20 YEARS SOBER TODAY

Old School

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20 YEARS AGO TODAY ..


I took back control of my life..

Every sober day is special...but today I could cry tears of joy all day .

True "bottom" is an abyss unlike any feeling that a human being can experience.

I post this account of my "bottom" and climb out in hopes of helping others ..

As to help someone avoid the absolute worthlessness that comes with addiction.

MY LIFE............more important to me with each and every passing day..

Dec. 9, 1996
OAKLAND 26, Kansas City 7

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The last football game I ever watched while drinking..

A broken down drunk sipped on a $1.00 draft beer knowing it had to be last consumption of alcohol in any form in order for life to continue.
A night unlike any other in my entire life .Sitting alone in a booth instead of at the bar with the all the guys and girls for Monday Night Football I peered into my past,the present and an unforeseen future.Rock bottom had finally arrived.With every sip of that draft I glanced at the tv screen then towards the horseshoe bar and then at the front door.

Time stood still as I sipped on the beverage that I had allowed to ruin not only my life but unfortunately the life's of many others.Fear,anxiety and worthlessness swept over me worse than ever before as the glass began to empty with every swallow.The recollections of two broken marriages mired in countless arguements with those spouses raced through my mind.The failed career and loss of respect among my peers reflected in what was now a nearly empty 20oz beer glass.Lieing,cheating and broken promises were my drinking buddies that Monday Night.Just like they had been for far to many years. But this night we would be the last night we would hang out together.

I don't remember the very last swallow of alcohol that night but I do remember standing up reaching into my pocket to make sure of the time and date written on the card for my court appointed rehab stint to start.

I had no idea what lie ahead of me as I took a glance back at the crowded bar while exiting through one of many doors that had been an entrance into my self-inflicted destruction.

Lieing,cheating and broken promises still occupied the booth from which I had just left. A single swallow of alcohol still nestled in the bottom of the beer glass that I had purposely left as a signal to myself that I could walk away from my demon of self destruction screamed at me to return.That same demon who I had allowed to control my very existence to a point where one was to many and a thousand were never enough once again called to me.Why shouldn't it..More times than I can recall the enticement of "Good Time Charlie" was all I needed to continue the downward spiral.No,not this time.The door closed behind me and I walked to my truck toward what I hoped would be the last time alcohol would control my life.

That Tuesday Dec 10,1996 was the very first day of my recovery.A self appointed day to arrive on Wed. Dec. 11th at the start of rehab without alcohol in my system.

A year of rehab and countless AA Meetings were the beginning of a new life...A rebirth to which I celebrate my birthday of sobriety.
Dec.10th 1996
Happy Birthday to me..:00hour


Over the years here with all of you I here I have added what comes to mind with the passing of the years ..

Those same words hold true forever..
I repost the words I wrote some years back in hopes that the words might encourage those who need help and also persuade those with happy and healthy lives to steer those in their lives who need help to seek it out.

The Demons of Addiction ruin lives each and every minute of each and every day.

The National news of late concerning athletes and actors involved with drugs and alcohol is a front page account of what happens when alcohol and or drugs control our thought process.

These people who kill or are killed could just as easy be our sons,daughters,wives or husbands..They could be the next door friend of twenty years who for years has meant no harm but drives home from the bar 2 nights a week while legally over the limit...and one night he ruins the lives of others and his or her own.

All this ruin comes from not facing The Demons.

Below is a little of my story..I hope all who have opened this thread will read this for the first time or re-read it again.

for those who can still enjoy drinks and or cold ones and still live that healthy life I say hurray..How fortunate you are.I would ask that you remember this on each occasion that you choose to consume.And on those days continue to be aware of your safety and the safety of your loved ones,friends and all those around you.
Furthermore I would ask that who look out for those who consume to much and take the appropriate
action so as they not hurt themselves or others in a needless accident that can mean the loss of life.

Have a safe and happy holiday and be sure to hug the ones ya love..

next thing ya know you are 66 years old and you want to know how in the heck did the time pass by so quickly..

we have several members who chose to change their lives for the better and to you I say...
:00hour :00hour :00hour :00hour

Have a super day everybody..
 
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MadJack

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Congratulations, Michael. Thanks for sharing.
 

Englishman

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This is the sort of thing that really impresses me.

Well done and many congratulations.

I know I could learn a lot from your strength and self discipline. My demons are a bit different, but no less destructive.

I wish you great happiness, you deserve it.

You have earned it.
 
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