What exactly are friends for?
First of all, they hang out with us and help enjoy the good times.
Second, they help pull us through the hard times that we face in life.
And lastly, they introduce us to people we can hook up with. That is
one of the most important and least appreciated functions that friends
serve.
As far as I'm concerned the mark of a good friend isn't that he or she "was
there for me when I needed it
most". My best friend is the one who has provided me with the most access to
a piece of ass
over the last ten years.
Think about your entire history of relationships... Every person you dated
long term, short term, prison term, and every random hook-up in between..
The vast majority of those relationships were with someone you met through a
common friend. Very rarely do you find a couple who met randomly at a bar.
Most couples met through a friend, a friend of a friend, or a relative.
The reason most relationships begin this way is what I call the "V4
Principle."
"V4" is short for "Vouch For" and it is this reason that the majority of
people in America get laid.
Say you're out on a Friday night and you see a cute brunette at the bar. You
approach her, make small talk, and attempt to pick her up. To you she's a
hottie with dating potential. To her you're just another one of the drunken
masses out there trying to score some ass.
Now take the same situation as before, but when you see her at the bar she
is talking to your best friend's girlfriend. Now when you approach you're
SOMEBODY, as opposed to the NOBODY you were before.
The girl at the bar has a reference point for you and your best friend's
girlfriend is there to
vouch for you "Oh, that's Fred. He's Mike's best friend. They work together
at the law firm. He's a real sweetie, and he's sooo cute when he's drunk.
"See how it works? You're the same drunken ass either way, but now
you're perceived as charming.
So, if friends are largely responsible for our hook-ups, how does one
improve his odds? Simple, just use this handy dandy friendship reference
guide that follows to determine who you should hang out with more and
which friends to discard:
1.) Married Friends - Don't have any. They only hang out with other
miserably married couples and they constantly
attempt to pull the rest of us into their pit of despair. There is no ass
for you here.
2.) Friends Who Work In The Service Industry - Hold on to these. People who
work in restaurants, bars, retail, and the like tend to have a plethora of
same aged single people to kick it with. They are laid back and don't
work until noon, so they're always up for a night out. Also, all hostesses
are easy.
3.) Friends Who Do A lot of Drugs -Keepers. Whether you do drugs or not is
irrelevant. People who do a lot of drugs tend to hang out with other people
who do a lot of drugs... and, chicks who do a lot of drugs tend to be
easy.
4.) Religious Friends - No! No! No! All of their friends are usually
bible-thumpers as well, and a meeting a group of hot Baptists is like going
to your favorite bar without any money. You can look all you want, but
you can't have anything.
5.) Strippers/Pimps - If you have any friends who are strippers or pimps you
must contact me immediately. Please let me know where you'll be this
weekend...
First of all, they hang out with us and help enjoy the good times.
Second, they help pull us through the hard times that we face in life.
And lastly, they introduce us to people we can hook up with. That is
one of the most important and least appreciated functions that friends
serve.
As far as I'm concerned the mark of a good friend isn't that he or she "was
there for me when I needed it
most". My best friend is the one who has provided me with the most access to
a piece of ass
over the last ten years.
Think about your entire history of relationships... Every person you dated
long term, short term, prison term, and every random hook-up in between..
The vast majority of those relationships were with someone you met through a
common friend. Very rarely do you find a couple who met randomly at a bar.
Most couples met through a friend, a friend of a friend, or a relative.
The reason most relationships begin this way is what I call the "V4
Principle."
"V4" is short for "Vouch For" and it is this reason that the majority of
people in America get laid.
Say you're out on a Friday night and you see a cute brunette at the bar. You
approach her, make small talk, and attempt to pick her up. To you she's a
hottie with dating potential. To her you're just another one of the drunken
masses out there trying to score some ass.
Now take the same situation as before, but when you see her at the bar she
is talking to your best friend's girlfriend. Now when you approach you're
SOMEBODY, as opposed to the NOBODY you were before.
The girl at the bar has a reference point for you and your best friend's
girlfriend is there to
vouch for you "Oh, that's Fred. He's Mike's best friend. They work together
at the law firm. He's a real sweetie, and he's sooo cute when he's drunk.
"See how it works? You're the same drunken ass either way, but now
you're perceived as charming.
So, if friends are largely responsible for our hook-ups, how does one
improve his odds? Simple, just use this handy dandy friendship reference
guide that follows to determine who you should hang out with more and
which friends to discard:
1.) Married Friends - Don't have any. They only hang out with other
miserably married couples and they constantly
attempt to pull the rest of us into their pit of despair. There is no ass
for you here.
2.) Friends Who Work In The Service Industry - Hold on to these. People who
work in restaurants, bars, retail, and the like tend to have a plethora of
same aged single people to kick it with. They are laid back and don't
work until noon, so they're always up for a night out. Also, all hostesses
are easy.
3.) Friends Who Do A lot of Drugs -Keepers. Whether you do drugs or not is
irrelevant. People who do a lot of drugs tend to hang out with other people
who do a lot of drugs... and, chicks who do a lot of drugs tend to be
easy.
4.) Religious Friends - No! No! No! All of their friends are usually
bible-thumpers as well, and a meeting a group of hot Baptists is like going
to your favorite bar without any money. You can look all you want, but
you can't have anything.
5.) Strippers/Pimps - If you have any friends who are strippers or pimps you
must contact me immediately. Please let me know where you'll be this
weekend...
