scorecard playoffs blow, but since I already wrapped up the doormat prize, I shouldn't have any input.
2nd annual madjacks golf outing??? sponsored by betcris!
- Thread starter Handi Capper
- Start date
In all seriousness, it was nice to meet you SixFive. I did manage to steer clear of HandiCapper in the poker room. He's quite the card stud!
No clue where to start but at the beginning...
I check in about 7PM Friday night, get on the elevator and the 1st person I see is Jack! He had just picked up his wife. Of course I knew him from Internet photos so I say, "Hi Jack, it's me!". Of course I get this blank look like, "Who the frick is this guy" so I introduce myself as Nole. Turns out he 's right across the hall from me. Informs me kosar has the last room on the right. It was a 1/2 mile to my room. kosar had 3/4 mile.
Go to the poker room and see rolltide, another Internet celebrity. Introduce myself and then he points out quite a few MJ members.
I then had the pleasure of meeting Handicapper. I swear he had 3 chips when I walked up but he hung tough and ended up at the final table friday night. After golf Saturday, he was there in the parking lot with this big ole shit-eating grin. I asked what he was grinning about. He cleared $990.00 in a poker tourney while we were sweating our nuts off! Then Jack gives him a few b-day presents and we sang happy b-day. Alan, take care my new friend. Keep kicking ass at those tables!
I meet 6-5. There is a reason he's called 6-5. Freaking tall! Congrats on your craps success! Did I hear you went back after we cashed out Saturday night and picked up a few more bucks? Awesome! Tommy and I had back-to-back great rolls! I love playing that game.
At 3AM, I notice Jack at the bar with some of the MJ alumni. nole makes his entrance to the bar. I come up behind kosar and absolutely shatter a freaking wine glass in to a million pieces. Was there ever a louder glass breaking? Holy crap! 30 heads turn and I'm like, "Hi, I'm nole!" freaking embarassing!
Got to bed around 415AM.
Met Tommy at the buffet Saturday. Munched on that for a while and then off we go to the golf course. Not sure if you heard but it was HOT!!!!!!! Rolltide had the pimp-daddy set-up in his SUV. I'll bring toothpicks next year buddy.
Rolltide, how fun was golf? Did we tear up the back 9 or what? We all had our shots when needed but Scuba Steve really carried us. "The power of Crown will compel you!" Freaking hilarious! I look forward to some more golf with you down the road. The score won't matter. The Crown will!
It took 5 hours and 20 mins to play that round of golf. Felt like 5 hours and 10 mins really. :mj07:
We damn near had to shine headlights on the 18th didn't we?
3 way tie. Who would have thunk it? Great job on making up those teams Jack. It's actually quite amazing you pulled that off.
Jack, thank you for the nice words you said to me Saturday before I went upstairs. We are truly a family in some ways. Thanks very much to you and betcris for sponsoring the tourney. I can't believe I ended up getting my 2 nights comped, my food comped, my golf comped. I was out of pocket for drinks in the casino and gas money. Tough gig.
I can't remember having that much fun in such a short time.
"The Mole" is coming on and the kids are screaming for me to come watch. I'll chime in some more later.
Thanks again everyone!
nole
I check in about 7PM Friday night, get on the elevator and the 1st person I see is Jack! He had just picked up his wife. Of course I knew him from Internet photos so I say, "Hi Jack, it's me!". Of course I get this blank look like, "Who the frick is this guy" so I introduce myself as Nole. Turns out he 's right across the hall from me. Informs me kosar has the last room on the right. It was a 1/2 mile to my room. kosar had 3/4 mile.
Go to the poker room and see rolltide, another Internet celebrity. Introduce myself and then he points out quite a few MJ members.
I then had the pleasure of meeting Handicapper. I swear he had 3 chips when I walked up but he hung tough and ended up at the final table friday night. After golf Saturday, he was there in the parking lot with this big ole shit-eating grin. I asked what he was grinning about. He cleared $990.00 in a poker tourney while we were sweating our nuts off! Then Jack gives him a few b-day presents and we sang happy b-day. Alan, take care my new friend. Keep kicking ass at those tables!
I meet 6-5. There is a reason he's called 6-5. Freaking tall! Congrats on your craps success! Did I hear you went back after we cashed out Saturday night and picked up a few more bucks? Awesome! Tommy and I had back-to-back great rolls! I love playing that game.
At 3AM, I notice Jack at the bar with some of the MJ alumni. nole makes his entrance to the bar. I come up behind kosar and absolutely shatter a freaking wine glass in to a million pieces. Was there ever a louder glass breaking? Holy crap! 30 heads turn and I'm like, "Hi, I'm nole!" freaking embarassing!
