow (he hadda a name change as a result of losing another bet). Anyway, I was thinkin? about him when I found this deal I wrote a coupla Christmas? back and I was thinkin? that maybe he?d see it. The resta yuz?ll just hafta deal with it.
?Twas a week before Christmas
And my good friend was hurried
Ya see, Santa was sick
And the elves was all worried
They?d lined up a stand-in
For the jolly old guy
But the surrogate Saint Nick
Was a drunk named Saint Eye!
When Eye was late checking in
The North Pole filled with dread
He finally sent them an e-mail
I?ll paraphrase what it said
?Lots to say,? he began,
?And oh so little time, but?
Can I get a little help, here?
This damn sleigh ain?t flyin?!?
When the elves solved his problem
Eye told his crew this,
?We?ve got a long trip ahead of us
Anybody gotta? you know, use the restroom??
So now I've got some ideas
That really oughtta be worth playin?,
I mean, Eye ain?t no Santa Claus
If ya know what I?m sayin?
Don?t leave out milk and cookies
Eye prefers Cutty Sark
And when he leaves your rooftop
You just might hear him bark
?On MJ! On Cally! On josh, Court and Te!
On Trinny! On Chels! On Auts and CC!?
Warn you family to keep silent
No TV and no phone
?Cause then if Eye can?t get airborne
Ya can pretend yuz ain?t home.
HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Health, happiness and everything good, Eye. Peace.
And that goes for alla the resta yuz, too!
Now come on North Texas!
The New Orleans Bowl wasn't exactly goin' my way, so I started riflin? through a box of Christmas crap what I got. Well, I came across this package of rubb... er... I mean, prophylactics, and they reminded me of an old friend. He sent ?em to me a coupla years back, along with tons of other cool crap because he lost a bet to me. A bet we made right here at Jack?s place. His handle was EyeBBad2, but yuz mightta known him as Squarecrow (he hadda a name change as a result of losing another bet). Anyway, I was thinkin? about him when I found this deal I wrote a coupla Christmas? back and I was thinkin? that maybe he?d see it. The resta yuz?ll just hafta deal with it.
?Twas a week before Christmas
And my good friend was hurried
Ya see, Santa was sick
And the elves was all worried
They?d lined up a stand-in
For the jolly old guy
But the surrogate Saint Nick
Was a drunk named Saint Eye!
When Eye was late checking in
The North Pole filled with dread
He finally sent them an e-mail
I?ll paraphrase what it said
?Lots to say,? he began,
?And oh so little time, but?
Can I get a little help, here?
This damn sleigh ain?t flyin?!?
When the elves solved his problem
Eye told his crew this,
?We?ve got a long trip ahead of us
Anybody gotta? you know, use the restroom??
So now I've got some ideas
That really oughtta be worth playin?,
I mean, Eye ain?t no Santa Claus
If ya know what I?m sayin?
Don?t leave out milk and cookies
Eye prefers Cutty Sark
And when he leaves your rooftop
You just might hear him bark
?On MJ! On Cally! On josh, Court and Te!
On Trinny! On Chels! On Auts and CC!?
Warn you family to keep silent
No TV and no phone
?Cause then if Eye can?t get airborne
Ya can pretend yuz ain?t home.
HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Health, happiness and everything good, Eye. Peace.
And that goes for alla the resta yuz, too!
Now come on North Texas!
