"Urinal Etiquette Test"

MadJack

Administrator
Staff member
Forum Admin
Super Moderators
Channel Owner
Jul 13, 1999
104,763
1,402
113
69
home
I got ALL these right :D


The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the number will indicate "in use."

(Sample):

| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
-------------------------

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at
which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!

Easy Section

1.)

| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------



Your choice: ___

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.

===============================================

2.)

| x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------

Your choice: ___

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
greater risk of being next to someone
who arrives later.

===============================================

Kind of tricky Section:

3.)



| | | | | | | (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
--------------------------

Your choice: __

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying,
"I don't want anyone next to me."
===============================================

4.)

| | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------



Your choice: ___

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at
least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if you
can help it. Exceptions to this
are stadium restrooms where the
herd thunders in.

===============================================


Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section

5.)



| | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------

Your choice: __

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples"
you with the guy in stall 2. And we
wouldn't want THAT now, would we?

This differs from question 4 in such a
subtle way that the nuances cannot be
explained. Suffice to say, only we men
would understand!

===============================================

VERY tricky indeed Section

6.)



| x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------



Your choice: ___

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to
comb your hair or straighten a tie
until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
god's sake! ... use a doored stall.
===============================================

Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of
the highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
you there. I will not look again".
 

yyz

Under .500
Forum Member
Mar 16, 2000
41,965
1,589
113
On the course!
Some of these answers are, sadly, flawed.

(I remember you posting this quiz a couple years ago!)


When you enter a multi-urinal bathroom, always take a wall spot. The reasons, as previously stated, are to reduce the amount of people you will be next to.

If you enter an empty bathroom, take the first urinal as you enter. This takes you off of "front street". You will get the initial glance from all who enter, but they must walk past you, rather than towards you, which cuts down on the embarrassing "pecker glance". Also, when you are done, you don't need to worry about parading past the troops, and getting caught looking in the wrong direction yourself! Eye contact is a no-no.....period!

Some other no-no's:

Don't stand in the urinal! Getting right up in the fuhker is a dead give away that you are embarrassed by the size of your schmeckle! (And not because your hung, Buff Studly!) Guys aren't going to "sneak a peak", so don't worry about that. But, a guy hunkering down to the plate to piss, is a site that can't go unnoticed, no matter where the other patrons are looking!

The other dead give away, is the "shitter piss". This is using a toilet stall to piss, when there are still open urinals. This is very un-manly, and you might as well take a seat, and at least give the illusion of shitting!

Remember, with the exception of a few "Bath house Bob's", most guys want to get in and get out.....None of us are comfortable in there!
 

Blitz

Hopeful
Forum Member
Jan 6, 2002
7,540
46
48
58
North of Titletown AKA Boston
Jack, I have to disagree with you on situation # 5... in that situation you have to take urinal #1, if you take #4 there is the possibility of being surrounded...you almost never can go wrong with a wall on one side of you. :drinky:
:director: STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!
 
Bet on MyBookie
Top