... so that we can bring you the following important announcement.
I am Unholycow and I approve this message.
Intelligence reports in and around Bovinia are now confirming that the excitement generated by the victories of three teams which are considered "sexy" by the general public will be short-lived. The three-headed pretender known as the St. Minnapolis Colvikrams, barring unforeseen circumstances, will be eliminated without pardon this weekend by a combined thirty points, give or take a touchdown. As has been reported from respected handicapping networks elsewhere, these teams are seriously flawed defensively and at the conference semifinal level of competition deficiencies of this nature have a way of becoming magnified.
** A recent exchange between players at the Club Flush **
JOEY: Uh, ya know, Cow, I think yuz should oughtta remember that there ain't no D in Super Bowl Champions.
COW: True. However, I believe you'll find plenty of D in shaddup ya stupid dumbass bastid.
Bottom-lining the games for yuz:
NYJ 34?
PIT 8?
Look! Both teams have a defense! Hence, both seem to belong, ya savvy? They're tough, balanced and professional. The Steelers have the better team, but New York may have the better quarterback and that will be a concern for Coach Cowher. Conservative offenses make getting more than a TD look good. And that Under!
UNDER 34? for 2 units anda two-teamer with NYJ +8? & UNDER 34? for 1 unit
STL 48
ATL 7
MIN 47
PHI 8
IND 52
NE 2
At one game over .500 the Rams are somehow able to appear cocky! That's like giving motivation to a steamroller before it's big matchup against the carton of eggs. And if yuz think Mike Martz is excited by his team's chances, beware, that's just an inflated ego in his pocket.
If it weren't for desire, heart and class the Vikings would have it all. Watch this game carefully and you should be able to see the intensity-level of them what're in purple dropping whilst the game is still in the first half. Disgusting.
Looking for bidness as usual in New England. More than any other, this game'll be a chess match. By the way, Bill Bellichek is a grand master and, uh, Marchibroda can't remember how the horses move. The Pats'll have this won on the chalkboard. Bidness as usual.
ATL -7
PHI -8
NE -2
3 units each, ya dig?
Psst. Swami, IE, Barfly, Loophole, Redsfann, BahamaMama, DTB, Prospector. Anybody hear me? Am I in the right place? Hey, Squarecrow! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
Besta luck, you bums.
BARTENDER!
I am Unholycow and I approve this message.
Intelligence reports in and around Bovinia are now confirming that the excitement generated by the victories of three teams which are considered "sexy" by the general public will be short-lived. The three-headed pretender known as the St. Minnapolis Colvikrams, barring unforeseen circumstances, will be eliminated without pardon this weekend by a combined thirty points, give or take a touchdown. As has been reported from respected handicapping networks elsewhere, these teams are seriously flawed defensively and at the conference semifinal level of competition deficiencies of this nature have a way of becoming magnified.
** A recent exchange between players at the Club Flush **
JOEY: Uh, ya know, Cow, I think yuz should oughtta remember that there ain't no D in Super Bowl Champions.
COW: True. However, I believe you'll find plenty of D in shaddup ya stupid dumbass bastid.
Bottom-lining the games for yuz:
NYJ 34?
PIT 8?
Look! Both teams have a defense! Hence, both seem to belong, ya savvy? They're tough, balanced and professional. The Steelers have the better team, but New York may have the better quarterback and that will be a concern for Coach Cowher. Conservative offenses make getting more than a TD look good. And that Under!
UNDER 34? for 2 units anda two-teamer with NYJ +8? & UNDER 34? for 1 unit
STL 48
ATL 7
MIN 47
PHI 8
IND 52
NE 2
At one game over .500 the Rams are somehow able to appear cocky! That's like giving motivation to a steamroller before it's big matchup against the carton of eggs. And if yuz think Mike Martz is excited by his team's chances, beware, that's just an inflated ego in his pocket.
If it weren't for desire, heart and class the Vikings would have it all. Watch this game carefully and you should be able to see the intensity-level of them what're in purple dropping whilst the game is still in the first half. Disgusting.
Looking for bidness as usual in New England. More than any other, this game'll be a chess match. By the way, Bill Bellichek is a grand master and, uh, Marchibroda can't remember how the horses move. The Pats'll have this won on the chalkboard. Bidness as usual.
ATL -7
PHI -8
NE -2
3 units each, ya dig?
Psst. Swami, IE, Barfly, Loophole, Redsfann, BahamaMama, DTB, Prospector. Anybody hear me? Am I in the right place? Hey, Squarecrow! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
Besta luck, you bums.
BARTENDER!
