I write a farce every year in our league under the pen name Redneck Jones.
I think I outdid myself this year..behold
I made it back just in time from my year sabbatical from the Himlaysas where I smoked some classic weed with the Dalia Lama himself. Man that fuc*&er can get lite up! I saw him rise from the floor and float thru the air, well I digress. Anyway I have came away with a new perspective about Coach King and the Vipers (now don't get me wrong I still think he sucks and his franchise sure does resemble the Bengals, but I digress) and feel almost sad and sorry for him.
You see it can't be any more cruel than this year after starting 0-3 and having probably the WORST DRAFT of any team all time. Even worse than the 1990 Conqs picking ALL BENGALS or the 1990 REBELS?DILDOS picking all WHITES! Then winning 8 of 11 and still not making the playoffs ( ha ha mutherf(*&er I told you I still didn't like him) can only make him THINK he had a chance.
That is where the cruelty sets in. I mean did the little SOB REALLY think he was going to the playoffs and SUPER BOWL with that fui&in team!. By the way if you think I cuse a lot you should hear the Dalai Lama coming down off his high, wow that SOB used words only Ghandi or Mohammed knows!
Anyway, what a sad and desperate situation we have in VIPERLAND. Thanks to an undisclosed source (thanks Crickets) the VIPER/STUD/MALLER and what ever the f(*&K he has called himself has only made the PLAYOFFS 3 times in 18 years is that right? WOW, only a record Mike Brown can envy!
Not only is 8 not enough in the FFL he only wishes he had 8 somewhere else to please Michelle! I mean she is a SAINT to put up with all of his BS and Football disappointments. I heard once thru another source (thanks Michelle) that after a tough loss he likes for her to stick a corn cob up his arse to remind him of how awful it hurts after a loss. What a sick SOB? I mean I knew he took this seriuosly but please way TMI.
Finally, what can you really say. ANother season over no playoffs, no Super Bowl and waiting for next year , again!
I heard from another source (thanks to his Cuz Bill for this one) that he has stocked up for the winter with DVD's of dogs doing chicks just so he can get the feel of it! One sick SOB if you ask me!
Redneck Jones
Beat Reporter Verona Daily
I think I outdid myself this year..behold
I made it back just in time from my year sabbatical from the Himlaysas where I smoked some classic weed with the Dalia Lama himself. Man that fuc*&er can get lite up! I saw him rise from the floor and float thru the air, well I digress. Anyway I have came away with a new perspective about Coach King and the Vipers (now don't get me wrong I still think he sucks and his franchise sure does resemble the Bengals, but I digress) and feel almost sad and sorry for him.
You see it can't be any more cruel than this year after starting 0-3 and having probably the WORST DRAFT of any team all time. Even worse than the 1990 Conqs picking ALL BENGALS or the 1990 REBELS?DILDOS picking all WHITES! Then winning 8 of 11 and still not making the playoffs ( ha ha mutherf(*&er I told you I still didn't like him) can only make him THINK he had a chance.
That is where the cruelty sets in. I mean did the little SOB REALLY think he was going to the playoffs and SUPER BOWL with that fui&in team!. By the way if you think I cuse a lot you should hear the Dalai Lama coming down off his high, wow that SOB used words only Ghandi or Mohammed knows!
Anyway, what a sad and desperate situation we have in VIPERLAND. Thanks to an undisclosed source (thanks Crickets) the VIPER/STUD/MALLER and what ever the f(*&K he has called himself has only made the PLAYOFFS 3 times in 18 years is that right? WOW, only a record Mike Brown can envy!
Not only is 8 not enough in the FFL he only wishes he had 8 somewhere else to please Michelle! I mean she is a SAINT to put up with all of his BS and Football disappointments. I heard once thru another source (thanks Michelle) that after a tough loss he likes for her to stick a corn cob up his arse to remind him of how awful it hurts after a loss. What a sick SOB? I mean I knew he took this seriuosly but please way TMI.
Finally, what can you really say. ANother season over no playoffs, no Super Bowl and waiting for next year , again!
I heard from another source (thanks to his Cuz Bill for this one) that he has stocked up for the winter with DVD's of dogs doing chicks just so he can get the feel of it! One sick SOB if you ask me!
Redneck Jones
Beat Reporter Verona Daily