Got to bed around 415AM.
Met Tommy at the buffet Saturday. Munched on that for a while and then off we go to the golf course. Not sure if you heard but it was HOT!!!!!!! Rolltide had the pimp-daddy set-up in his SUV. I'll bring toothpicks next year buddy.
Rolltide, how fun was golf? Did we tear up the back 9 or what? We all had our shots when needed but Scuba Steve really carried us. "The power of Crown will compel you!" Freaking hilarious! I look forward to some more golf with you down the road. The score won't matter. The Crown will!
It took 5 hours and 20 mins to play that round of golf. Felt like 5 hours and 10 mins really. :mj07:
We damn near had to shine headlights on the 18th didn't we?
3 way tie. Who would have thunk it? Great job on making up those teams Jack. It's actually quite amazing you pulled that off.
Jack, thank you for the nice words you said to me Saturday before I went upstairs. We are truly a family in some ways. Thanks very much to you and betcris for sponsoring the tourney. I can't believe I ended up getting my 2 nights comped, my food comped, my golf comped. I was out of pocket for drinks in the casino and gas money. Tough gig.
I can't remember having that much fun in such a short time.
"The Mole" is coming on and the kids are screaming for me to come watch. I'll chime in some more later.
Thanks again everyone!
nole
Oh thats just fhucking great:shrug:
I spend fifteen minutes every fhucking hole on the gawdamned GPS scorecard and you lose the damn scorecard you insisted on keeping. Oh that's rich:0corn :00hour :mj07: :142smilie
Your "little problem" would never have been an issue if you would have let me keep score, we won that event unfair and square:00hour :00hour
Hey Jack, how many times did we here this....
"Here it is. Let's play this one!" :mj07:
FDC definitely won the award for most team spirit. (and best drive by a one armed man)
Remember when Eddie was looking for his ball and I am like "here it is" and Eddie comes walking over and I had already kicked the damn thing like three times towards the green and he started bitching "If Fat will ever let me see my ball" and all I did was:shrug: . Then of course teeing it up in the fairway always helps:00hour
All that and we still come in even with an ice bag on my hand. I don't think I made one single friggin putt except the one I left on the fringe of the cup just like everyone else. Cept Eddie, I had to ask him if his husband played golf at that point.
Dear Diary:
For the first time in 7 1/2 years, I met these clowns in person that I've been insulting, brow beating and otherwise mentally challenging. For the most part, they seemed relatively normal.
I didn't get to talk to everyone mostly due to my getting there late and the lack of any coordinated Saturday night planning by that numbskull Jack but here's my take on the few guys I spent some time with.
I played with Fat, Bart and Jack. Jack really can't drink very much. He had a headache most of the day. No way this guy shoots in the 80's with any regularity (unless its at putt-putt or a par 3).
Had some drinks with he and his wife at the Aquarium bar that night. Didn't talk much to her, although she seemed nice. Dunclock had here cornered all night (poor girl).
Road in the cart with Bart. Young guy from North Carolina. Real nice guy, good golfer. Can hit a one iron a fer piece (although it went right into the woods). Works for a law firm in Carolina so I feel like a brother.
Saturday night after golf, I'm sitting at the Aquarium bar, and I see Bart come sauntering towards the bar walking down the main hallway of Belterra. Now, this good old boy, is standing about 6'2" has blue jeans on, white socks, a tee shirt and no f'ing shoes.
Bart, you are in a casino with marble floors, people are dressed up. One of the funnier sights that night.
So to round out our foursome, we have Fat Daddy Cool, a Chicago transplant living in Texas. My favorite state, home of George W. Bush. This douche bag had hand surgery or something not to long ago. In essence, our foursome has seven arms and 3 brains.
This knucklehead can't hit a golfball worth a shiit until he gets sufficiently sloshed about the 16 hole when we finally, and I mean finally, use one of his drives. Then of course, he can't stop talking about the f'ing shot.
At this point in time, I'm the only guy contributing to this group with an occasional shot from Bart. Jack is bitching and moaning about his head hurting and Mr.-Tee-it-up-in-the-fairway contribution to our group is similar to the insight he provides to the politics and religion forum. zilch.
Prior to this outing, I'm thinking I'm the D maybe C golfer in the group and I turn out to be the A player (maybe Bart is an A- player) keeping this pathetic, disgusting, whining, bunch of lying braggerts at even f'ing par.
Well, Diary, so much for golf. Meeting some of the centrists was fun. Ya know, in person, they are a lot like they are on this forum. Saul (they call him Shane for some reason) can't shut up. Yack, yack, yack. Seemed like a nice guy but alas, wishy, washy.
