First off I am taking a small break from capping due to some real hard times that I am going through right now. However I still love this forum and most of the folks in it and have a great time here.
Anyway, I thought this would be a neat thread as I don't believe I have seen it done yet.
So without further adieu...
Here are a list of the worst songs in my opinon ever created. This list of musical abortions was carefully thought out. Chime in!!!
In no particular order...
1. "Heartbeat" by Don Johnson. The lyrics sound as if they wallowed around in artificial butter-flavored popcorn. The guitars flailed as if they found a couple of tone-deaf 7th graders to play backgrounds in exchange for a couple swigs of beer. I guess Don's agent figured that if people would watch Miami Vice and run around in polyester sport coats and pink undershirts; they would surely listen to this abomination. Download this one sometime and put it on a CD. It is sure to scare away unwanted visitors such as trick or treaters and Vacum Cleaner salesman.
2. "I adore Mi Amor" by Color Me Badd. Groups such as Color Me Badd, Boyz 2 Men, New Kids on the Block and others helped usher in the real 7th deadly plague on this world in the form of what we coin "Boy Bands". It is no wonder that these hucksters only made one album that sold any records and that their other ones that followed could only be found in flea markets and in Singapore. I think a 6th grader could have written better lyrics than that cesspool of musical vomit they tried to feed us.
3. "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids on the Block. I mean come on, what is really tough about 5 teenage white kids from the mean streets of Boston with too much mousse in their hair?
"Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance....Just get on the floor and do the New Kids Dance...."
I think you get the picture. No wonder Mark Wahlberg went on to have a successful movie career and saw Heather Graham's Boobies. He did not want to be the other member of the New Kids on the Block. Kinda like being the 5th Beatle but without all the embarassment.
4. "Kokomo" by the Beach boys. How lame can you truly be when your video features John Stamos? Is that the best you can do is get some guy with big hair that was playing 3rd lead on an awful friday nite sitcom to come in and play a fake trumpet? I could only imagine the women I would get blasting Kokomo in my car as I cruised the boardwalk. Maybe Martha Stewart loves me afterall. I really do not know what the purpose of this song was other than maybe to remind the world that the Beach Boys quit making music in the 60's for a real good reason.
5. "Into the night" by Benny Mardones. I don't know about you, but a song about a 40 year old man taking a 16 year old girl to places she's never been to before (and I am sure he was not talking about the DMV) kinda creeps me out. But somehow this song kept finding it's way back onto the charts the same way a collection agent keeps finding you for not paying off your Providian Visa card...
6. "Macarena". Do I really need to explain???
7. "Achy breaky Heart". by Billy Ray Cyrus. guy looks like the fat Baldwin brother and sounds like a crooner. I don't know much about country music other than it gives me the sudden urge to vomit. But just by looking at that guy I can see why he is always heartbroken.
8. "Express yourself" by Bruce Willis. I guess he had to find something to do between episodes of Moonlighting and filming Die Hard. Why did he and Don Johnson never team up to record that hit record we never heard of. His voice sucked so bad he could not sing jingles for your local mattress outlet.
9. "My Heart will Go On" by Celine Dion. Maybe if I liked to read Elle magazine and watch lots of MTV and hang out at Jenny Craig and drive a Chevy Sprint I would have found this song appealing. Titanic sucked bad enough so why add insult to injury? I find it real romantic to hear a song playing while I watch some guy freeze to death in the Atlantic Ocean.
10. "Wind beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler. I think the only reason I cried when I first heard this song is because of the dog's howling so loud that it hurt my ears. It is bad enough she makes crap movies and made some real horrible sitcoms. No, she had to contaminate the radio waves too with her spew. I think this is the anthem of overeaters anonymous and women who want to blame chocolate for all their misgivings.
Ok here are some other ones that really suck but I don't have as good an explaination.
Truly Madly Deeply -Savage Garden
High Enough -Damn Yankees
Everything I do -Bryan Adams
When I see you Smile- Bad English
I'd really love to see you tonite-England Dan Jon ford Coley
Maniac -Michael Sembello
Have I told you lately-Rod Stewart
Slide -Goo Goo Dolls
Wannabe -spice Girls
I write the songs -Barry Manilow
MMMM Bob -Hanson
Anyway, I thought this would be a neat thread as I don't believe I have seen it done yet.
