When is it Time?

[Betone]

I know that some here have a parent living with them and may be able to help me out as I have been tossing this back and forth in my mind for over the past year.

Mom is 80, lives in an adult community 5 hours away,(not assisted living), as she wants to be close to her great grand children. This all would be great except that my half sister that lives 20 minutes away from Mom never checks on her, and also rarely takes the great grand children to visit mom.

Mom fell last evening at a senior community event and was taken to the ER. Later released and all she said was that she lost oxygen to the brain causing her to fall.

I pay a lady to take her to all of her doctor appointments and the errands...grocery store, beauty salon and cleaning her apartment. Yet, would feel better if she was with us.

Is it time for me to insist that she move in here so that we can watch after her? Will she be resentful if I mandate this move? Mom has always been independent and has lived by herself for over 20 years. When is it time for this decision? Anyone had to make a similar decision? Thanks in advance :0008

 

[MadJack]

My mom agreed that it would be best to live with us so I guess I can't offer help. My mom is 82 and moved in 10 years ago. I'm gonna have to take her car away from her soon and am not looking forward to that. :scared

Let her make up her own mind. :shrug:

 

[Betone]

My mom agreed that it would be best to live with us so I guess I can't offer help. My mom is 82 and moved in 10 years ago. I'm gonna have to take her car away from her soon and am not looking forward to that. :scared

Let her make up her own mind. :shrug:

Your right, I should just leave the decision up to her. And.. Good luck taking your Mom's car away:lol:

I always worry if I am doing the right thing. Not sure why I worry so damn much, she has made it 80 years without my supervision.:0008

 

[Amethyest]

Perhaps i should not reply , yet i will........all i have,and want to say,is that i would do anything for my mom.......especially if that means having her with me that much longer :0008

 

[Redhog]

Perhaps i should not reply , yet i will........all i have,and want to say,is that i would do anything for my mom.......especially if that means having her with me that much longer :0008

Wow....That's powerful, and puts things in perspective

 

[PocketAces]

She is lucky to have such a great option.

I agree with the others. Offer and let mom decide.

 

[The Boys]

I know that some here have a parent living with them and may be able to help me out as I have been tossing this back and forth in my mind for over the past year.

Mom is 80, lives in an adult community 5 hours away,(not assisted living), as she wants to be close to her great grand children. This all would be great except that my half sister that lives 20 minutes away from Mom never checks on her, and also rarely takes the great grand children to visit mom.

Mom fell last evening at a senior community event and was taken to the ER. Later released and all she said was that she lost oxygen to the brain causing her to fall.

I pay a lady to take her to all of her doctor appointments and the errands...grocery store, beauty salon and cleaning her apartment. Yet, would feel better if she was with us.

Is it time for me to insist that she move in here so that we can watch after her? Will she be resentful if I mandate this move? Mom has always been independent and has lived by herself for over 20 years. When is it time for this decision? Anyone had to make a similar decision? Thanks in advance :0008

Think about moving her closer to you in an assisted living community, or at least give her the option??

 

[Betone]

Think about moving her closer to you in an assisted living community, or at least give her the option??

We have looked into this, and Mom does not want to go into assisted living. I will just wait and let her make the decision. I am concerned that if she has a dizzy spell and falls in the night she could have life threatening injuries and then I would kick myself for not making the decision for her to move in with us. I guess it is ultimately Mom's decision to make and I just need to back away and let her live her life as she wishes. :0008

 

[Lumi]

You certainly have a tough decision ahead of you Betone.

I can have our Regional Salesman Check your area for the top rated Assisted Living homes for you.

 

[The Boys]

We have looked into this, and Mom does not want to go into assisted living. I will just wait and let her make the decision. I am concerned that if she has a dizzy spell and falls in the night she could have life threatening injuries and then I would kick myself for not making the decision for her to move in with us. I guess it is ultimately Mom's decision to make and I just need to back away and let her live her life as she wishes. :0008

So, moving her in with you isn't assisted living? How does your wife feels about your Mother moving in? I love my Mother, but she would drive me crazy. Having her move in with me would be the very last resort.............I would have a few options before moving her in. This is just my opinion though. My mom is 89, she drives and still works. So maybe you shouldn't listen to me, good luck....:0074

 

[The Mover]

Very, very tough decision. Never had to handle this decision but my wife did with her mother. 1st it took all of us about 6-8 mo. to convince her to sell her 3 bdrm. condo & gave her the choice of moving in with us or assisted living. My mother-inlaw ( now deceased) very independent chose assisted living. It was only 10-15 miles from our home even shorter for my wife's other siblings. But one of us were over their every day to check up on her. I would of done anything for my mother-inlaw to make her comfortable, she was 89 or 90 when she passed. Wish you & your mother the best !

 

[The Sponge]

We have looked into this, and Mom does not want to go into assisted living. I will just wait and let her make the decision. I am concerned that if she has a dizzy spell and falls in the night she could have life threatening injuries and then I would kick myself for not making the decision for her to move in with us. I guess it is ultimately Mom's decision to make and I just need to back away and let her live her life as she wishes. :0008

i don't know if ur mom is anything like mine but my mom will lie just so she isn't a burden on others. It drives me nuts. I know if my father dies it will take wild horses just to get her to live with me or one of my family members. Not because she doesn't want to but because she will think she is this huge burden. :facepalm: By the way getting old suks.

 

[The Sponge]

So, moving her in with you isn't assisted living? How does your wife feels about your Mother moving in? I love my Mother, but she would drive me crazy. Having her move in with me would be the very last resort.............I would have a few options before moving her in. This is just my opinion though. My mom is 89, she drives and still works. So maybe you shouldn't listen to me, good luck....:0074

If ur mom moved in would u have to spend a little money on her and have to move down a level to a Lexus instead of a Mercedes?

 

[The Boys]

If ur mom moved in would u have to spend a little money on her and have to move down a level to a Lexus instead of a Mercedes?

No, she's loaded..........:SIB