Bobby Blue Chip was kinda quite. Seemed like he was taking it all in but ready to say something insightful. Just like he is when he posts. Gmroz, soft spoken, real nice guy, didn't think he'd like Columbus, but does. And of course, Kosar. In person, Matt doesn't have the edge he does here. Well ya know, Diary, I didn't either last saturday night.
I think that was all the centrists that I talked to, Kosar, GMroz, Bobby and sometimes, Saul. I know I probably left someone out but I met alot of people in just a few hours Diary and was only for a few minutes.
I really liked 65 and Rolltide. Clint looks like a motorcycle skinhead kinda guy but was real soft spoken. Too bad he's all screwed up politically. Rolltide can really take a joke. When I gave him that box of donuts, he was great. I just wish he would stop call me Sir. Bugs me.
Met Nole, Boilermaker, Dunclock, Tonkgolf, Handicapper (go Bengals) and Bohawk but really didn't get to talk to them for very long. Do remember one of the funniest things I heard over the weekend. It was late Saturday night and I was getting ready to leave the Aquarium bar. Bohawk came up to me and said something to the effect even though I make such assinine posts I'm not that bad of a guy. I thought that was great. I'm still laughing at that one.
Didn't get to meet Wineguy. Again this is do to Jack's lack of organization. Let's see, am I forgeting anyone?
Oh yeah, Diary, him, it, Satan, the evil one, the one whose name shall never be spoken out loud, the agent of the devil, I sought him out with my wig on and met him in the golf cart area. I found him, announced who I was and put my arms around him as though he was my long lost brother. I held out the proverbial olive branch.
I felt something move. He adjusted his underwear. I took off my wig and was prepared for anything. He acknowledged my presence and said he would be right back. I told him I was going down to the parking lot to Rolltides van (aka the rolling bar) and would meet him there.
That was the last I saw of him. Did the coward show up at the van? At the Aquarium bar? Or anywhere else at Belterra that night? No, I say. He cowered in his room like the sniveling weasel that he is.
Therefore, I wore the "no w" tee shirt for the rest of the evening. It means "no wayne". Once again, good triumphs over evil. My work is done here.
Good night diary.
Eddie
For the first time in 7 1/2 years, I met these clowns in person that I've been insulting, brow beating and otherwise mentally challenging. For the most part, they seemed relatively normal.
I didn't get to talk to everyone mostly due to my getting there late and the lack of any coordinated Saturday night planning by that numbskull Jack but here's my take on the few guys I spent some time with.
I played with Fat, Bart and Jack. Jack really can't drink very much. He had a headache most of the day. No way this guy shoots in the 80's with any regularity (unless its at putt-putt or a par 3).
Had some drinks with he and his wife at the Aquarium bar that night. Didn't talk much to her, although she seemed nice. Dunclock had here cornered all night (poor girl).
Road in the cart with Bart. Young guy from North Carolina. Real nice guy, good golfer. Can hit a one iron a fer piece (although it went right into the woods). Works for a law firm in Carolina so I feel like a brother.
Saturday night after golf, I'm sitting at the Aquarium bar, and I see Bart come sauntering towards the bar walking down the main hallway of Belterra. Now, this good old boy, is standing about 6'2" has blue jeans on, white socks, a tee shirt and no f'ing shoes.
Bart, you are in a casino with marble floors, people are dressed up. One of the funnier sights that night.
So to round out our foursome, we have Fat Daddy Cool, a Chicago transplant living in Texas. My favorite state, home of George W. Bush. This douche bag had hand surgery or something not to long ago. In essence, our foursome has seven arms and 3 brains.
This knucklehead can't hit a golfball worth a shiit until he gets sufficiently sloshed about the 16 hole when we finally, and I mean finally, use one of his drives. Then of course, he can't stop talking about the f'ing shot.
At this point in time, I'm the only guy contributing to this group with an occasional shot from Bart. Jack is bitching and moaning about his head hurting and Mr.-Tee-it-up-in-the-fairway contribution to our group is similar to the insight he provides to the politics and religion forum. zilch.
Prior to this outing, I'm thinking I'm the D maybe C golfer in the group and I turn out to be the A player (maybe Bart is an A- player) keeping this pathetic, disgusting, whining, bunch of lying braggerts at even f'ing par.
Well, Diary, so much for golf. Meeting some of the centrists was fun. Ya know, in person, they are a lot like they are on this forum. Saul (they call him Shane for some reason) can't shut up. Yack, yack, yack. Seemed like a nice guy but alas, wishy, washy.