So without further adieu...
Here are a list of the worst songs in my opinon ever created. This list of musical abortions was carefully thought out. Chime in!!!
In no particular order...
1. "Heartbeat" by Don Johnson. The lyrics sound as if they wallowed around in artificial butter-flavored popcorn. The guitars flailed as if they found a couple of tone-deaf 7th graders to play backgrounds in exchange for a couple swigs of beer. I guess Don's agent figured that if people would watch Miami Vice and run around in polyester sport coats and pink undershirts; they would surely listen to this abomination. Download this one sometime and put it on a CD. It is sure to scare away unwanted visitors such as trick or treaters and Vacum Cleaner salesman.
2. "I adore Mi Amor" by Color Me Badd. Groups such as Color Me Badd, Boyz 2 Men, New Kids on the Block and others helped usher in the real 7th deadly plague on this world in the form of what we coin "Boy Bands". It is no wonder that these hucksters only made one album that sold any records and that their other ones that followed could only be found in flea markets and in Singapore. I think a 6th grader could have written better lyrics than that cesspool of musical vomit they tried to feed us.
3. "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids on the Block. I mean come on, what is really tough about 5 teenage white kids from the mean streets of Boston with too much mousse in their hair?
"Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance....Just get on the floor and do the New Kids Dance...."
I think you get the picture. No wonder Mark Wahlberg went on to have a successful movie career and saw Heather Graham's Boobies. He did not want to be the other member of the New Kids on the Block. Kinda like being the 5th Beatle but without all the embarassment.
4. "Kokomo" by the Beach boys. How lame can you truly be when your video features John Stamos? Is that the best you can do is get some guy with big hair that was playing 3rd lead on an awful friday nite sitcom to come in and play a fake trumpet? I could only imagine the women I would get blasting Kokomo in my car as I cruised the boardwalk. Maybe Martha Stewart loves me afterall. I really do not know what the purpose of this song was other than maybe to remind the world that the Beach Boys quit making music in the 60's for a real good reason.
5. "Into the night" by Benny Mardones. I don't know about you, but a song about a 40 year old man taking a 16 year old girl to places she's never been to before (and I am sure he was not talking about the DMV) kinda creeps me out. But somehow this song kept finding it's way back onto the charts the same way a collection agent keeps finding you for not paying off your Providian Visa card...
6. "Macarena". Do I really need to explain???
7. "Achy breaky Heart". by Billy Ray Cyrus. guy looks like the fat Baldwin brother and sounds like a crooner. I don't know much about country music other than it gives me the sudden urge to vomit. But just by looking at that guy I can see why he is always heartbroken.
8. "Express yourself" by Bruce Willis. I guess he had to find something to do between episodes of Moonlighting and filming Die Hard. Why did he and Don Johnson never team up to record that hit record we never heard of. His voice sucked so bad he could not sing jingles for your local mattress outlet.
9. "My Heart will Go On" by Celine Dion. Maybe if I liked to read Elle magazine and watch lots of MTV and hang out at Jenny Craig and drive a Chevy Sprint I would have found this song appealing. Titanic sucked bad enough so why add insult to injury? I find it real romantic to hear a song playing while I watch some guy freeze to death in the Atlantic Ocean.
10. "Wind beneath my Wings" by Bette Midler. I think the only reason I cried when I first heard this song is because of the dog's howling so loud that it hurt my ears. It is bad enough she makes crap movies and made some real horrible sitcoms. No, she had to contaminate the radio waves too with her spew. I think this is the anthem of overeaters anonymous and women who want to blame chocolate for all their misgivings.
Ok here are some other ones that really suck but I don't have as good an explaination.
Truly Madly Deeply -Savage Garden
High Enough -Damn Yankees
Everything I do -Bryan Adams
When I see you Smile- Bad English
I'd really love to see you tonite-England Dan Jon ford Coley
Maniac -Michael Sembello
Have I told you lately-Rod Stewart
Slide -Goo Goo Dolls
Wannabe -spice Girls
I write the songs -Barry Manilow
MMMM Bob -Hanson
