Two Black Eyes and A Golf Club

[barfly]

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf club wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"


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Make mine a Double!,
Barfly

 

[barfly]

Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "Since you're obviously much better than me, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'." The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it.

And off they went.

Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.

"What happened?" asked one of the members.

"Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed me while yelling 'Gotcha!'

Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"




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Make mine a Double!,
Barfly

 

[barfly]

The Worst Golf Foursome Ever:

1. Monica Lewinsky
2. OJ Simpson
3. Ted Kennedy
4. Bill Clinton

Why?

1. Monica Is A Hooker
2. OJ Is A Slicer
3. Ted Kennedy Can't Drive Over The Water
4. Bill Clinton Can't Remember Which Hole He Played Last!


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Make mine a Double!,
Barfly