Bobby Blue Chip was kinda quite. Seemed like he was taking it all in but ready to say something insightful. Just like he is when he posts. Gmroz, soft spoken, real nice guy, didn't think he'd like Columbus, but does. And of course, Kosar. In person, Matt doesn't have the edge he does here. Well ya know, Diary, I didn't either last saturday night.
I think that was all the centrists that I talked to, Kosar, GMroz, Bobby and sometimes, Saul. I know I probably left someone out but I met alot of people in just a few hours Diary and was only for a few minutes.
I really liked 65 and Rolltide. Clint looks like a motorcycle skinhead kinda guy but was real soft spoken. Too bad he's all screwed up politically. Rolltide can really take a joke. When I gave him that box of donuts, he was great. I just wish he would stop call me Sir. Bugs me.
Met Nole, Boilermaker, Dunclock, Tonkgolf, Handicapper (go Bengals) and Bohawk but really didn't get to talk to them for very long. Do remember one of the funniest things I heard over the weekend. It was late Saturday night and I was getting ready to leave the Aquarium bar. Bohawk came up to me and said something to the effect even though I make such assinine posts I'm not that bad of a guy. I thought that was great. I'm still laughing at that one.
Didn't get to meet Wineguy. Again this is do to Jack's lack of organization. Let's see, am I forgeting anyone?
Oh yeah, Diary, him, it, Satan, the evil one, the one whose name shall never be spoken out loud, the agent of the devil, I sought him out with my wig on and met him in the golf cart area. I found him, announced who I was and put my arms around him as though he was my long lost brother. I held out the proverbial olive branch.
I felt something move. He adjusted his underwear. I took off my wig and was prepared for anything. He acknowledged my presence and said he would be right back. I told him I was going down to the parking lot to Rolltides van (aka the rolling bar) and would meet him there.
That was the last I saw of him. Did the coward show up at the van? At the Aquarium bar? Or anywhere else at Belterra that night? No, I say. He cowered in his room like the sniveling weasel that he is.
Therefore, I wore the "no w" tee shirt for the rest of the evening. It means "no wayne". Once again, good triumphs over evil. My work is done here.
Good night diary.
Eddie
Edward We waited for you till we had to tee off--but some folks who had shortest distance to travel must think it fashionable to be late and have everyone wait..
As far as coming right back--I was looking at for pic that I got out of www.gamblersanonymous.org I'd seen --on member who won raffle sponsered by local law office in Cinn for 1 day trip to Belterra including 18 holes of golf. Was going to see if photo matched --but couldn't tell as each time I saw you--you had on diff disguise. :shrug:
As far as coming right back--I was looking at for pic that I got out of www.gamblersanonymous.org I'd seen --on member who won raffle sponsered by local law office in Cinn for 1 day trip to Belterra including 18 holes of golf. Was going to see if photo matched --but couldn't tell as each time I saw you--you had on diff disguise. :shrug:
And of course, Kosar. In person, Matt doesn't have the edge he does here. :mj07:
That shot was for you, Wayne. I had to show everyone that I was carrying our group the last few holes. ...literally in some cases.
Freakin Kosar is the laziest person I've ever met and deceptively difficult to lift. What a dusgusting lack of effort. We used his drive on the first hole and he decided to be content with that little miracle the next 5 hours.
Poor Dunclock carried the cross for the team all day. He was showing wear and tear by the back 9. Kept cursing at how hilly the course was - something about how we were playing "in a bowl". Around the 8th hole he introduced me to the "hybrid" club. All of a sudden my game had moments of not complete disgrace.
BBC was too busy calculating my club rental tab and lost ball fees to focus much on his golf. Still, he was the 2nd best player on the team and best golf teacher I have ever had. His student shined in front of the world on the 18th.
Although I learned a lot, I like to think I taught the others about *gumption* down the stretch. Another 10 holes and we would have won the whole thing.
Team #7 Stats:
Score: -1
Shots used by -
Dunclock 57%
BBC 33%
Smurphy 9%
Kosar 1%
Shots "taken off" by Kosar: 10
Balls lost: 38 (amazingly kinda evenly distributed)
Coronas left on tees for team #8: 1
Illegal restroom breaks: 5
Times Dunclock/Andy was called "Gary": just once
Times I thanked BBC for stuff: 21
Times I thank BBC without sarcasm: 2
BBC's shoe size: 14:scared
% of team not wearing golf spikes: 50
Number of profane-laced exchanges with FDC shooting behind us: 4
Number of players in team #6 hit by Dunclock's drives: 1
Number of times Dunclock's putts saved our asses from bogeys and double bogeys: 12
Average time Kosar spent setting himself for shots: 0.01 seconds. ...I've never seen such disdain for effort.:nono:
